Can anyone advise me what to do?(long)
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mumof3kids:
At the time I just gave birth my 3rd on 2008, I have to time to handle my 2nd, so, hv to send him to child care centre nearby as easier for me to send & fetch. My boy is slow is speech, stat to speak in sentence only when he is 3yrs old, now he is 4 yrs old, but still, his speech skills is not that good. He tend to throw tantrum as he can't express himself well, and we cant understand what he wants..as he is in the middle, where eldest always being care too much due to poor health, and youngest is being care more as she is small.. Guess this caused some bad impacts..
I would suggest you take care of your number 2 personally since he obviously need more attention now than the other 2 kids. Perhaps you can consider homeschooling him temporarily and supplement with enrichments if necessary.
Your youngest is around 2 years old now? If can't cope with both at home, perhaps you can think of alternative babysitting arrangement for your youngest child -
Hi mumof3kids,
My heart aches for your 4 yo boy when I read your post!
It was really mean of the teacher not to give the goodie bag to your boy, he is just 4 yo for goodness sake! And the teacher is really too much to withhold just to \"teach him a lesson\"! :x
Young children need a lot of love, care and concern, be it from parents or from their teachers. Mean treatments will not do their development any good!
Furthermore, since your boy has been crying everyday and reluctant to go to school, I think you should not force him.
I have similar experience with my 3 yo boy. We place him at a CCC from 2 yo to 2.5 yo. He is a very active boy and we also for convenience sake just place him in the nearest CCC to our house so that we can send and maid can fetch easily! However, I think he was terribly bored in this structured environment and after 3 months, teachers told us he is not able to pay attention. After 6 months, teacher told us that he is not giving eye-contact and unable to join/sit down in class and told us to go for early intervention!
Was really a shock to us too because everyday we send him to school but teacher never said anything. At home, he was always a happy boy and we did not think there was anything wrong! It did not help that at home & at doctor's clinic he tends to go into his \"terrible twos\" tantrums and he has a temper I can tell you! So few occassions, doctors told us to look for signs of autism and bring him to KKH for assessments!
During the KKH assessment, the doctor said there is no need to go for further tests as my boy is OK but has speech delay so must go for speech therapy (long wait of 5 - 6 months I am still waiting to bring him for the 1st session!).
I pulled him out of the CCC at 2.5 yo and put him into a private early intervention centre! The main advantage of such centres is the small teacher-student ratio 1-4 or 1-5 max. It is expensive to say the least but for private centres, you do not need a clinical diagnosis to attend and I try not to think about the \"stigma\" as I can see that my boy has turned around. My boy is very happy there and enjoys going to school very much! The teachers and principal are friendly and he has gone for a school outing to the zoo, celebrated his 3 yo birthday there, received a number of goodie bags, got invited to a classmate's home to attend a birthday party and had a really wonderful children's day party at school recently with lots of activities eg. balloon man, sandplay, colouring of hair, macdonald's lunch etc..etc....! I was so glad to see him happy! :love:
(Lastest breakthrough - my son is now able to recite A-Z and 1-10 when previously he was mono-syllabic until almost his 3 yo birthday. He is also speaking words more!).
I think your main aim must be to ensure your 2nd boy is HAPPY so that he can develop properly. Based on what I have shared above, I will advice you very strongly to stop sending your boy to his current school. It is better for him to stay at home (& be with you since you are a SAHM) then to go to school unhappy. Then look around for a school / CCC with very supportive teachers and principal who can/willing to help your boy.
I am going to PM you to share more.
Take heart mumof3kids, as you can see, you are not alone here!
:celebrate: -
Agreed with DesertWind and sleepy.
Keep your 2nd child at home with you for the time being. Remove the external factors (such as schooling) and observe and be with him. At the meantime, take time to look out for another school. Perhaps during this period, all the unhappiness about schooling will be erased from his mind....
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Hi
I also quite new here. I am a dad and I also think you should change school. Get help from hubby or other family members also.
I have a newborn daughter…actually now 10 months already and I am quite sure I will stop at one. Brave of you to have 3.
When I was a young child, I also always kenna scolding from kinder garden teacher. Until now I still can remember she throw duster at me so imagine.
If you dont change his school sure got self esteem problem. Help him before too much damage done. -
Dear Mumof3Kids,
When KK PD attended to your son, did he send him for a hearing test? My friend’s child and my own had a similar situation… loner, playing by himself, low self esteem, slow in speech (but started uttering words at 8mths and then stopped at 15-18mths etc… I tried talking to him in a soft tone to see whether he could hear… yes, he could… then lots of people tell me boys are slower in speech. In any case, his pronunication at 3yrs 6mths was not too good and Nursery. So I took him to the Audiologist at Lucky Plaza and had his hearing tested. Actually prior to that we consulted a very famous ENT doctor at Gleneagles and he said nothing wrong… just wax in his ears.
