Asian Mums are more SUPERIOR?

[cnimed]

She makes me embarrassed to be a Chinese and a mother. The first half is totally cringe worthy. There are some good points about hard work and self esteem but they are lost in the fanatical drilling.

[phankao]

deminc:

She makes me embarrassed to be a Chinese and a mother. The first half is totally cringe worthy. There are some good points about hard work and self esteem but they are lost in the fanatical drilling.

Am ok with the idea in-principle, but er ... need to be at the extent of threathening, meh? Burn toys, no lunch/dinner, no birthday parties. Oh well, actually she holds birthday parties for her kids? Wah, so indulgent. We don't have parties for our kids at all !!!!!!!! But eve we don't without food, threaten and say cannot go to toilet!

So who wants to read her book? haha.
http://www.amazon.com/Battle-Hymn-Tiger-Mother-Chua/dp/1594202842

[Chenonceau]

Sensationalizing sells…


I know I am a bit like that (not the sensational part)… Especially the part about inculcating a work ethic and making sure the child has the skills to meet the future… And believing that the best way to build self-confidence is to HELP (not frighten) the child stay the course enough to do what he/she thought too difficult…

But I believe Chinese mothers have more subtle more gentle and less sensationally dramatic (though no less determined) ways of implementing these values.

Those mothers in the older generation who force fed in such a manner, today receive very few visits from their kids, if at all. In a culture where filial piety is socially enforced, such parental behavior can escape children’s negative backlash… In Singapore and USA, there is no such socially enforced filial piety…

[tamarind]

I do not understand why mothers must try so hard to make their kids good at piano, or other musical instruments. I do not know how to play the piano at all, and I don’t think I am missing anything important. Both my kids are given the freedom to do whatever they want, if they don’t like music, I will never force them to learn it.


The most important thing to me is to be very good in languages, both English and Chinese, from a very young age. My older girl learns both languages effortlessly, but it has not been easy with my younger boy. I remember that when I first taught him to read English at 3 years old, I almost vomited blood everyday. But I never threatened him with no lunch, no dinner, no birthday presents, etc. I only allowed him to watch his favourite DVDs (Leapfrog and Little Einsteins) , or promised him a sweet or chocolate, after he has finished learning. He was not allowed to eat any sweets/chocolates before that. What worked really well, was actually my cheering and clapping, every time he finished reading a page on his own. He felt really proud of himself, so he was motivated to try harder. Though he was only of average ability, he could read Charlie and the Chocolate factory at 5 years old.

My next door neighbour, a mainland Chinese mother, often beats her 5 year old son when teaching him. I have another neighbour, a Myanmar family, and the mother also regularly canes her teenage son when teaching him.

I do not approve of any parenting style that causes a child pain and fear.

However, if a child is doing badly in studies because he plays all day and refuses to pay attention or put in any hard work, then I think that the best way is to remove all toys,TV,computer games,sweets,chocolates,ice cream and all other luxuries. Provide only the very basic needs to survive, like only rice and vegetables every meal. This is to let him experience the consequences of not getting any paper qualifications.

[Chenonceau]

tamarind:

My next door neighbour, a mainland Chinese mother, often beats her 5 year old son when teaching him. I have another neighbour, a Myanmar family, and the mother also regularly canes her teenage son when teaching him.

This is awful. Yucks.

[tamarind]

insider,

I will advise parents to use that method only if the child fails most subjects. For a child with average ability, then getting Bs or Cs are good enough. He will still get a degree or a diploma.

I know many students who may be thrown out of poly without a diploma because they failed too many times, but they still didn’t care. I taught them before and I know very well that they are actually quite smart. These are the students who need to experience hunger, unless they have parents who are rich enough to support them for their entire lives.

[Mrsbongz]

I am not surprised to read articles like dat, having met some mainland chinese friends n colleagues like dat.. yes they have good results, but very often, they have not much else to b proud off.. they can't adapt well beyond their own community sometimes and I feel sad for them, when they tell me they don have fond memories of their childhood.. that it was spend trying very hard to live up to their parents' expectation..


As a mother, I do recognise that yes, a child should be taught to reach it's fullest potential, but i also believe that every child is different. not everyone can be good at their studies, and it doesn't mean that people in lower paying jobs had bad parents..

It's no wonder that China is actually contemplating a law for children to visit their parents.. But I think not all mainland parents are like this.. it's prob a culture thing among a percentage of the population.. just like not every singaporean is kiasu..

[tamarind]

Mrsbongz:

As a mother, I do recognise that yes, a child should be taught to reach it's fullest potential, but i also believe that every child is different. not everyone can be good at their studies, and it doesn't mean that people in lower paying jobs had bad parents..

Actually, in Singapore, so long as you have a degree or a diploma, you can live quite comfortably. There is no need to get perfect scores in order to own a car, employ a maid, and go on overseas trips every year

[hquek]

tamarind:

Actually, in Singapore, so long as you have a degree or a diploma, you can live quite comfortably. There is no need to get perfect scores in order to own a car, employ a maid, and go on overseas trips every year

In that I beg to differ, having a degree is just a way of opening doors. Some people who have very good results are not able to perform well in work. So having a degree may not guarantee one a good life - though it'll make things easier.

I've seen many pp with diplomas (or even less) who are doing super well. Then again, these pp are already working and in/past their prime, perhaps in THOSE days, it's doable.

[corneyAmber]

The article is written to create an impact and sensationalise as some has mentioned earlier.


In reality, there are many factors to consider. A reader cannot take everything written as biblical and try to emulate, it would be risky. First thing first to me is to look at the child and understand what the child is capable of. To me, whatever method to be used on a child is very much dependent on a child’s potential and that means spending quality time with a child to figure that out is even more critical than trying to apply methods. I think most parents spend alot of time driving their own agenda which is why some make it and some don’t. Those who make it are fortunately having children who have the potential to be trained whereas those who failed have children without that potential. In many things, we always have to look at the various sides, it would be simplistic just to look at parental approach alone without looking at the child first. Once we do that, we will also exercise moderation and not venture into extreme practices.

This author is lucky to have 2 kids with IQ above 150 so this is not where the general benchmark lies and can potentially backfire if not applied correctly.