Club SAHM

[buds]

SAHM_TAN:

I'm worst, I'm an \"accidental\" mummy. I never imagine I would be a mummy let alone a mummy of 3 kids

Alamak! :slapshead:

Dis wan lagi best! :rotflmao:

You take the cake boi! :laugh:

:rotflmao:

:udawoman:

[SAHM_TAN]

buds:

SAHM_TAN:

I'm worst, I'm an \"accidental\" mummy. I never imagine I would be a mummy let alone a mummy of 3 kids

Alamak! :slapshead:

Dis wan lagi best! :rotflmao:

You take the cake boi! :laugh:

:rotflmao:

:udawoman:

Ya lor......Even my frens commented never thot I would be a mummy :rotflmao:

1st one hubby planned sneak attack. I can't let her be without a sibling, poor thing when we are old and gone. So thought we agreed to stop at 2 but who knows I never learn my lesson about his sneaky nature and now we have 3.

[Admummy]

i’ve become a SAHM for 1mth plus…at times regret…but no turning back…I’ve got 3 kids, oldest gal turning 6, boy turning 4 and youngest 13mths…i find it very tiring to handle my youngest (even with maid)…he always disrupt my plan, like when i’m teaching my elder two, he will insist on joining and my maid not able to distract him…headache…plus i find that after turning into a SAHM like relationship with mum in law a bit sour…can someone motivate me a bit so that i won’t feel so regretful…

[Admummy]

super rotten mood now…shit what a way to welcome the TOTO draw …hope the suay luck will be gone and cai shen ye ye come to me!!

[Kabby]

Admummy:

i've become a SAHM for 1mth plus...at times regret...but no turning back...I've got 3 kids, oldest gal turning 6, boy turning 4 and youngest 13mths...i find it very tiring to handle my youngest (even with maid)..he always disrupt my plan, like when i'm teaching my elder two, he will insist on joining and my maid not able to distract him...headache....plus i find that after turning into a SAHM like relationship with mum in law a bit sour...can someone motivate me a bit so that i won't feel so regretful...

hi!
my dd is 12.5 mth, and yes, she bothers her 2 brothers a lot. they are 8 and almost-6yo. I don't have a helper so yes, I have to constantly find ways to get her out of literally chewing the p2 boy's homework.

do you live with your mil? why does the rship sour only after you become SAHM?

for me, there are many frustrations too but weighing everything, i still enjoy being at home. besides the cliche advantage of witnessing all their milestones, it is also great to be there to see all their shortcomings and weaknesses too, you know.

why? becos, you can be there to help them overcome whatever it is that made them cry. you can also be the first one to correct them when they did something wrong.

not saying that if you are not sahm you can't do the above, but if you stay at home with them, the chances are higher.

there are many other benefits, like our bond is very strong, v close... but i think what's impt to keep our spirits up and remain cheerful would be
- to have enough rest
(being tired makes me moody)
- have some time to exercise or do sth without the kids?

for me, i have no help from anyone right now, except dh, when he's not at work, so i do feel really exhausted and wish to have some \"me\" time.

I just keep looking forward to something to keep myself motivated. eg a weekend or a birthday, whatever.

hth!

[SAHM_TAN]

Admummy:

i've become a SAHM for 1mth plus...at times regret...but no turning back...I've got 3 kids, oldest gal turning 6, boy turning 4 and youngest 13mths...i find it very tiring to handle my youngest (even with maid)..he always disrupt my plan, like when i'm teaching my elder two, he will insist on joining and my maid not able to distract him...headache....plus i find that after turning into a SAHM like relationship with mum in law a bit sour...can someone motivate me a bit so that i won't feel so regretful...

:welcome: to the club!

Chin up Admummy

It has been 2 yrs since I last had a job. I became one because I wanted to spend time with my kids. I had only 2 when I decided to quit. I was feeling very frustrated that everyone else was having more time with my kids except me. So I quit.

I had many plans on how I want to spend time with my kids. I took my DD out of CC, took my DS from his great aunt, was sourcing for primary school and learning to cook. All my plans flew out the window when 6 months down the road I found that I was preg with DD2. It was the pregnancy from hell, I was rendered useless and bedridden most of the time. I had to let DS go back to his great aunt.

Now I have 3 kids, all at their critical ages, DD, 6yo going to P1 next yr, DS 3 yo, exerting his independence and final stages of toilet training and DD2 6mo, clinging to me like a koala, with no domestic helper. There are times I want to run away from home. But I'm a mummy, not a perfect one, not the best one but still a mummy, as a mummy I cannot be down or feel sorry for myself for long. I have to pick myself up. We are mummies, hear us roar.

Kids besides wanting us to buy the whole toy store for, want our love and attention. When I'm helping DD with her preparation for P1, my DS will want to \"disturb\" and DD2 will not be satisfied with his daddy, mil or fil. They all want to join in the fun. So I let DS play with his lego next to me or I give him some drawing work. DD2 I will put her on the bed and entertain her with one thing or another. It does not always work, when it does not and I'm going ballistics, I just stop and we all play or I just read to them. I find that it's more important that they have a positive experience than I try to push something through with too much force. Beflore DD2 turned 6mos, I stopped all work with DD. I only started again when I could handle all 3.

It is exciting to see mummy home, so your youngest would not understand that you are teaching yor older ones, he/she just want to join in the fun with mummy and jie jie and kor kor. Try to include him/her, simple things will do the trick.

