How to tell if a child is gifted?
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2ppaamm:
tamarind, how do we handle the social and behavioral issues if homeschooled? I'm confident of the academic part but not the social skills part.[/quote]I remember that you have 4 kids right ? Why should there be any problem with the development of social skills ?
I don't have similar issues, but I believe that gifted kids do not need to be taught by teachers in school, they are fully capable of learning on their own. In fact, it will be much more beneficial to them if they are given the freedom to learn anything that they want to. I am curious about whether you thought about just keeping him at home instead of sending him to any school ? I don't see why MOE will not approve of you homeschooling him given his issues in school.tamarind:
[quote=\"2ppaamm\"]
Thanks, will try, but MOE is also suggesting looking at Pathlight.
In fact, my younger boy, who is of average learning ability, is not attending any kindergarten this year due to his health problems. My mother and my maid take care of him at home. He interacts with my P1 girl, and that already gives him ample opportunity to practice his social skills. He needs to learn to share with her and most of the time they play very well together. My P1 girl is very mature for her age, and it is good for my younger boy to learn what is good behaviour from her. In fact, I was very unhappy with all the bad behaviour that he picked up while in kindergarten. I am very happy with him now that he is at home most of the time. He spends a lot of time reading children's encyclopedia and I am amazed at the amount of knowledge that he has learned on his own. No kindergarten or enrichment class could have achieved the same results. He attends a total of 4 hours of enrichment classes every week, and he has no problem with other kids, except that he complains that the class is too boring because both his English and Chinese standards are already quite advance for his age due to the fact that I taught him at home.
In fact, I believe that it is best for kids to learn social skills by interacting with older kids, or even adults. -
For AS kids, there is always an issue with social skills. And it's NOT because they lack the EQ skills or are ill-mannered or are ill-brought up by their parents. It's just how they are wired.
For neuro-typical (NT) kids, communication and social skills come naturally to them. They just know what to do or not do; say or not say. But for AS kids, they have to be taught social skills. They see things and think differently from the NTs. As such, they are often misunderstood. They think logically and sometimes what they say might come across as blunt or hurtful. But AS kids don't realise that because they are just speaking their minds and they have no intention to hurt or spite the other person. It's just not in their nature.
This is where intervention comes in useful - call it social skills or friendship class - these classes/sessions teach the AS kids how to communicate and make friends. It teaches them how to take perspectives of others and that most times, the world is not what it seems.
In turn, it is very important that parents of NT kids teach their children that every child is different. That when someone is different, it does not mean that this person is bad or to be avoided. It just means that we need to have a little more patience, tolerance and understanding when dealing with others who are a little more unique than us. -
schweppes:
Schweppes, I know my son needs an intervention class, but the psychologists I went to all had problems dealing with the 2e part. AS, they can deal, but 2e, many are completely lost as they could not tell if it was the AS part playing up or the gifted part playing up. In and out of social classes 4 times.For AS kids, there is always an issue with social skills. And it's NOT because they lack the EQ skills or are ill-mannered or are ill-brought up by their parents. It's just how they are wired.
For neuro-typical (NT) kids, communication and social skills come naturally to them. They just know what to do or not do; say or not say. But for AS kids, they have to be taught social skills. They see things and think differently from the NTs. As such, they are often misunderstood. They think logically and sometimes what they say might come across as blunt or hurtful. But AS kids don't realise that because they are just speaking their minds and they have no intention to hurt or spite the other person. It's just not in their nature.
This is where intervention comes in useful - call it social skills or friendship class - these classes/sessions teach the AS kids how to communicate and make friends. It teaches them how to take perspectives of others and that most times, the world is not what it seems.
In turn, it is very important that parents of NT kids teach their children that every child is different. That when someone is different, it does not mean that this person is bad or to be avoided. It just means that we need to have a little more patience, tolerance and understanding when dealing with others who are a little more unique than us.
Do you know of any social class / psychologists who have successfully helped 2e children? I understand there just so few 2e kids in Singapore. -
2ppaamm, my heart goes out to you.
I’m not sure if it’s MOE who is suggesting that you send your ds to Pathlight or it’s really the school. My take is that the school wants to "wash their hands off" and taking the easy way out by "persuading" u to send your ds away.
Personally, I feel that Pathlight is NOT the direction for your son. He needs to be in an environment that can challenge him and motivate him further. And from your sharing about your son’s abilities and capabilities, I’m not sure that Pathlight is the right choice for your son.
The teachers/school probably suggested Pathlight because it is a school for high functioning AS kids. And because your child is labelled AS, they automatically associate your son as more suited for Pathlight. But these teachers won’t know any better.
