disappointment wif kids
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daddy2007:
I have an ex-colleague who spent thousands of dollars on classes for his daughter, he still has lots of complains. He does not teach his daughter at all.
I totally agree with this. We need to find the most appropriate method of teaching the child and they can learn very fast. Each child is really uniquetamarind:
Instead of sending to enrichment classes, parents should spend more time finding out what are the best methods to teach your kids. I believe that all kids love to learn by nature, but it is just that the teaching methods in the classes do not suit them.
So it is not a matter of how much money parents spend on their kids. We still have to spend time and effort to make sure that they are learning well. -
phankao:
I also hate noise.... though i hv 2 boys and a girl...it feels like I have a dozen of boys.janet_lee88:
...dad worked from morning to night, has no patience for us and scolded us when we make noise. .
I hate noise too - will get super frustrated when the house is noisy. Sadly, I have 3 boys!!!!!!!
Not forgetting DS1 will add in noise from his electric guitar. and Frankly if I am already v frustrated with them... the noise just adds to the frustration and the blood pressure... -
sleepy:
Don't think that way. Every child has a different character. Some kids may not be affectionate on the outside, but they do care about their parents, and they show it in subtle ways.
Being a SAHM, I felt being took for granted, especially by my dd1, no respect at times.
Whenever she 'abuses' me, treating me like her emotional sand bag, dh will reprimand her if caught her yelling or behaving rudely to me. If I were to tell her off, she will scream unfair, as if she's the victim.
It doesn't happen all the time, probably 30% occurrence but this is totally unacceptable behaviour in my opinion :x On her good behaviour days, I do praise her for speaking amicably to me.
Academically, she is fine, exceeded my expectations. However, I do not believe in reward system or give rewards pegged to exam results. My emphasis has been consistent since day 1 - character building. And fillial piety is top on my list
So in that aspect, yes, I do feel disappointment in my dd.....& myself, I must have failed in some way in upbringing her. The puzzling thing is I raised my dd2 in the exact same way & yet she idolises me and is very respectful. I don't understand what went wrong
I do not accept any rude behaviour towards me, or to my mother. When my kids were rude, I made them apologize and punish them immediately, like making them write \"I will not be rude\" 100 times. If they dare to yell, the punishment was even severe, no caning though, but something that they dreaded. Now both of my kids do not dare to be rude. They do argue with me sometimes, but they do it calmly and I am fine with that. -
MummyThreeStreams:
Final word of encouragement (and I don't mean to offend the FTWMs out there), know that your involvement in your child's life does make a difference to them. Maybe not in the way you expect it to. My mum gave up her job to look after us. Although she used to scream at me (same old story!) to do assessment book after assessment book, I am so much closer to her than to my Dad who was hardly home. I don't know if her screaming helped me do well in school, but her constant presence did draw me closer to her...(of course she didn't just yell at me to do work, she talked to me a lot too). I love being around her! Not so much with my Dad...
:goodpost: Mummy3Streams,
Thanks for sharing. -
MummyThreeStreams:
Final word of encouragement (and I don't mean to offend the FTWMs out there), know that your involvement in your child's life does make a difference to them.
hi mummythreestreams, what a great post! i think u've hit the spot that ultimately it is a personal choice for mothers who decide to stay home for the kids. there is no g'tee how the kids will turn out, or even how close the r/s will be eventually.
for myself, i am reminded to be thankful of the times when i'm with dd, be it, when i'm able to bake cookies with dd after her school hours or when i'm peacefully drying her hair after her shower. i m reminded that yes, i sure love to spend time with her
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sigh my 5yo boy is that type have nonsense everyday.
wake up dun want to brush teeth, dun want to go sch
if gv reward eg tv or toy, he will be gd boy sometimes by eating himsf faster and doing his work. stimes he will still complain ‘why gv me so much wk’ even if u offer reward
when go pple party, if i gv other kids a present that he likes eg lego, he will suck n ask me why i nvr buy for him tho he already has so much lego n cars alrdy,
when go shoppg alwaz ask me buy toys
always push limit to maximum
the reward system wil wk but if no reward, dont do wk. how? wait for my cane lor.
how to handle such boys -
24hr-mum:
Sounds very much like my 5 y.o.sigh my 5yo boy is that type have nonsense everyday.
wake up dun want to brush teeth, dun want to go sch
if gv reward eg tv or toy, he will be gd boy sometimes by eating himsf faster and doing his work. stimes he will still complain 'why gv me so much wk' even if u offer reward
when go pple party, if i gv other kids a present that he likes eg lego, he will suck n ask me why i nvr buy for him tho he already has so much lego n cars alrdy,
when go shoppg alwaz ask me buy toys
always push limit to maximum
the reward system wil wk but if no reward, dont do wk. how? wait for my cane lor.
how to handle such boys
At that age they will certainly push boundaries. Just set them and be firm, and you will have a better time as they mature. Some patience, they will grow up, and take heart, this is how 5 y.o. behave. -
24hr-mum:
hmm, which 5 year old is not like that? many r stil pretty self-centred n lazy, unless family circumstances force them to grow up quickly n take on big brotherly/sisterly responsibilities. i wil explain the facts, cos ultimately they have to grow up n accept it as the way of life. whether they truly accept it depends on their maturity level. if they can - good. if not, its good that know now and learn to accept it, since they wil have to sooner or later.sigh my 5yo boy is that type have nonsense everyday.
wake up dun want to brush teeth, dun want to go sch
if gv reward eg tv or toy, he will be gd boy sometimes by eating himsf faster and doing his work. stimes he will still complain 'why gv me so much wk' even if u offer reward
when go pple party, if i gv other kids a present that he likes eg lego, he will suck n ask me why i nvr buy for him tho he already has so much lego n cars alrdy,
when go shoppg alwaz ask me buy toys
always push limit to maximum
the reward system wil wk but if no reward, dont do wk. how? wait for my cane lor.
how to handle such boys
reward system is good under certain circumstances, but i do not like to overly depend on it. eventually, kids have to find intrinsic motivation to egg themselves on for future endeavours. the ultimate reward is their success in future, i guess. i explain to dd if she does not do her work n learn now, she may struggle in future when she goes to school. more imptly, she herself enjoys learning so it was easy to convince her. having said that, it does not mean i do not need to remind her or encourage her or do the work with her. at this age, i feel they stil need us to do these things alongside them. -
not all 5yo boys like mine right?
He is be 6yo in March, still hvnt mature. really worry for him when he goes p1. maybe he is middle child, even worse. but my 3yo (girl) more mature than him leh.
only tv, toys, drawing of cars n trains or movie characters, is what he likes n no need to push. i cant see whr he got any talent or not, except that he can draw thomas train or lightning mcqueen cars just by lookg at the object. -
Someone mentioned reward system. But I realise for a lot of us, the reward system has become a bribery system. It is no longer a scenario of a child performing well and the parent giving him a treat for the good result. But more of the child negotiating to do well only if they are given something.
I try hard not to fall into that trap. Each time DD comes to me and ask me if she can have something if she does well or performs some task, I will tell her completing the task and doing well is her responsibility. If she does very well, naturally we will reward her but we shall not discuss the rewards now, only after the results. And so far, her rewards are more like little treats like ice-cream buffet, outings and activities rather then material stuff.
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