All About Full-Time Maids
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Hi pineapple tarts,
I got maid only when daughter came. So we will feed son since he was 4-5 then. Will ask maid if she wanted rice or noodles and then get for her. Maid will feed daughter milk…when she got bigger, maid fed her porridge from Thermos flask prepared at home.
Since maid isn’t 自动 by helping hubby carry food, we get her to feed kids first and then she eats last. -
2ppaamm:
These days, I have a terrible headache whenever I get angry, stressed or very tired. This started about 2 years ago...
I had an Indonesian maid who would make me very angry, and would not do what I ask her to do. Despite that, I tried to keep her as I pitied her, I did not want to see her out of a job and had to pay her hefty loan. As a result, I tolerated everything she did.
Nevertheless, I could not stand her leaving my iron in the rain despite me telling her again and again. I don't like my maid climbing over my walls and meet men in hotels, I don't like my maid going to my son's room in the middle of the night, I don't like that she laughed whenever I tell her what she did wrong or singing. As a result, I got angry. Then, I realised that whenever I get angry, my blood would rush to my head and I'll get this headache as I scolded her.
Even my children could not get me so mad.
She has left for more than a year. My pain stays...
I wished I had let her off earlier. :stupid:
Poor dear, glad that she has left. Take care & you are not stupid OK, just unlucky to gena such maid. -
janet_lee88:
yah, some maid really no \"smart eye\". Once I have a maid who eat like a cow. Very greedy. She will chose the most expensive dish like fish, prawns & meat which make her vege rice meal at least $6-8. But nevermind, at least I see her personality. So I don bring her out kee.e....Hi pineapple tarts,
I got maid only when daughter came. So we will feed son since he was 4-5 then. Will ask maid if she wanted rice or noodles and then get for her. Maid will feed daughter milk...when she got bigger, maid fed her porridge from Thermos flask prepared at home.
Since maid isn't 自动 by helping hubby carry food, we get her to feed kids first and then she eats last. -
I suppose all these black faces & stuck-up attitude can be discussed very frankly and I will find a right opportunity to talk to her.
Correct, but you must be firm on your ground when u talk to her. Some maids are very smart. U must not be taken in. We can give maid the freedom but we expect the basic respect. -
Pineapple tarts,
I’ve learnt better not to let maids buy their own food. Most maids are greedy and no thanks to the food stall operators who will ‘push’ the expensive dishes. Don’t want to avoid that scenario where I have to let her stay at home bcos of her greediness.
Never ask maid why they show black face, bcos that would mean you know how to see black face. I pretend NOT to know. If I ask her why she has black face, that means I know how to ‘see’…and she will show me even more. But I will show her BLACK face in return. -
pineapple tarts:
Just to share: I also have the same problem with my maid for past 1-2 years. As she is a good worker, I talk to her nicely whenever she talks back, show black face to guests, is rude and explain that she cannot do that.... and that type of behaviour is unacceptable. Usually things improve after that.... but will recur after a few months. Sadly.I suppose all these black faces & stuck-up attitude can be discussed very frankly and I will find a right opportunity to talk to her.
Correct, but you must be firm on your ground when u talk to her. Some maids are very smart. U must not be taken in. We can give maid the freedom but we expect the basic respect.
I figure that she realises that I cherish her services and she can \"makan\" me. Perhaps she figured out that I also very sian to change maid. Anyway, after almost 4 years with her, I am happy to be finally changing to a new maid... Whilst it will be difficult to start all over again with a new maid, I think that enough is enough with my current maid.
So if you talk to her, it is important to let her know that you are the boss and you won't hesitate to send her home if you are unhappy with her services and attitude. Good luck! Hope it works out for you. -
ChiefKiasu:
Now... maybe this maid of yours is able to \"psychically\" project herself into your dreams... kekekke... twilight zone time.
Well, Chief, that just shows how troubled I was about this but thanks to pineapple_tart's advice to \"take it easy, we are all just human\" helped me to put things into better perspective.
Also, can you believe that after having this dream about me scolding her etc.. saying all those things that I wanted to say in the dream but dare not say out loud, I actually felt much better? Ke..ke..ke..perhaps fighting in twilight zone time is not so bad after all!
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Hi 2ppaamm,
wah lau...reading about what your maid did already gave me a headache and I can also feel my blood going into my head! Really admire you for being able to still tolerate on account of pitying her - but I guess she really did not deserve it.
But don't beat yourself over it, she is already gone.
Perhaps you should have a dream like mine and in it, you were beating her up. :rant: I guarantee you after you wake up you will feel so much better! (just teasing...)
2ppaamm:
I had an Indonesian maid who would make me very angry, and would not do what I ask her to do. Despite that, I tried to keep her as I pitied her, I did not want to see her out of a job and had to pay her hefty loan. As a result, I tolerated everything she did.
Nevertheless, I could not stand her leaving my iron in the rain despite me telling her again and again. I don't like my maid climbing over my walls and meet men in hotels, I don't like my maid going to my son's room in the middle of the night, I don't like that she laughed whenever I tell her what she did wrong or singing. As a result, I got angry. Then, I realised that whenever I get angry, my blood would rush to my head and I'll get this headache as I scolded her.
I wished I had let her off earlier. :stupid: -
2ppaamm, I really understood what you've gone through. I sent back my last maid a year ago, she brought many men into our hse when we were away for holiday. One of the men is my neighbour. When we came back, his wife confronted me.. I asked my ex-maid, she admitted and showed some other men photos in her handphone, those photos were taken when they sat on the sofa in our living room. Until today, I still feel bad if I remembered about my ex-maid. Someone I really trusted, misused our trust on her... That's why I prefer to do housework myself without maid now.. :lol:
2ppaamm:
These days, I have a terrible headache whenever I get angry, stressed or very tired. This started about 2 years ago...
I had an Indonesian maid who would make me very angry, and would not do what I ask her to do. Despite that, I tried to keep her as I pitied her, I did not want to see her out of a job and had to pay her hefty loan. As a result, I tolerated everything she did.
Nevertheless, I could not stand her leaving my iron in the rain despite me telling her again and again. I don't like my maid climbing over my walls and meet men in hotels, I don't like my maid going to my son's room in the middle of the night, I don't like that she laughed whenever I tell her what she did wrong or singing. As a result, I got angry. Then, I realised that whenever I get angry, my blood would rush to my head and I'll get this headache as I scolded her.
Even my children could not get me so mad.
She has left for more than a year. My pain stays...
I wished I had let her off earlier. :stupid: -
DesertWind:
Hi Desertwindverykiasu2010:
it is time to have a new maid then
Hi verykiasu2010,
If I do this, I suspect I will be exchanging one problem for perhaps 10 other problems!
My DH said the same thing ie its better to live with a \"known\" problem than many \"unknown\" problems with a new maid when my maid had some issues with attitude and HP after 7yrs. We spoke to her about it for about a yr before we sort of \"give up\" and not want to keep her when she wanted to leave when her contract ends this Nov.
You should speak to her nicely like what you suggested abt yr end appraisal. In fact, we had feedback sessions every 2 mths for the first two yrs, and every half yr for the next two yrs. We normally try to consolidate the things we want to feedback to her together, (if not too urgent) so that I do not sound so naggy if I will to tell her for each little thing. DH also very good at giving appraisals ie focus on what she does well first before moving on to what needs to be changed. Its only when we sort of left her \"alone \" ie no more appraisals that she sort of slacken/get distracted with friends. Although I planned to get another maid after she leaves, I know deep in my heart that the new maid will not be able to meet up with my current maid's standard of work sigh.........
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