Sure, I can understand that the school is also accountable to its other stakeholders - students, parents, teachers. But sometimes, I wish the system and people involved are a little more sympathetic. I don’t expect and ask for exceptions or that my child be accorded with preferential treatment. But it will help if the people are more tolerant and understanding. That would be a perfect world.
But because we are not living in a perfect world, we try to help our child cope and learn to work with the system. It’s about teaching our kids (and even ourselves) coping strategies - from academic to social skills to communication skills.
It’s very important to work with the teachers and school. If the school is unforgiving, then this is not the right school for your child. Will PM u shortly on a sch that u may consider sending your son too.
I really wish u all the best. -
2ppaamm:
Just PM u :hugs:
Do you know of any social class / psychologists who have successfully helped 2e children? I understand there just so few 2e kids in Singapore. -
schweppes:
Thanks! :hugs: I have written to the psychologist. I hope to be able to find a 2e psychologist in Singapore.
Just PM u :hugs:2ppaamm:
Do you know of any social class / psychologists who have successfully helped 2e children? I understand there just so few 2e kids in Singapore. -
tamarind:
I remember that you have 4 kids right ? Why should there be any problem with the development of social skills ?
tamarind, how do we handle the social and behavioral issues if homeschooled? I'm confident of the academic part but not the social skills part.2ppaamm:
[quote=\"tamarind\"]
I don't have similar issues, but I believe that gifted kids do not need to be taught by teachers in school, they are fully capable of learning on their own. In fact, it will be much more beneficial to them if they are given the freedom to learn anything that they want to. I am curious about whether you thought about just keeping him at home instead of sending him to any school ? I don't see why MOE will not approve of you homeschooling him given his issues in school.
In fact, my younger boy, who is of average learning ability, is not attending any kindergarten this year due to his health problems. My mother and my maid take care of him at home. He interacts with my P1 girl, and that already gives him ample opportunity to practice his social skills. He needs to learn to share with her and most of the time they play very well together. My P1 girl is very mature for her age, and it is good for my younger boy to learn what is good behaviour from her. In fact, I was very unhappy with all the bad behaviour that he picked up while in kindergarten. I am very happy with him now that he is at home most of the time. He spends a lot of time reading children's encyclopedia and I am amazed at the amount of knowledge that he has learned on his own. No kindergarten or enrichment class could have achieved the same results. He attends a total of 4 hours of enrichment classes every week, and he has no problem with other kids, except that he complains that the class is too boring because both his English and Chinese standards are already quite advance for his age due to the fact that I taught him at home.
In fact, I believe that it is best for kids to learn social skills by interacting with older kids, or even adults.[/quote]Tamarind, I'm definitely going to look into homeschooling more seriously the next few weeks and drafting out a new curriculum for him. He was homeschooled in his pre-school years as well. I also homeschooled DD2 for a year. I'll also need to find a social class for him.
As mothers, like I told DH just now, it always falls back on our laps. If no school wants him, the home wants him. -
2ppaamm,
I cannot believe that MOE suggested Pathlight. Did they give any convincing reason?
Both school and homeschooling are double edged swords, but in the case of homeschooling, you have much more control over the situation. Homeschooling is very much what you make of it. It can be a lot of work for the parents, but you can then tailor it to your child’s needs, both academically and socially. When I took my son out for one year, I could watch him very closely both at play and work, and this gives me a much better understanding of what he needed. We spent a lot of time discussing social situations, teaching him to monitor his own feelings and physical state, and also stopping poor behavior immediately. When they are in school, the parent has no idea what is going on, and most of the time the teachers can’t be bothered, and the sensitive black-and- white child end up angry and confused.
There have been changes made to the official policies for homeschooling, and from this year on, those who want to homeschooling for medical reason will be advised to apply for EXEMPTION from national education, instead of permission to homeschooling. So you can actually apply for exemption and not worry about PSLE benchmark etc. -
Wow! This is indeed good info for me. I’m going going to explore and plan a little differently since psle can be exempted. Thank you so Lu h for this info. I’m going to spend the next few weeks exploring and finding new avenues and update you folks on this front. Hopefully someone else in the same plight will benefit from my experience one day.
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2ppaamm:
Wow! This is indeed good info for me. I'm going going to explore and plan a little differently since psle can be exempted. Thank you so Lu h for this info. I'm going to spend the next few weeks exploring and finding new avenues and update you folks on this front. Hopefully someone else in the same plight will benefit from my experience one day.
Want to wish you all the best. :hugs:
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