How to tell if a child is gifted?

[Rio]

Sorry I mean House Rules.

[comfy]

2ppaamm:

Hi smurf, I agree with Sun that 2-3 times a week is fine. He is only 5.5. Have you tried these:

1. Give him a schedule to practise violin, make sure you follow, and he follows.
2. Offer him an incentive when he does practice, does not matter how long or how often.
3. Give him some targets.
4. Don't nag? The more you do that, the more he'll dread the practice. If you really have to, restrict yourself to ONE minute, and don't ever repeat what you've said before. Tough right? :lol: By nature, I don't really like to nag, but I tell stories to make my point. I try to be creative, but nowadays, my children said it is just a creative way of nagging, so now I have to find other means...:?
5. Offer lots of positive feedback, no matter what the music sounds like.
6. Break out the practice sessions into small chunks of 10 minutes or 5 minutes each and increase that slowly.
7. Don't tell him what is the right way to practice, unless the teacher specifically tell you to watch out for some thing. Having one music teacher is enough. Let him be. He might take a little longer but he'll be independent earlier.

I've used many of the above, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. A gift is a gift, it doesn't go away, so if he misses one or two days a week, I think it is fine. We adjust our expectations accordingly, I guess.

Key thing is, he should not lose interest by being pushed too far. A diamond is a diamond, it is a matter of time it will shine if we keep polishing it.

I really like your sharing and I am going to cut this pointers and paste it in my notebk/wall else how to remember. Especially the diamond part, going to tell my dd that (during pracitsing time, when it get tough) that she is going to be beautiful and shining diamond if she keeps on practising/polishing it.This is

[joylly]

Hie 2ppaamm


U signed a contract with yr boy when he was 7.5 yrs old ! ! !

For learning his piano and go thru til Grade 8 !

WOW ! I really paifu yr \"guts\". Whats the consequences if yr boy break the contract ? Or that You've already foresee that he will not break the contract ? What kinda weak spot have u got yr hands over him ? ha ha ha aa

I'm asking cause my boy is finishing his Yamaha JXC very very soon ! :celebrate: In fact his Yamaha grade 9 exam will be next Tuesday !

Yea, I'd recently started him on his piano too, acting as a transitory phase for him, while at same time helping him with his music theory and practical. Sure it does helps !

However, recently just last week he told me he wanted to stop learning his music cause he hates exam ! Of course, thats' not a valid reason !

For the past 4 yrs while in Yamaha he had complains, tc etc and wanted to stop his class. But there again after some persuasion and me speaking with him, he continued. :roll:

So yr post about the contract for the piano learning got my interest ! ha ha aha a really no offence here, but what kinda attitude and mentlity do u have when u thought of this idea ?

I wonder whether it'll work for my dear son or not ! :?

And today he told me that he wanted to continue cause he has passion in music and he has talent in it, and yes, actually he loves and enjoy music ! :love: But in a way thats more of a trying to convince himself ? :lol:

So now the mummy, me here is asking myself and praying about it.
I am not able to read his mind nor know what he's thinking ... the answer that he's giving me is exactly the reason that I gave him !

So at the end of the day, what do i want ? I want him to continue learning his music cause he really is good in it, in all the musicalities .

Should i let him decide what he whats or do we the parents guide him in his potential ?

[2ppaamm]

Hi Joylly,


This contractual thing... not sure what kind of mentality I have in mind when I thought about it 9 years ago. Just that I saw how my nephew who is very talented, would give up everything he learns half way. I saw my own sister, being very talented, but also gave up everything half-way and I didn't like that.

I am a bit more disciplined rather than talented. When I start learning something, I want to achieve something before I quit, no matter how difficult it gets along the way. So this is the spirit I wanted to inculcate in my children. It does not matter if you do not want to start, but if you do, then you must see it to finish. To me, to finish means to get Grade 8 done. I think that's quite clear in this house.

What kind of effect? I'm not very sure. My oldest boy still plays the piano everyday, though he has finished 2 diplomas two years ago. I don't know what he is playing, though. He will compose some strange noises in complete dissonance. But it is ok, as long as he likes it.

During the pursuit of fulfilling his contract, it got difficult some times, and mostly because of his very demanding teacher. We then switched to a more lenient teacher who is good at handling kids who are different. He has perfect pitch and I'd call it 'perfect rhythm'. He can tell you how many beats in a minute when listening to a piece of music. Kind of strange... The teacher adds on to his different way of looking at music (she does not say, \"faster\" or \"slower\" because that confuses him, she tells him exactly how many beats she wants in a minute).

There were also times he put in 11 solid hours of practice a day because he had an exam and he wanted to do well. And he did pretty well.

After his diplomas, he wanted to continue for the third but I felt it was not necessary, because he was so occupied with things. Sometimes, he tells me he hates the piano. Sometimes, he tells me the piano is so beautiful. When he wanted to buy a guitar, I decided not to give him a contract because he is already so big. Surprisingly, he learnt how to play it (pretty well!) through Youtube. I guess the discipline from 7.5 years old did help!

Quite the same for the rest of the 3 who have finished grade 8, but the last one is pretty difficult. Maybe being the last child, I'm a whole lot less disciplined myself, and I'm also a lot lazier and busier... Even the piano teacher noticed that!

I guess if we expect our children to be disciplined, we have to show them how to be. And yes, if exam is a problem, then he should skip the exams and do it later. My youngest son signed up for an exam this year but skipped it because I felt it gave him too much anxiety. We decided to slow down a bit. Hope this is of help to your journey!

