How to improve popularity?

[tamarind]

sleepy:

How to improve popularity? To some, it seems so natural, always surrounded by friends.


My dd was telling me about an extremely popular girl in her class. The whole group of girls followed her to recess. Everyone likes to hang around that girl.

My dd is very amazed and asked me why would someone be so popular?
This kind of question totally floored me. I'm equally clueless.

My dd is helpful and kindhearted but she can appear to be quite bossy at times even though her intention is utterly good.

I've been telling her to be humble. Besides this, any other hot tips on how to improve popularity?

Actually, when in school, it is best not to be popular.

A child who is too popular will always be \"disturbed\" by friends, and may be easily distracted from studying. She will probably spend more time worrying about how she looks and how she walks, and less than thinking about her studies.

I feel that so long as the child has a few good friends, then it is good enough. She does not have to be the most popular girl in school.

[Nebbermind]

But almost everyone wants to be popular…it’s human nature…just like we crave for long life…ya?

[csc]

Nebbermind:

But almost everyone wants to be popular...it's human nature...just like we crave for long life...ya?

errr..i don't think so lah...my family of 4 hate to be in the lime light. We feel most comfortable when the attention is not on us

But that does not mean we do not have friends. All of us have friends we can rely upon for help and support and to have fun and laughter with.

I agree with Tamarind that having a few good friends is in a way better than popularity. I encourage my children to build good friendships among their peers. They must be good friends themselves first. Seek true friendships , rather than popularity.

The most popular may not have any true friends after all...We can think of many celebrities who belong to this category such as MJ.

[csc]

Some tips for making friends:


* Be approachable
Smile always and make eye contact and listen attentively. Being a good listener is more important than being a talker. Taking an interest in others is a more effective approach than attempts to make others interested in you. Don’t disagree or argue or when you enter into a conversation. Be friendly and courteous with everyone in the group. In this way, you can gain the reputation of being good-natured and fun to be around.

* Follow through
If you exchange phone numbers or email addresses with someone, take the initiative and call. Invite that person to do something with you, and even offer for another friend to come along. My daughter offered a lift to some friends when her father came to pick her up after school. And one of her new friends invited her to play a game online last night. She also took the initiative to call one new gal about homework matters.
Be open to meeting as many new people as possible. Eventually, some of those new acquaintances will transform into good friends due to mutual attraction and common interests.

* Behave in a positive manner
Follow the old but wise advice , “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all.” Make sure all your comments are complimentary and positive. However, don’t flatter. Don’t criticise others and point out their shortcomings. Don’t complain.
People enjoy being around encouraging and friendly companions. Make sure you are someone others would enjoy spending time with.

* Take the initiative
To make new friends, someone has to make the first move. Do not be passive. Be proactive. Let that someone be YOU.
Making new friends is sometimes hard work. However if you make the effort, the reward is tremendous.

Once you have established new friendships, make sure you are a good friend yourself. Be loyal and trustworthy. Keep confidences, be supportive, be generous and be compassionate.

Here’s wishing that our children will make time to build true friendships amidst their busy schedule. This is so that their lives may be enriched and souls nourished. I pray that our children will have a remarkable journey ahead with their friends.

“A friend is a gift you give yourself.” Robert Louis Stevenson

“A friend loveth at all times.” Proverbs 17:17

\"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only True friends leave good footprints in your heart\" - ELeanor Roosevelt



Adapted from Tips on Making New Friends by Carol Gioia.

[Nebbermind]

csc:

errr..i don't think so lah...my family of 4 hate to be in the lime light. We feel most comfortable when the attention is not on us


But that does not mean we do not have friends. All of us have friends we can rely upon for help and support and to have fun and laughter with.

I agree with Tamarind that having a few good friends is in a way better than popularity. I encourage my children to build good friendships among their peers. They must be good friends themselves first. Seek true friendships , rather than popularity.

The most popular may not have any true friends after all...We can think of many celebrities who belong to this category such as MJ.

Think we are not looking at the same thing here....I'm talking abt being well-liked...not famous.

Being well-liked and getting acceptance from people around ...do'n't we rather have that?

[snowman.022851697]

[quote]Don’t criticise others and point out their shortcomings.[/quote]
What about constructive criticism?

[sleepy]

Oops, perhaps the word 'popular' is misleading. I don't mean becoming 校花 kind of popularity.


Referring to how to be more well-liked by classmates, how to improve 人气 with classmates, how to build friendship... along this line

Thanks for sharing

[mrswongtuition]

Try reading \"Best of Friends - How to help your child make friends with confidence\" by Hilary Pereira. Good book explaining how kids think/feel and how parents can help (comes with examples and numerous suggestion). Also highlights how to be a great friend, but not a bullied friend.

[northernstar]

i like csc's 2nd post. i think it is a gd advice to everyone regardless of age. to be popular, a neat and clean outlook is important to create a good impression as well hope all your children can find true friends in their lives.

[jasmineong]

mrswongtuition:

Try reading \"Best of Friends - How to help your child make friends with confidence\" by Hilary Pereira. Good book explaining how kids think/feel and how parents can help (comes with examples and numerous suggestion). Also highlights how to be a great friend, but not a bullied friend.

Yes, I think reading books like that would help a lot. In order to have friends, I think we can teach our kids how to be a friend, to give in a conversation, not to be the first to always talk about themselves, to listen and also to encourage their friends sometimes by giving a card or remembering the friend's birthdays. Sometimes, I do role play with my kids to teach them this and also to teach them how to make interesting small talk. One of my kid can be a little socially awkward and this helps him to break the ice. Just my 2 cents worth to add to this topic