Throwing Tantrum

[MLR]

Hiya smurf


Glad to hear that something is working for your situation. Keep it on and all will turn out well.

:celebrate:

[MLR]

[Editor's note: Topic selected and edited for http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/how-manage-childs-tantrums]


Hiya, I managed to catch up with an old friend who is a Montessori trainer who is now back in Ireland. I was chatting with her and having exchanges about DS going thru the terrible twos and now in terrifying three stage. We of course touch on the topic of throwing tantrums leading to hysterical fits and she shared something interesting with me, here I liked to share:

Sometimes when a child doesn't calm down when in tantrums despite you
trying all ways and means. Its not because he doesn't want to, but
because he can't. This group of children is known as an intense or spirited child.
When less spirited child cry or get upset, their bodies produce the
hormone serotonin (Nature's Prozac), which helps calm them down.
This doesn't happens with intense/spirited children.

Studies of kids prone to tantrums leading to fits of crying and even
hysteria show that the best way is to gently calm and soothe them with
hugs and kisses at the first sign of distress, before they becomes
inconsolable. So, when your child is about to go into a tantrum,
don't even let him get started. Once he does, stress hormones will flood
his blood stream, body system and there won't be sufficient serotonin to
balance out the stress level, helping him cope. You can help by calming
him with a gentle hug and quicky distract him with something.

To build up your child's serotonin level, vigorous play like skipping,
jumping, running, hopping helps. When he is going into a tantrum,
he will have a reserve of serotonin in his system to help him cope.

My friend's advise on young children, especially those in the early years of age 1 to 4, is not to compare your child with others. Allow children to develope at their own pace, without undue pressure. Childhood should be a time of happiness, not training. A time to be fussed over, not a time for carrying out chores. Whatever may be, one thing is for sure, your child needs your encouragement, praise, patience, love, etc....

Easier said than done right? Especially when DS tried to wash his stuffed \"pet dinosaur\" because he brought it to after dinner fruit time and smear papaya on it. So, its my own doing, cos I thought that I can leave it to him to finish his fruit while I do his laundry. Next thing I heard him calling mommy cos pet dinosaur and bed is wet. :x He did his own laundry in his bed :faint: with his hand soap bottle and his pail filled with water !!:rant: :stupid:

[buds]

Your serotonin level is HIGH UP, MLR!!! Watch out!

[mintcc]

Thanks for sharing MLR, that's very informative. Hee your son is so cute...he probably wants to help mummy by washing the dino himself

[MLR]

buds:

Your serotonin level is HIGH UP, MLR!!! Watch out!

You mean its totally depleted.... I had to do my slow breathing exercise to calm myself down and gently asked him to get off his bed so that I can clear up the mess without him getting upset :roll:

[MLR]

mincy:

Thanks for sharing MLR, that's very informative. Hee your son is so cute...he probably wants to help mummy by washing the dino himself

Yes, its these moments that makes my blood pressure goes yoyo. Thats why its really terrifying age 3 for me, cos he is now in the exploring and copying stage, where he mirrors our words and actions. Recently DH and I notice he uses different tones when he calls mommy or daddy to express his emotions. We do call each other in different tone, especially me, so we really got to watch ourselves with him.

[MLR]

Hey, just noticed that my posting got selected for portal publishing, my FIRST, YIIPPEEE :rahrah:

[ChiefKiasu]

MLR:

Hey, just noticed that my posting got selected for portal publishing, my FIRST, YIIPPEEE :rahrah:

Congrats! :congrats:

[buds]

MLR:

Hey, just noticed that my posting got selected for portal publishing, my FIRST, YIIPPEEE :rahrah:

:congrats:

:rahrah: MLR! :rahrah:

[smurf]

Hi MLR,


hmm...say if you keep 'giving in' to a child, like what u did (trying to clean up the mess without scolding/reprimanding him), would he in the long term take advantage of you? like, mummy isn't going to scold/beat me, so I can ontinue doing that. yipee! cos that's what my boy is doing...I try not to be angry with him..but he seems to take advantage of the situation and keeps doing the naughty things.:(