I had epic battles with my mil over the kids. She's a formidable opponent. She has more moves than Jacky Chan and Jet Li combined. Now we have reached a period of truce. Now that I'm a SAHM. a decision must be made as to who decide the running of the household and the kids. So now, she only cook dinner and helps with DD2 or the older ones in the evening from 6 pm to 8pm during the wkdays.

I'm sure she still dislike me but for the family we keep the truce. She has some time with the kids but Daddy and mummy are the main players in their lives.

Is your mil unhappy about her allowance now that you are a SAHM or both of you spending too much time in home turf?

What keeps me going is that I want to be with my kids, even on days I have to discipline them till I have stomach cramps. I take time off to recharge. Sometimes a simple thing like a nap will do the trick too. Or to meet up with frens, I still bring DD2 along becos she super clingy now but I still feel refreshed.

Cheer up and chin up, it's all worth while when they say I love you

[janet88]

Hi,

I’ve been a SAHM for close to 12 years…quit my job when I was expecting first one…couldn’t cope with the mood swings in the 2nd trimester. So after buying all the necessary bb stuff and whatever, I quit.
When son was born, on top of not knowing how to look after a baby, he had cleft as well. We moved to my parents place until son turned 3.

When #2 came, we got a maid after weighing the pros & cons of full time helper vs part time. Coaching my son when he was in P1 was really tough as #2 always wanted to disturb…the maid couldn’t handle her. So I told her to cook lunch early and wash up everything while I look after #2 who was then 3 years old. Son was in afternoon session and I really hated the morning rush.

There was no such thing as ‘me’ time…had to wake son up for breakfast, coached him in his work and getting him prepared for lunch, bath and then send him off to school. When he is in school, I will look after #2 while maid did housework.
After 2 years of afternoon session, I told myself I have enough…pray hard #2 can go to a primary school with just morning session. By then, my maid also gave me problem…one after another.

Now, son is in P5 while daughter is in P1. Both in morning sessions but diff schools…daughter in my former school. Prayed very hard that P1 will be in morn session then and my wish was granted.
I have ‘me’ time every morning when the kids are off to school. Recharge my battery to keep my sanity when they both return home after school.

Try to get more rest and if possible sweat it out. It does help. I didn’t believe it when the doctor told me this (mild depression earlier due to anxiety).

[sleepy]

Admummy:

youngest 13mths...i find it very tiring to handle my youngest (even with maid)..he always disrupt my plan, like when i'm teaching my elder two, he will insist on joining and my maid not able to distract him..

How about placing your youngest in another room with toys and music CDs? and your maid can accompany him the entire time. He wants attention

If still doesn't work out, you can consider half day child care for him. During his child care time, you can coach your 2 elder kids

But I usually try to avoid child care as much as possible la. This is the last resort

[sleepy]

SAHM_TAN:

I had epic battles with my mil over the kids. She's a formidable opponent. She has more moves than Jacky Chan and Jet Li combined. Now we have reached a period of truce. Now that I'm a SAHM. a decision must be made as to who decide the running of the household and the kids. So now, she only cook dinner and helps with DD2 or the older ones in the evening from 6 pm to 8pm during the wkdays.

My MIL hated me when I first left my job. She felt bitter because
1. her son must take on the entire burden of providing for us. She insisted I should work instead of shaking legs at home
2. I brought dd1 home to bond. She wanted to keep baby with her

So can easily guess what happen next, she practically picked on me every time we met. Yet I must 忍气吞声, really frustrating!

With arrival of dd2, I did offer to let her babysit again but this time she refused, said she rather babysit BIL's future kids. Aiya still feeling sore I guess

Anyway, after a few years, with the arrival of other grandchildren whom she helped to babysit, she couldn't be bothered to spend energy to pick on me la. So our relationship improved :celebrate:

But the sad news is, after babysitting her other grandchildren till they reach primary school age, she got 'kick out' from BIL's house as she is now weak in health and ran out of usefulness to them

Now I felt sorry for her instead. Sigh...

[SAHM_TAN]

sleepy:

SAHM_TAN:

I had epic battles with my mil over the kids. She's a formidable opponent. She has more moves than Jacky Chan and Jet Li combined. Now we have reached a period of truce. Now that I'm a SAHM. a decision must be made as to who decide the running of the household and the kids. So now, she only cook dinner and helps with DD2 or the older ones in the evening from 6 pm to 8pm during the wkdays.

My MIL hated me when I first left my job. She felt bitter because
1. her son must take on the entire burden of providing for us. She insisted I should work instead of shaking legs at home
2. I brought dd1 home to bond. She wanted to keep baby with her

So can easily guess what happen next, she practically picked on me every time we met. Yet I must 忍气吞声, really frustrating!

With arrival of dd2, I did offer to let her babysit again but this time she refused, said she rather babysit BIL's future kids. Aiya still feeling sore I guess

Anyway, after a few years, with the arrival of other grandchildren whom she helped to babysit, she couldn't be bothered to spend energy to pick on me la. So our relationship improved :celebrate:

But the sad news is, after babysitting her other grandchildren till they reach primary school age, she got 'kick out' from BIL's house as she is now weak in health and ran out of usefulness to them

Now I felt sorry for her instead. Sigh...

That's sad, what happened to your MIL. Was your MIL a working mum when she was younger?

Anything my MIL do to me I can take it, taking the jewelery my hubby bought me, she say for safe-keeping, going through my things, etc.... BUT she tried to replace me in my DD's life, that's a no no zone. I told my hubby to tell her mother I need more time with DD. She just could not let go. We finally went into battle mode, when I was in my hormonal rage, was having a rough pregnancy with DS, I did the most disrespectful thing and yelled at her. From then it was ugly. Anyway, now we at the truce stage.