2010 PSLE English
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CVPSMASH:
I would give it a 30-31. How much do you usually score in school?For Compo,I chose question 3.
That's my compo.
The class was yawning away as the teacher went on and on with his monotonous tone.\"Ring!\" The school bell rang to signal the end of school.I sat up right,just like all my other bleary-eyed classmates,waiting for the teacher's signal to dismiss us.When he did,we sprang out from our seats and rushed out of school.
\"Jane!\"my friends,Amelia and Eunice called out for me.\"Hello!\"I shouted back while waving my hands at them. Together,we walked to the bus stop.
Time seemed to pass so slowly (Improvement: The wait seemed like eternity.... ) while waiting for the bus to arrive.Suddenly,an elderly woman walked unsteadily (staggering) towards our direction. Concerned,I rushed over to give her a hand.\"Are you alright?\"I asked.\"I have just been robbed! The robber pushed me and I fell,my legs hurts now...\"she replied.
I was stunned.My instincts nudged me that we should report this robbery case to the police!Just then,my friends walked towards us and asked what (had) happened.I told them about the elderly woman's mishap and we advised the elderly woman,\"We think that you should report the incident to the police.We will accompany you along.\"She nodded weakly, (apparently,she was[not really needed]) still shaken from the sudden turn of events.On our way to the police station, we supported her and also offered consolation to her.
When we reach(ed, [arrived]) there, the elderly woman was asked to give a statement. After that,the police officer and the elderly woman thanked us for our quick-thinking of advising the elderly woman (her) to report the case to the police.I smiled sheepishly.The police officer then informed the elderly woman's son to fetch her.
Knowing that she would be well-taken cared of, we left and headed back to the bus stop. I could not help but beamed with pride on my way home as I had done a good deed and that's a fact.
Wondering how much I would get?
:?: -
yongjianrong:
Urm on average I would say a 30?
I would give it a 30-31. How much do you usually score in school?CVPSMASH:
For Compo,I chose question 3.
That's my compo.
The class was yawning away as the teacher went on and on with his monotonous tone.\"Ring!\" The school bell rang to signal the end of school.I sat up right,just like all my other bleary-eyed classmates,waiting for the teacher's signal to dismiss us.When he did,we sprang out from our seats and rushed out of school.
\"Jane!\"my friends,Amelia and Eunice called out for me.\"Hello!\"I shouted back while waving my hands at them. Together,we walked to the bus stop.
Time seemed to pass so slowly (Improvement: The wait seemed like eternity.... ) while waiting for the bus to arrive.Suddenly,an elderly woman walked unsteadily (staggering) towards our direction. Concerned,I rushed over to give her a hand.\"Are you alright?\"I asked.\"I have just been robbed! The robber pushed me and I fell,my legs hurts now...\"she replied.
I was stunned.My instincts nudged me that we should report this robbery case to the police!Just then,my friends walked towards us and asked what (had) happened.I told them about the elderly woman's mishap and we advised the elderly woman,\"We think that you should report the incident to the police.We will accompany you along.\"She nodded weakly, (apparently,she was[not really needed]) still shaken from the sudden turn of events.On our way to the police station, we supported her and also offered consolation to her.
When we reach(ed, [arrived]) there, the elderly woman was asked to give a statement. After that,the police officer and the elderly woman thanked us for our quick-thinking of advising the elderly woman (her) to report the case to the police.I smiled sheepishly.The police officer then informed the elderly woman's son to fetch her.
Knowing that she would be well-taken cared of, we left and headed back to the bus stop. I could not help but beamed with pride on my way home as I had done a good deed and that's a fact.
Wondering how much I would get? :?: -
dericklee:
Where were the jewels found??? You accepted the jewels??
Hahabeauty queen:
my was she was chased by loan shark syndicate group and the extreme suns heat made her dehydrated and parched cauing her to walk unsteadily. I try stop that gy go stab my back and also my friends and slah old lady throat. I wake up smelling a familiar scent look around but was total darkness. Hear my mother sobbing. Ask her waht happen to friends. They die, and i lose my eyesight due to a hitting somewhere in the backbone which causes eyesight to be lost(got read somewheree before) then say i will think my own eyes will return if justice is served.
