PM Lee urges more babies in Year of Rabbit
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daddybear:
Finances:When you have kids, its a commitment for life. Lets not talk about getting kids into elite schools like nanyang/aitong etc... Just basic things like a house over your head, food on the table, medicine when your child is sick... These are questions I pose to myself from time to time.
Are you reasonably sure that you will not get fired and join the hordes of unemployed post-40s?
Do you stop tuition? Allowances? Holidays? Sell the car? Downgrade the house? At what point do you stop? What will the kids think and how will they handle it?
Do you have enough savings to put them through non-local university if they do not get a scholarship or cannot get into local university? Am I going to send my child into society sans a tertiary education?
Grandparents and maids:
Are both parents working? If so, who takes care of the child/children?
Do you have helpful grandparents? Are you prepared to return the favor when the grandparents get really old? (No free lunch in this world, mate...) Even if you have the $$$, do you have the time?
Hire a maid? More $$$ and more importantly, at what age would you trust the maid with your children alone.
Care to take that chance?
Everything is getting expensive...eating out isn't cheap but cooking at home isn't cheap either. Hubby & I coach kids to our best ability at the moment, providing Chinese tuition.
Maid:
After sending off the last Filipino, I couldn't bear the idea of having another one. Instead of helping with housework, I have to put up with bad attitude.
Stressful having one around, never left my kids home alone with them all the years I had maid.
Yes, our population is greying but how can the economy allow us to consider having more kids ? -
daddybear:
Hi daddybear,When you have kids, its a commitment for life. Lets not talk about getting kids into elite schools like nanyang/aitong etc...
Pre-school no need to send to Pat School House or MMI, that is for the ones who can afford. Fortunately Pri/Sec school fees are cheap.
As for enrichment, that is optional. My kids do not have ballet, piano, speech and drama classes...can't afford based on 1 pay cheque.
But if one decides to be a parent, we have to make sure our kids are able to keep up with the school work and that itself is STRESS and EXPENSIVE.
I spend quite a large amt on my 2 kids' assessment books every year.
Forget about maid and holidays. That is for those who can afford...but if I have #3, I would need a helper to do the housework and attend to the bb so that I can coach my older kids in their studies. -
My point is that if people feel reasonably secure about their future, reproduction would not be a problem. We are not fish or insects where laying 1000s of eggs and rely the survival of the fittest strategy. That is not acceptable.
Take for example a family with one income. If that person loses their job, at the age of 40+..., good luck getting another one with a similar pay. Usually, at that age, the children are just starting primary or secondary school. At 50+, the situation is aggravated and the kids are expecting to go into tertiary.
And its quite tough surviving on a single income. Taking in a salary of say $5k (not too shabby), 3 children is not easy. After all, people do not want to live from paycheck to paycheck. Someone in this forum just posted an article on an older person who had 2 kids and is clearly having trouble managing. $$$ problems often lead to mental and emotional problems.
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=19271
The trains at peak hour is sooo packed. Imagine at a woman at 3rd trimester fighting for a seat. Not everyone can afford a car or take a cab every day during 3rd trimester... If any unfortunate accidents, one might have to give birth to a stillborn... :!:
The young pple today are educated and smart. I am sure these points have been observed by them and probably much more other factors that my generation do not have the perspective on. Just find that the blame game being shoved on the citizens for lack of productivity lacks some kind of perspective. The common citizen, å¹³ę° perspective. -
[quote=\"daddybear\"]My point is that if people feel reasonably secure about their future, reproduction would not be a problem. We are not fish or insects where laying 1000s of eggs and rely the survival of the fittest strategy. That is not acceptable.
Take for example a family with one income. If that person loses their job, at the age of 40+..., good luck getting another one with a similar pay. Usually, at that age, the children are just starting primary or secondary school. At 50+, the situation is aggravated and the kids are expecting to go into tertiary.
And its quite tough surviving on a single income. Taking in a salary of say $5k (not too shabby), 3 children is not easy. After all, people do not want to live from paycheck to paycheck. Someone in this forum just posted an article on an older person who had 2 kids and is clearly having trouble managing. $$$ problems often lead to mental and emotional problems.
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=19271
I totally agree with you daddybear.But strangely, I have met ppl who simply don't care. That is, they don't believe in providing what I view as necessary if you want to have a child. They simply don't bother to save up or even plan for the child's uni education. Come on, isn't that the least that we should do as parents? Even Ang Pows collected during CNY are not given back to the children but recycled and given to others. For me and hubby, we just want to do our best to give the best to our dd so that she can have a comfortable life. This I feel, is the responsibiltiy of a parent and hence I can understand the concerns about $$$. -
Would \"over\" concern about the child's future and finance be a hinderance to having more kids as well. There need to be a balance approach. No one can guarantee you will hold your job till your child reaches adult age. If you think so far ahead, then chances are there will be so many uncertainties that will sort of end up not having kids.