The hearing test showed something blocked in his eustachian tubes. So I asked the audiologist for a recommendation of an ENT who is v good with young children. This ENT has since migrated. He took out a raisin size "deposit" from each ear. ENT found fluid and confirmed middle ear infection. Apparently my child’s eustachian tubes, esp the right size is rather narrow. Treatment is a long process. My son is still under ENT care and the next appointment is this Nov holidays. Sometimes a GP or even an ENT won’t be able to see much with the scope. A few months back, I spent nearly $1k just seeing ENT, audiologist and CT-scan. However his hearing was restored and he was able to speak rather well in K2. The low self esteem extended till K1… often sad. I too took my children out of the first kindergarten to another one cos I personally witnessed how my elder child was dragged into the general office in front of a missionary worker. The latter was shocked and subsequently left for other missionary work. Obviously my children were abused both verbally and physically. My younger child was pushed out of the classroom and hit on the head. Mind you, this kindergarten fees are on the high end and in fact the highest amongst all the religious-related kindergarten. Thank goodness my younger child only stayed 6 mths in the first kindergarten. Bottomline - do not assume that a religious and/or reputable preschools would have the right type of teachers. Do not just go for convenience too, eg the one nearest your home. There are some preschools which have much smaller enrolment hence teacher-student ratio smaller if you can’t manage having your 2nd child at home. However it would be good for him to go to another preschool so that he can overcome his fears and change his perception what schooling is like, else you might have a bigger problem when it comes to Primary One when the enrolment per class is 30 and would his "fear" be overcome over time.
Neither my elder son was ADHD (as per the 1st kindergarten teachers who insisted we consulted a psychologist… with the report being v v positive for my child, the teachers still abuse him) nor was my 2nd son autistic. In fact my 2nd child speaks very well now and is very articulated. However I met 2 child psychologists in the course of attending some talks, I learnt that my 2nd child’s learning was indeed affected during that crucial age when he was hard of hearing (and inability to communicate well) 15mths to 5yrs old. It is harder for them to catch up… and I do see the difference. So spending more time with him would definitely help him catch up. Hope you will find comfort in all our sharing and be encouraged. All the best. -
thks for all the kind-hearted parents here, I really get a fresher mind after read all the sharings and suggestion...
But, now, my FIL is really a problem too, when my son is crying or refuse to go to school, he keep on complaining the school, and now, I say I am going to withdraw him from this school, he stop me at angry tune!! He said I am forcing my son, keep on pushing him to new environment and frighten him...OMG, this is my only son, I love him so much, but, no matter what i have done to the family, he will interpeted into bad one...I really cant remember how many time I cried due to their rude behavior upon me...simply because I am M'sia, they always look down on me, whenever S'pore & M'sia hv some problems, they will say:you see, you Mslaysian!!!...I hate it!!! Malaysian also human being, reserve the right to do things esp. playing a role as mother to the son!!! :stupid: -
2centsworthy:
hi 2centsworthy,Dear Mumof3Kids,
When KK PD attended to your son, did he send him for a hearing test? My friend's child and my own had a similar situation... loner, playing by himself, low self esteem, slow in speech (but started uttering words at 8mths and then stopped at 15-18mths etc... I tried talking to him in a soft tone to see whether he could hear... yes, he could... then lots of people tell me boys are slower in speech. In any case, his pronunication at 3yrs 6mths was not too good and Nursery. So I took him to the Audiologist at Lucky Plaza and had his hearing tested. Actually prior to that we consulted a very famous ENT doctor at Gleneagles and he said nothing wrong... just wax in his ears.
thanks for pointing out a very crucial point.
the people at NUH recommend us for a hearing test before we begin speech therapy. tests revealed that his left ear was partially block. we went to a GP to get the ear wax removed. -
mumof3kids:
But, now, my FIL is really a problem too, when my son is crying or refuse to go to school, he keep on complaining the school, and now, I say I am going to withdraw him from this school, he stop me at angry tune!! He said I am forcing my son, keep on pushing him to new environment and frighten him...OMG, this is my only son, I love him so much,
Forget about your FIL, do not be distracted, do what is best for your boy (but I can see your 1st & 3rd are girls so perhaps your FIL more kan cheong for his grandson). Like what Eason Magpies shared, go to kindy to be abuse? Better stay at home! Get help from your hubby if possible to talk to your FIL. Not easy to find a small pre-school with low enrolment and with supportive teachers but you must try. Take care mummy of 3!
:grphug: -
Hi, really so happy that I still managed to get supports and sharing here.. :love:
has talk to my hubby, when he talk to FIL, then both father and son tend to quarrel..So, I keep quiet now. I have a talk with son's form teacher yesterday. She said they are not treated my son as transparent, but just that my son should have the discipline where other kids can go in by themselves, my son have to do the same. She told me actually my son has changed, he did enjoy himself in the class , during music lesson, story telling,....etc. she said my son just has the problem to get into the gate of school. after that, he is all right.. except he will beat his friends sometimes when he is angry..for this, I must say sorry & admit..yes, he is..at home too, when he is angry or cant get things that he wants, or his things been snatched by the younger sister, he will beat her, or even scratch her cheek.. I do assured the form teacher that I has registered my son for occupational therapies, psychology therapies, languages & speech therapies...
yes, like you all mentioned, he is referred to have a hearing test at ENT @ KKH, so far, no calls to us..shd be all right as they mentioned they will contact us if the result shows my son have hearing problem.. ..since the term is finishing, and the school actually has so many days off due to K2 Graduation, so, I let my son to stay, meanwhile I need to source out kiddy with caring teachers nearby, as I have 3 kids, cant be able to travel here & there. moreover, my eldest will be in P1 next yr.youngest will go to Pre-Nursery at the same school of my son if I did not withdraw them.. :?
any recommendation??? -
Which area are you at? Can PM me
If suitable, can recommend a school to you
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