In-law problems?

[angela]

Last Tuesday was my birthday so my husband got a chalet to celebrate for me and invited both sides of family. He thought that chalet would be big enough to have more people.


When my parents came to chalet, my FIL still quite friendly, still talked to my parents but my MIL just gave a cold shoulder. When my mum greeted her, she no responded. I was very angry but just kept quiet.

During bbq session, when my hb cooked some food for her, she could tell him that she did not like to eat. She just ate her precious daughter’s fried mee hoon. I asked my mum to cook some curry chicken, my FIL said that it was very spicy and nice but my MIL did not eat any. So what is she doing? My mum knew that she treated me badly but she should not treat my parents like that mah. My parents did not owe her anything. :x

Even when they sang birthday song and cut the cake, she also did not eat. When she saw her precious daughter came to the chalet together with her grandchildren, she would play with them and went out with them. As if my hb is not her son and my gal is not her granddaughter. Really wanted to scold her but my hb always asks me to tahan her. :x

Even my SIL also like that. They came to the chalet like the queen. We must serve them. We never expect to ask them to share the bill of the chalet or food but at least dun act like my MIL, like queen. I was busy preparing the food for the guests, then my baby gal cried for milk. Neither of them willing to feed her. No one to feed her, carry her for what. So angry that I carried my gal to my mum to feed her.

Many of my friends told me that so good can stay with MIL. What so good abt it. She did not help me to look after my gals. After the chalet, my baby gal not feeling well, me and my hb felt so guilty for not able to look after her as me worked quite late these few days and my hb not able to bring both gals home so have to leave the baby gal with my mum. If only, my MIL willing to look after my baby gal, we can look after her when we back home.

MIL not working at all, just stay at home watching tv but everyday gives u ‘black face’. Dunno what wrong with her.

[buds]

tracytmks:

....... should understand that working mum had a tired day after work MIL yesterday like act as if i not around like that hack care the 2 kids they fight she oso bo chap.

My mumsie has never worked a day in her life... so we never could \"really\"
blame her for not understanding the role of a working mom... she doesn't know the
workload... the politics we hafta deal with... the boss' expectations... (etc)

Has your MIL worked before?

As for the non-intervention when the children are fighting, it could be that
she may think as the mother, you have more right over your children to
scold them or attend to them since you are around... you know... in case
if she disciplines them, you may not be happy with how she does it?

tracytmks:

my 2 kids in the room want to sleep have to asked her help me look after them so i can hang my working clothes. :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

In my case, my MIL was never tasked to look after my children. Even if
she offered, i would not want it. Even when i was working i never asked
her to help me out with my children, my chores or the cooking. I settle
my chores after the children go to bed like airing the work clothes and
all the uniforms plus prepare the following day's lunch & dinner ingredients.

tracytmks:

....... asked her look after them in the room she don't even want to go inside my room she stand inside her room what is this men..... %$@#...xaxcb%$##@ :frustrated:

Did you and your husband have an arrangement with her for her to be
in-charge of the house and the children while you both work?

[jonyfords09]

I am a bit deaf in one ear million, sometimes she would speak means "shouting." In addition, she is not the type who’s aunt got a lot of things (my mom), I’m not special "communication" and therefore ultimately did not tell each other. Look on the bright side, because we can not communicate, and there may be little conflict.

[tracytmks]

she really a good actress or should i say is hypocrite. when hubby around act like looking after the kids when he is not at home she will bo chap isn’t this acting. :x :x luckily my son is not taken care by her day time, if yes i think will sure go siao one day…


she volunteered to look after my elder gal when i was pregnant. when my 2nd child is out we discuss and decided to let nanny take care of him which i think is good cause my gal at home doing nothing after her nursery class, so she didn’t really learnt much at all compare to my son taken care by my nanny.

since we are all staying in the same house why must she differentiate the things so clearly obviously she is not treating me like DIL in the house. see already very "pu hui"…

[janet88]

Hi angela,

If hubby gets a chalet to celebrate my birthday, NO WAY am I going to let him invite his side...where got fun to have to put up with his mother's EMPRESS DOWAGER ways ??
In my opinion, if hubby wants to celebrate my birthday and make me happy, bring me out for a meal.

I don't understand what's so good about staying with in-laws...there's no freedom of anything.

[angela]

janet_lee88:

Hi angela,

If hubby gets a chalet to celebrate my birthday, NO WAY am I going to let him invite his side...where got fun to have to put up with his mother's EMPRESS DOWAGER ways ??
In my opinion, if hubby wants to celebrate my birthday and make me happy, bring me out for a meal.

I don't understand what's so good about staying with in-laws...there's no freedom of anything.

Hi Janet_lee88,

No choice as my in-laws no house so they have to stay with us.

My hb is a fulfil son so he will try to please his family and he always organises this kind of gathering.

[auntieM]

janet_lee88:

Hi angela,

If hubby gets a chalet to celebrate my birthday, NO WAY am I going to let him invite his side...where got fun to have to put up with his mother's EMPRESS DOWAGER ways ??
In my opinion, if hubby wants to celebrate my birthday and make me happy, bring me out for a meal.

I don't understand what's so good about staying with in-laws...there's no freedom of anything.

janet_lee88, reminds me of my birthday dinner few years back.. MIL ordered her youngest son's favourite dishes for him :x :x :x

[kittybank]

Many years back, my MIL come to my 1300 sf HDB flat and pretend not knowing where the toilet is, made me bring her to the toilet. Must I put signages in the house :? They just know how to act pitiful.

[DesertWind]

wormy:

Many years back, my MIL come to my 1300 sf HDB flat and pretend not knowing where the toilet is, made me bring her to the toilet. Must I put signages in the house :? They just know how to act pitiful.

Talking about acting. I think most MILs watch too much drama on TV, be it Chinese drama, Taiwanese drama, Korean drama or Indian drama! After all the drama watching they act it out in real life! Sometimes it is funny to see. After I told my SIL that my MIL is quite dramatic, she went to feedback to MIL! :shock: My MIL was quite hurt but after that, the acting stopped.... :lol:

[janet88]

Hi wormy,

Wah ! Your flat must have been so big that the old lady cannot find the toilet. :rotflmao: Either that, you must have done a great job hiding the toilets. If she isn't invited over often, no need to put up signages.

After that one time hubby told his parents to come over, I don't have to put up with it anymore. All those unnecessary & uncalled for comments about the powder coated sliding doors in my house...individual glass panels are difficult to clean blah blah blah, so many windows blah blah blah.