On planning for a child's uni...my personal opinion is that its a long shot. I dun even know if they can go to there. I'm sure if they are able to, then there will be ways to work around the fees issue. Otherwise, its like planning 20 years ahead :? -
JonC:
I think we should have paternity leave, maybe not 4months, maybe 2 weeks becoz our wives are most vulnerable after giving birth isnt it....Hah, trying to legalise Paternity Leave, like in Europe.
The 4 months maternity leave (although partially paid by Gov) already give employer so much man power problem (hear say from friend's live problem), now paternity leave, good for the daddy, but not sure if it will work.
Maybe should have free education till as far as you can go. Only if we find oil well in our waters and land, like Brunei.
Is 2 weeks too much. Definitely not!!! We man go for reservist 2-3weeks every year. And for sure I cannot be having a new baby every year. If govt wants to take care of employer concerns, just let man skip 1 year reservist! Don't see what's so difficult about that. -
Relaxed parents: Too much worrying is a deterrent to a lot of things. First to plead guilty. Some leave it to chance. Some are super kiasu. Making a child is easy, rearing one is not so easy. Our declining birthrate perhaps is an indication that people are more kiasu than \"relak\"?
I know someone with a gambling habit. His daughter school fees have not been paid from Sec 1 to Sec 3. His mentality is if the school got guts, can throw her out of the school... :x Imagine how the daughter feels when the teacher scolded her in front the class and revealed all this to her classmates. Obviously, this is an extreme case.
But i think we need to see some clear evidence that society can take care of the young should the parents fall on hard circumstances. Like the newpaper report previously mentioned, I feel very sorry for the children being homeless. The newspaper reports social services is working on it... Erm, define working on it? Like while working on it, are the children still sleeping in the corridor? For how long?
Leave... long periods of leave is like a double edged sword. Good for you but perhaps not so good for your career. In any organization, if they can survive 1 month without you, it means they don't really need you. I remember in the midst of a major transaction, a colleague got called up for 4 weeks reservist overseas. He tried to get out of it but could not. Basically that incident basically short circuited his career as someone else with no reservist liabilities took over. His efforts over 18 months went up in smoke.
Got no answers to this area but just pointing out that long leave periods is not exactly without hidden cost. Not every firm lets you happy happy take one year sabbatical :lol: -
Idono:
I think that's a great idea!
I think we should have paternity leave, maybe not 4months, maybe 2 weeks becoz our wives are most vulnerable after giving birth isnt it....
Is 2 weeks too much. Definitely not!!! We man go for reservist 2-3weeks every year. And for sure I cannot be having a new baby every year. If govt wants to take care of employer concerns, just let man skip 1 year reservist! Don't see what's so difficult about that.
Gahmen trying to persuade Sgeans to procreate at a younger age right - and only younger men will have reservist duty. If gahmen come up with, have kids early and you can swop reservist for paternity leave...then younger men (who are trying to climb up that career path) will be able to make the choice. In both cases, work to nation is involved mah.
Yes, oversimplistic to think that this will make anyone want to have a child earlier. But then if a guy kena call up for reservist and then few months down the road go on paternity duty...wahhh, i cannot imagine what will happen to his career. poof? -
kaitlynangelica:
...they don't believe in providing what I view as necessary if you want to have a child. They simply don't bother to save up or even plan for the child's uni education. Come on, isn't that the least that we should do as parents? Even Ang Pows collected during CNY are not given back to the children but recycled and given to others. For me and hubby, we just want to do our best to give the best to our dd so that she can have a comfortable life. This I feel, is the responsibiltiy of a parent and hence I can understand the concerns about $$$.
Very subjective in my opinion.
I've met many who DO live paycheck to paycheck.
Not that they are irresponsible.. Not that they don't care..
Just not enough to save.. But enough to feed, clothe, have
a roof over their heads, school their children well. Cannot judge.
Different people have different lifestyles, family income, family difficulties
ie. aging/ill elders.. special children.. many children.. single income.. etc...
Good if we have enough to cover the next 20 years, but if others don't... well..
they don't. -
raynreg:
:goodpost:Would \"over\" concern about the child's future and finance be a hinderance to having more kids as well. There need to be a balance approach. No one can guarantee you will hold your job till your child reaches adult age. If you think so far ahead, then chances are there will be so many uncertainties that will sort of end up not having kids.
On planning for a child's uni...my personal opinion is that its a long shot. I dun even know if they can go to there. I'm sure if they are able to, then there will be ways to work around the fees issue. Otherwise, its like planning 20 years ahead :?
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