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    Asian Mums are more SUPERIOR?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Working With Your Child
    272 Posts 52 Posters 106.5k Views 1 Watching
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    • F Offline
      fristrom
      last edited by

      Chenonceau:
      But people like me don't succeed in cultures where a collective identity is prized.


      ....

      I don't want my kids to be creative. Creativity is a burden and a curse.
      Hi Chenonceau,

      I read your various postings, and found them interesting and insightful.

      Successful is subjective. One can define successful as financially well off. Or perhaps, could we defined it as able to pursue your dream? As kids, we all have our dream of what we want to be when we grow up. I am not sure how many made it, but I would think they are the minority.

      I don't have a PhD in motivation nor psychology. As a layman, I link creative to dream. When you have a dream/vision, you will come up with creative way to get to it.

      Don't think we have much choice what we want our kids to be; but I do believe we have a choice about the environment. Rather than conforming to the environment, the alternative maybe is to create/seek another environment where a creative person can flourish?

      regards,
      fristrom

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      • C Offline
        Chenonceau
        last edited by

        fristrom:
        Chenonceau:

        But people like me don't succeed in cultures where a collective identity is prized.


        ....

        I don't want my kids to be creative. Creativity is a burden and a curse.

        Hi Chenonceau,

        I read your various postings, and found them interesting and insightful.

        Successful is subjective. One can define successful as financially well off. Or perhaps, could we defined it as able to pursue your dream? As kids, we all have our dream of what we want to be when we grow up. I am not sure how many made it, but I would think they are the minority.

        I don't have a PhD in motivation nor psychology. As a layman, I link creative to dream. When you have a dream/vision, you will come up with creative way to get to it.

        Don't think we have much choice what we want our kids to be; but I do believe we have a choice about the environment. Rather than conforming to the environment, the alternative maybe is to create/seek another environment where a creative person can flourish?

        regards,
        fristrom

        Teehee... Your definition of creativity is as good as any, and I agree with your point about the right environment. Person-environment fit eh?

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        • C Offline
          Chenonceau
          last edited by

          Alex001:
          Wait, I am confused. Are you saying that creativity is good or that creativity is bad?


          In my opinion, creativity is obviously good. Creative people is what makes this world this world. Chinese are obviously creative, or there wouldn't be Chinese paintings or pottery. I agree, some of the Chinese leaders are bland, but still sometimes get themselves killed, or receive controversy. Heck, this website was created out of creativity!

          Being creative is obviously not like gambling. If one is bland, his/her head may not get chopped off, but he/she will get a horrible, meaningless and apathetic life. If one is creative, even if he/she has their head chopped off, their life was worthwhile and they won't regret it.

          Creativity defines invention. Creativity is a pillar of the human spirit. Should creativity be lost, all hope is gone and we would be like sloths in the jungle.
          Alex, it is heartening to find a 12 year old who will even think through these issues. Bravo for you!

          I am not saying creativity is good nor bad. I am just describing how differently two cultures view creativity.

          The sky is blue. How does one judge a sky for being blue? And if we judged the sky's being blue as bad, can we change it to purple? Americans prize creativity. Chinese do so much much less. That's all I am saying.

          I hope this is clearer.

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          • C Offline
            Chenonceau
            last edited by

            foreverj, thank you… I begin to feel in you a cyber soulmate… hee!

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            • F Offline
              foreverj
              last edited by

              Chenonceau:
              foreverj, thank you... I begin to feel in you a cyber soulmate... hee!

              really? i'm honoured leh :celebrate:

              good thing abt ksp is that the younger parents get to learn from the experienced parents - their struggles, challenges, victories and overall lessons. u've set my mind thinking abt how i can shape my dd's growing years eg. do i want to handhold her or do i want to leave her to be more independent. i'm not sure if i can \"let go\" as much as you, but i think it shld be alright to once in a while, let her experience the consequence of her own actions. we'll see hw things go when it comes la...

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              • J Offline
                jameslim
                last edited by

                Hello to all,


                my name is James and I am a Television Producer from Channel NewsAsia. I am currently working on BlogTV.sg, a LIVE programme hosted by The Flying Dutchman and it airs every Tuesday evening at 8.30pm on CNA.

                In light of the recent Amy Chua article on Tiger Mums, I would like to speak to parents who feel that they believe in the Asian style of parenting. It would be great if I could speak to or be referred to a parent that fits that category of description.

                My email contact is [email protected] and I look forward to a positive response.

                Sincerely,
                James Lim

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                • M Offline
                  mrswongtuition
                  last edited by

                  I think the most important lesson to learn from this as a parent:

                  Pick up the good (inforcing discipline in our kids) and remembering not to use the bad (using dinner as threat).

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                  • M Offline
                    metz
                    last edited by

                    mrswongtuition:
                    I think the most important lesson to learn from this as a parent:

                    Pick up the good (inforcing discipline in our kids) and remembering not to use the bad (using dinner as threat).
                    We can certainly use some creativity in our threats. Just threatened my kids that if they cannot perfect their songs, no oysters for them. 😄

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                    • T Offline
                      tamarind
                      last edited by

                      Sharing this very good article, written by a 24 year-old female who was raised by first-generation Chinese parents in the USA :

                      http://www.jeanhsu.com/?p=229

                      jean hsu:
                      Chinese parents who demand the highest grades from their children at any cost are sadly doing them a great disservice. While it may result in short-term \"success,\" that mentality makes it incredibly difficult for them to find something they really love.

                      Amy Chua's kids are still young. They still have much of high school and college left, not to mention the rest of their lives. While I wish them the best, I cannot help but think of Chinese classmates who had stereotypically strict parents, but partied too hard in college and haven't really found anything they find fulfilling. I truly believe that many in my generation of ABCs (American born Chinese) lack drive--with parents that watch them do their homework and write their college application essays, they never had to make any hard decisions for themselves. Many are too cautious to take big risks, and instead find themselves stuck in unsatisfying jobs. While trying to give them an academic advantage, these parents are really stunting their personal and social development. Good grades, hard work and discipline can get you far in life, but it that's all you have and you lack social skills and initiative, you are sorely limited in what you can do.
                      I believe that many parents in Singapore are making the same mistake.

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                      • T Offline
                        tamarind
                        last edited by

                        2ppaamm:
                        ExpatMom:

                        Her kids may go to great schools and be able to play the piano beautifully... but I'm willing to bet they will never be able to write their own music or come up with their own ideas.


                        A strict life that disregards and stifles a person's passion will only give you children who are very good at following rules, but not good at innovating or creating new ideas.

                        er. I agree. Like a typical Singaporean smart but no initiative or lack creativity.

                        I agree. I think this is not only a problem with Singaporeans. I am now teaching a class of over 60 young adults from mainland China, all of them about 20 years old, clever and very hardworking. But when I asked them create something using only paper and paper clips, I am surprised at the lack of imagination and originality.

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