[joylly]

Hie 2ppaamm


Thank you for sharing with me. It is indeed very helpful and has given me an idea of what \" is to come \".

The one thing that caught my heart is the part where u say a few of relatives starts and give up halfway, and for you discipline is an important thing. To start and to finish it - Grade 8. Yes, there will be times when faced with some difficulties. I think you're really great !

In fact I have also heard of people who gave up while in Grade 5, cause its really not easy. Most people do ! Give up ! It's a real waste after having spent so long to go thru the the initial grades.

How long does yr son takes to finish Grade 8 ?

Truthfully speaking I'm still searching for the \"truth\" out there of children learning music. Ppl who stops, ppl who starts and end ( like you ) and also stories of piano teachers throwing the music pieces on the floor and like my son's present Yamaha teacher, she scolds the class every Friday ! sigh ..... even though she dont scold my son, but its all the negative vibes he receives as a bystander for the last 2 yrs ! sigh ......

You could say I'm a bit apprehensive whether my son will finish til Grade 8, even though i want him to. And also whether he could handle the exams + his own school exams when he's in P3 - P6.

[joylly]

The truth is, my son, learns his music pieces very fast and he does understand all the nuances of the music. The no. of beats in a bar, the cadences and accompaniments, he composes too ! All while doing his Yamaha JMC and JXC !


However, his recent teacher told me otherwise ! That he dont have any natural rhythms in him etc etc etc …

Its really very disheartening …

[2ppaamm]

joylly:

In fact I have also heard of people who gave up while in Grade 5, cause its really not easy. Most people do ! Give up ! It's a real waste after having spent so long to go thru the the initial grades.

How long does yr son takes to finish Grade 8 ?

Truthfully speaking I'm still searching for the \"truth\" out there of children learning music. Ppl who stops, ppl who starts and end ( like you ) and also stories of piano teachers throwing the music pieces on the floor and like my son's present Yamaha teacher, she scolds the class every Friday ! sigh ..... even though she dont scold my son, but its all the negative vibes he receives as a bystander for the last 2 yrs ! sigh ......

You could say I'm a bit apprehensive whether my son will finish til Grade 8, even though i want him to. And also whether he could handle the exams + his own school exams when he's in P3 - P6.

Hi,

DS1 took 3.5 years from Grade 1 to 8. DD1 took 4 years, DD2 took 3 years, DS2 took 3 years. So it really depends. But amongst the 4, DS1 I think is the most natural, DD1 is the 'stonest' DD2 flows and loves music the most, DS2 is the most gifted generally. So, I guess they are all different. And, we did not skip any grade, they just did more than a grade a year.

Grade 5 is just a number, I don't really care, and no grade should be a road block. If there's one road block, it's in the mind, so we must make up our minds and just go for it. Nobody should set any artificial barrier. Some people tell me the hands will be too small, some say theory is the barrier. Hehe... I'm blind to all these things, I just don't tell the kids there's such a thing, I just keep telling them they can do it.

Grade 8 is no big deal. It is again just another number to me. But I set that as a contractual goal. It can be any grade. Point is, since we managed to find a good platform, I use it as a form of inculcating discipline and a sense of achievement for the kids. It is always wonderful to be the highest grade in primary school, be able to perform, and be known for something special. It serves a good boost for the self esteem, other than that, it really serves no other purpose.

If my teacher throws my kids' pieces on the floor, I'd probably walk out of the class immediately. I think it just doesn't make sense. How can a child learn under such stress and with so much anxiety? I know some really good teachers who are anxious for results, but sorry, that's not my cup of tea. I'd rather them have a long love affair with music, than to achieve short term goals. But if they can do well in exams, then I'd support that wholeheartedly, but it should not be a do-or-die thingy.

Should you bother whether the child can finish grade 8 or not? Why not set the goal together. If that's what he wants, guide him there. If that's not what he wants, then look for something that he wants. Won't the journey be a lot happier?

Just my 2 cents' worth. Again, I'm an old mother, so I'm a lot more relaxed when it comes to these things. :lol:

[phankao]

2ppaamm:

Grade 8 is no big deal. It is again just another number to me. :

Actually i find that real enjoyment and progress comes AFTER grade 8.

[2ppaamm]

phankao:

2ppaamm:

Grade 8 is no big deal. It is again just another number to me. :

Actually i find that real enjoyment and progress comes AFTER grade 8.

That's so true. Grade 8 is just a platform. After grade 8, it is not about obligation but about enjoyment. After grade 8, I did not bother to ask them to go for classes. So my son actually went and ask the teacher to teach him free-of-charge. I was paiseh, so decided to let him pursue the diploma. Diploma or not, after grade 8 is when you see if the years of hardwork has resulted to something or not.

Also, I find it strange why many students stop playing when exams are near, or stop completely when PSLE is around the corner. I thought music is a form of enjoyment... If daily commitment is required, then daily commitment is required regardless of exams. So therefore, homework or exams is never quite a thought in my mind. There's time for study, and a time for music, a time for sports and a time for relaxation. I guess balance and planning is what I hope to achieve with the kids.

[Chirunner]

sunshine05:

Or anyone has any idea to get the IQ test done? :roll:

You can go to a private psychologist to do the Weshchler WISC-IV test. Think it's about $400. I don't know what range of IQ qualifies as exceptionally gifted for MOE to allow early entry to P1, but I'm pretty sure it has to be at least 150. There's a psychologist at Kids Testing n Dyslexia who administers this test.