Is it necessary to get a new daddy for my son?

[toddles]

buds:

toddles:

I suppose that's cos the women usually has custody of the children, and it comes together in a package, whilst for the man who re-marries, he is not 'saddled' with the children and thus can be looked upon like a single man....

Somewhat convenient duncha think, toddles? :roll:

yeah, and it's usually the men who are heartless enough to abandon their kids for another woman... ok shall not generalise too much... but just saw some examples recently.

[toddles]

Liz_Ryan:

toddles:

I suppose that's cos the women usually has custody of the children, and it comes together in a package, whilst for the man who re-marries, he is not 'saddled' with the children and thus can be looked upon like a single man....

If I ever come across a man, who is separated, and having custody of his kids, and is taking very good care of them..... I'd consider marrying a man like tis......

yeah definitely. it really says something about the man.

[24hr-mum]

but expect ‘sibling’ rivalry, plus u wld hv extra kids to take care - u think u can accept other pple’s children??


plus, got to find out why the man cant keep his first marriage…for a responsible man should view marriage as something to last ‘till death do us apart’

[Liz_Ryan]

24hr-mum:

but expect 'sibling' rivalry, plus u wld hv extra kids to take care - u think u can accept other pple's children??


plus, got to find out why the man cant keep his first marriage....for a responsible man should view marriage as something to last 'till death do us apart'

basically, I'm a child-friendly person, I believe I should be able to accept others' kids and treat them well... Of coz, I can't possibly love them e way I love my own.... Love is matters of the heart, afterall...... But I'll still love them, though...

why the man can't keep his first marriage?.... hmmm... as i've always mentioned, no point harping on the past, when we should be working on the present and the future instead...

should we hv planned so well, and things still turn bitter some day, i guess it's just all fated......

[24hr-mum]

maybe can see it this way, if a man has chosen a woman as his wife, its meant to be a lifetime responsibility, for better or for worse (that is what true love is). so the ability to keep a marriage shows that the man is a responsible man. its like we have a child, no matter how naughty our child is, or what wrong the child has done, we are still his parent(s) and wont give up the child nor ‘divorce’ the child becos we know its a lifetime responsibility to care for the child at least till he or she is grown up. if a child has gone astray we as parents naturally try to keep the child and think of ways to make him come back to us. it will be gd to have the same value system for the spouse. of cos in reality there are difficulties.


basically its a perception what marriage means.

i m just afraid the same issue or trait with the partner that caused the first separation will recur.

[Liz_Ryan]

24hr-mum:

plus, got to find out why the man cant keep his first marriage....for a responsible man should view marriage as something to last 'till death do us apart'

personally, i feel this \"till death do us part\" thingy is just a figure of speech, it makes a good reading line.....

but to imply in our lives?... i don't think so....

yea, of coz we'd do our best to keep a relationship, but at times when it's a one-sided affair, it'll be tiring....

kids are different... being parents, we are blessed with LOVE for our kids....

keyword here is LOVE........ the love for our kids do not die out....

same thing goes to relationship.....

base on my personal experience, my kid's dad & I were together for years, though both of us have our own flaws in many ways....

wat kept us together for years? it's LOVE......

after a while, our love seemed to fade..... soon die......

so here i am, alone

but no hard feelings..... i'll live my life with my kid, with those beautiful memories i have of his dad...... being the first man i've gotten so close with, deep down in my heart, he'll always be there........

[mslin]

did you let your son meets his daddy after giving brith to him? or anyone still letting the kids meet their daddy after separation? :roll:

[Liz_Ryan]

mslin:

did you let your son meets his daddy after giving brith to him? or anyone still letting the kids meet their daddy after separation? :roll:

we're together till my boy was nearly 3....

but he did not make any attempt to see the boy since the day he left....

maybe because we had an ugly break-up

but i do not want my boy to grow up with hatred in his heart, and he is still too young for me to expalin things to....

so all i told him is that his dad is out working & won't be coming back

till today, he still speaks fondly of his dad

and when others ask, he'll just say his dad has gone to work

it touched my heart when i met-up wit his class teacher one day

she told me the kids were asked to draw a family potrait

knowing his situation, she walked quietly to my son and told \"ryan, as for u, u can draw a picture of u & your mom ok\"

my boy has these big, playful eyes which will twinkle whenever he smiles

with much delight he answered the teacher \"no teacher, i have daddy, u noe.... i want to draw my daddy oso....\"

today, we have totally lost contact with his dad

but almost everyday i hear him mentioning \"daddy\" in our conversation

kids are so beautiful and they are such innocent beings

guess my son is the only reason why i'm living today

[mslin]

i m sure.. children is always a angel in mum's eyes..



after the father left, did he give you any help in financial tho you are able to provide everything yourself?

[24hr-mum]

love is not just a feeling. its an action (that speaks).

action = responsibility, whether or not the feelings are still there.

i recall that MM Lee ever said something like the westerners marry the woman they love; the Chinese love the woman they marry. he tries to do both.

just food for thought.