Childcare or no Childcare?

[cherrygal]

Fuzz:

Cherrygal, unfortunately u're right. my cousin's kid went to a pre-school which was all play and all abt empowering kids to make decisions, do their own thing. He got a shock when he started pr school n couldn't adapt. It's quite sad.

Your nephew went to the US rite? Can't he remain there for his schooling?

While it's great to teach kids to think and make decisions, the people down the line at our primary schools (or the whole education system) can't practise that. It is the vision of the prime minister or MOE to \"teach less, learn more\" and have a thinking nation etc but that is empty talk when they don't remove the regimented tests and exams. The teachers or worse, parents (since teachers teach less now) still gotta coach the kids to score at the exams. The kids gotta write what the examiner wants in order to score. Read the recent forum article on English comprehension... the kid got marked wrong for giving an answer that is similar in meaning to the model answer. Nothing's gonna change if change is only talk.

Our so-called elites are those who were picked for their good grades at the PSLE, O levels, IB or A Levels and University honors. These are all major exams!

[Fuzz]

Oh this is a different nephew, who went to a montessori here in singapore.

My sister’s kids are the ones in the US. And no unfortunately they’re only there temporarily cos she’s studying there, so they have to return to our school system.

Well our education system is not all bad. it has some gd points too. but i agree that it shouldn’t be just abt good grades, esp if the examiners and teachers are rigid, stick by the book and accept only model answers. This kind of system totally kills any love for learning!!

[foreverj]

Fuzz:

Well our education system is not all bad. it has some gd points too. but i agree that it shouldn't be just abt good grades, esp if the examiners and teachers are rigid, stick by the book and accept only model answers. This kind of system totally kills any love for learning!!

my dh used to be appalled at the ridiculous way the JC teachers mark his tuition student's economics papers. it seems that they can't accept anything less than their own model answer, and guess where they got their own model answer from? cut and pasted from the MAS website. so they rather mark the student's own well-thought answer wrong.

so dh always say he's prepared to go challenge dd's teacher if they so much as mark her answers (must be right in substance) wrong just becos its not the model answer! :lol:

[kiasu-tweety]

If both parents are working, putting their children in child-care is unavoidable. Unless grand-parents have the time & energy to help to take care of them. I do not recommend them to place their infants/toddlers with maids, especially if their children still cannot talk. Unless they want to install CCTVs to monitor their maids, while they are not at home.

[AuntieKiasi]

kiasu-tweety:

If both parents are working, putting their children in child-care is unavoidable. Unless grand-parents have the time & energy to help to take care of them. I do not recommend them to place their infants/toddlers with maids, especially if their children still cannot talk. Unless they want to install CCTVs to monitor their maids, while they are not at home.

Putting a child is a better option than kindergarten. Though the hours are long, they get to learn more things. Besides, most Ccs ready the children for P1 by starting them with subject knowledge in K1.

[myoffspring]

My 19 mth just started cc this week and has been crying badly everyday…very heartpain…my mil thinks I am a heartless mother to send child to cc at such a tender age…i want her to attend cc to learn more and be independent rather watching tv programmes at home daily. But I am also afraid that all this crying wil kill her interest in learning and develop a phobia of going to school .

Would appreciate to get advice from parents here…many thanks…

[cherrygal]

myoffspring:

My 19 mth just started cc this week and has been crying badly everyday...very heartpain..my mil thinks I am a heartless mother to send child to cc at such a tender age..i want her to attend cc to learn more and be independent rather watching tv programmes at home daily. But I am also afraid that all this crying wil kill her interest in learning and develop a phobia of going to school .

Would appreciate to get advice from parents here...many thanks..

Hi myoffspring
Don't be affected by the crying and what your mil says. It's just separation anxiety. If you speak to her teacher, you would learn that your child calms down after you leave and plays happily there. Most children do that. You just have to make it easier for yourself by leaving quickly and not hanging around the centre. As long as the caregivers there are nice, and there are no bullies around, your child will get the hang of it in a few months.

[Shoe]

Heh… my personal observation, I would go for childcare esp in K1 and K2…


My girl thinks that primary school is very easy compared to childcare… She’s only in school for half a day, she also has school holidays. No such thing when in childcare so she’s so thrilled about that!

[Fuzz]

cherrygal:

Hi myoffspring

Don't be affected by the crying and what your mil says. It's just separation anxiety. If you speak to her teacher, you would learn that your child calms down after you leave and plays happily there. Most children do that. You just have to make it easier for yourself by leaving quickly and not hanging around the centre. As long as the caregivers there are nice, and there are no bullies around, your child will get the hang of it in a few months.

Hi I agree with cherrygal, it's quite normal for most kids to cry when they start childcare or preschool. I worked as a temp at a childcare centre many years ago. I think I was a fresh grad at that time and I remember being shocked by how the little kids were all screaming and crying their heads off during the first few days of school. But they got used to things after a while and were perfectly happy after that.

Parents are always encouraged to just drop off their kids and leave, instead of hanging around. If you make a big deal out of saying goodbye and you keep lingering around with a worried face, your kid can sense your anxiety and may get more nervous. So it's better to just be casual about it, say \"bye, have fun!' and just be cheerful.

Don't worry, she'll be ok! If you're concerned, you may want to speak to her teacher to find out how she is in class, and work closely with the teacher. It's not heartless to send your child for cc! She will learn a lot more and it will benefit her in the long run. Hang in there!

[toddles]

I guess sometimes it also depends on the age of the child, the child's personality and the quality of care at the cc.


for some children, 18 months is really too young, and they really cannot adapt and cry their eyeballs out for a month or more.

for some children, their personality is such that they adapt quickly and are more independent anyway, so no prob.

some cc have teachers that are not caring / have too many kids to handle that they might not be able to soothe / reassure a frightened insecure child.

on the parents' part, if they ascertain that the teachers will be responsible and caring, and their kid is not totally unready, then the best advice I got from a principal was that the parent must totally let go first. internally. such that the kid will get those vibes and be more confident and assured eventually too. :celebrate: