Temper Tantrums
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:lol: not that he's sensible...he's just very scared of me... I look like a monster when I get angry.
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The point when u said he will hesitate when take a candy and eat, I think he is quite a thinker…
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The point when u said he will hesitate when take a candy and eat, I think he is quite a thinker…
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This is the 'terrible two' stage. The best is ignorance and occasionally use the cane. :spank:
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After reading many posts here, it seems parents have problems with children throwing tantrums, especially in public. During my times, we dun have such problems.
Throwing tantrums in public
My parents will ignore me, walk away and make sure I can’t find them and they themselves cannot find me.
Throwing tantrums at home
Chase the child out of the house, close the doors, no dinner and stay out until next morning.
Follow these 2 methods. Let me know if they don’t work. -
HoSayLiao:
hi,After reading many posts here, it seems parents have problems with children throwing tantrums, especially in public. During my times, we dun have such problems.
Throwing tantrums in public
My parents will ignore me, walk away and make sure I can't find them and they themselves cannot find me.
Throwing tantrums at home
Chase the child out of the house, close the doors, no dinner and stay out until next morning.
Follow these 2 methods. Let me know if they don't work.
do you have children of your own?
if so, have you tried the above methods? your wife or even your parents agreed to such methods of punishment? grandparents use different yardstick in the upbringing of their children and their grandchildren.... -
Hi jedamum
When I was growing up, the 2 methods are commonly used. Trust me, they will work. Every now and then, I would see children of my age locked out of the house. Almost every night, I can hear parents screaming and children cry from the next block, not the next door. I still remember that usually, the Indian father is the harshest caner. Hahaha!! The good old days indeed!!! -
IMHO any methods for disciplining kids shd not put the kids in a potentially dangerous situation…like losing the kid and exposing the kid to the dangers outside at night.
being tough on the kid does need to be use at times though. I do the ignore and walk off thing too. but I was only pretending to walk off still keeping an eye on him. Thankfully after the the terrible 2-3 phase he hardly throw tantrums in public.
At home, if Ds throws starts to throw a tantrum he will usually be ignored or scolded/reasoned with. If he throw things or want to beat any one because of the tantrum, he will need to go to the naughty corner. If he still do not behave in the naughty corner he will get additional time and if he still refuse to behave, being beaten.
Another thing that works for me is a system to reward and take away of privileges. For us he got a card which I draw smiley faces as a reward when he is very good or did his work very well. He get to play animal kaiser (this can be replace with anything the kid like alot) when he earns 7 smiley faces. So when he is being extremely notty, I will threaten to cancel one of his hard earn smiley faces. So far, works pretty well.
The punishment need to be explained and supplemented by stories and examples on the right way to behave + ways to get the kid to feel good when he behave. -
[quote]Another thing that works for me is a system to reward and take away of privileges. [/quote]
During my times, there is no rewards for behaving well, only punishment for behaving badly. Of course, we need to talk to the child, telling him/her the reason for behaving well.
My mother tell me only one reason why we need to behave. She will says, \"Father went out to work very hard to make a living so children must behave well to make parents happy.\"
U should be expecting your child to behave well because he want u to be happy and proud not because he is going to be rewarded. -
HoSayLiao:
[quote]Another thing that works for me is a system to reward and take away of privileges.
U should be expecting your child to behave well because he want u to be happy and proud not because he is going to be rewarded.[/quote]Expecting the young child to behave well because he wants you to be happy and proud is the ideal. However, I feel that this depends very much on the temperament and maturity of the child and perhaps the relationship between parent and child.
I don't ever remember my DS1 ever throwing a tantrum when he was young... seriously! He's more quiet and more willing to listen to reason compared to DS2, and I can sense that he wants to behave well cos he wants mommy to be happy - he's very close to me. Now as he is older, we also adopt a system of rewards for good deeds and take away his privileges when he is undeserving of them.
My DS2 however often throws tantrums... the cry till he vomits, wails and screams lying on the floor type... He does not listen to reason.
I have to resort to the \"ignore and wait till he's tired from crying\" method before I can even try to reason and talk to him. He's not as close to me as DS1 but lately our relationship has become closer. 
Last Sunday, DS2 created a small scene at the toy section of the departmental store. I found DH sitting hopelessly beside him as DS2 sat screaming and insisting that he wanted to bring home about almost all the toys. Told DH to let him choose 2 toys earlier. Somehow, after speaking calmly and repeatedly to DS2, I finally succeeded in getting him to choose only 2 toys!!! Hippee! It took almost 10 minutes but no major tantrum in public, phew! This led me to think that maybe having a closer relationship with the child helped and maybe ... DS2 listened cos he just wanted to make mommy happy? :lol:
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