Described it using alot of phrases. If this ok.....?
Really out of point but quite funny. Did u really write this?
I write mine lose her precious jewels so faint of shock. Friends & I find Jewels. Give us some. We very rich. Very happy . I think quite gd compo.
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Mine is I say that got robbers rob the granny money, ask my friends and I to help. One friends say we too young, should call police. But another friend ignored. Went to find robbers(granny told us which direction the robbers went). My friend that suggested call police still did so as she did not feel safe. The friend that ignored demanded to the robbers to hand money over when she spotted them. Robbers never give money back but started chasing us with knives. My friend who ignored kenna stabbed. The police then arrived. They split into 2 groups one go and find robbers(as they go away earlier on) the other went to attend to my friend that kenna stabbed. But too late my friend stopped coughing(that means die liao). Every one shocked. Granny kept on saying that her fault. We assured her that it wasn't. I also got say I will nver forget this day. Even though robbers caught liao but I still feel angry whenever I see robbers be it on TV or whatsoever. I still got say I want to become police next time.
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mine is i wrote she was a con woman that had just been released from prison but she was unwilling to turn over a new leaf and started cheating people again. Thus the police were after her again.
DD of sesame -
wad bout sythesis regardless of where she/elsa goes, elsa/she always brings her handphone with her
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wad is synthesis the question on elsa
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snowman.697:
it's not out of point, for compo, u must build up suspence and make it exciting. To excite the reader, the writer must make a twist so that the reader can have a touching/emotional feeling at the ending. Think positive, not negative.
What? out of point!flametree:
i chose number 3 for compo. i wrote that the granny sat besides at bus stop. boarded bus tog. bus was jam packed but i got a seat but refused to let granny sit coz i was dead tired. suddenly bus jammed brake and she lost her grip and flew out of the bus's windscreen and died on the road. i became a \"murderer\".
flametree DS
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CVPSMASH:
Urm on average I would say a 30?[/quote]
I would give it a 30-31. How much do you usually score in school?yongjianrong:
[quote=\"CVPSMASH\"]For Compo,I chose question 3.
That's my compo.
The class was yawning away as the lesson, in the teacher's monotonous tone began to pall on us all. \"Ring!\" The school bell rang to signal the end of school. I sat bolt upright, just like all my other bleary-eyed classmates, waiting impatiently for the teacher's signal to dismiss us. When he did,we sprang up from our seats and rushed out of the school.
\"Jane!\" my friends, Amelia and Eunice called out for me.\"Hello!\" I shouted back waving at them. Together, we walked to the bus stop. The wait for the bus seemed like eternity. Suddenly, a sallow nondescript elderly woman staggered towards us. Concerned, I rushed over to support her. \"Are you alright?\" I asked politely. \"I... I have been robbed! The ... the robber pushed me and I fell, my legs hurt badly...\" she sobbed uncontrollably.
I was stunned. My instincts nudged me that we should report the robbery. We advised the elderly woman, \"We think that you should report the incident to the police. We will accompany you there.\" She assented feebly, apparently still badly-shaken by the robber. On our way to the police station, we supported, consoled and commiserate with her.
When we reached the police station, the elderly woman was asked to give a statement. After that she thanked us profusely. The police officer also praised us for giving her the right advice. Embarrassed from the compliment, I smiled sheepishly.The police officer then informed the elderly woman's son to pick her up.
Knowing that she would be well-taken care of, we left and headed back to the bus stop. Our feet seemed to have wheels. I also noticed that there was glint of joy in my friends' eyes. At the same time, I could not help but beamed with pride as we had done a good deed.
Wondering how much I would get? :?:
How about 28/40? -
I disagree that just coz a compo has a twist it means that it is a great piece of work. Sometimes, writing a twist for the sake of the twist makes the story bland and boring, if u know what I mean. In content, to score 18-20 marks, one must be sure to include ample ideas which are fully developed. Also, if u keep on developing suspence and puking out all the phrases that u rot learnt, the marker will get fed up. You should vary the mood through out the story to make sure the story is not a drag.
Juz my 2 cents worth.
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