Primary 6 student tries to jump off school building
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verykiasu2010:
This story made me cry.I always remember a story I read some time ago.
A father would now and then take the boy to playground but only for a little while because he wanted to boy to work hard and not play too much
Kids being kids and you know, when you are at the playground with the kids, it is hard to pull them away.....
One day, as usual the father hurried his boy to go home.....and his boy pleaded with him...\"Dad, 5 more minutes
\" but the Dad soon got angry and so the son obliged to go home quickly while he went to a nearby store to get some grocery...
After the father reached home with his grocery, he did not see his son at home, thinking his son was still at the playground. So with an angry mood he went back to the playground to look for his son but he was not there.
Not far away a crowd was gathering. It was a traffic accident. The father thought nothing about it and went home, angry. Later, the police came knocking at his door .......
His son took a short cut trying to get home earlier to please his dad but was knocked down by a speeding car .... the crowd he saw gathered at the road was it ...... by then it is too late, if only he agreed to give his son that \"5 more minutes\" .......that \"5 more minutes\" became a lifelong regret
Parents, sometimes that \"5 more minutes\" really meant a lot more than 5 more marks in the exams
Yes... it's always good for parents to LISTEN to the urgency in a child's voice or his fear or his disappointment and give in. We always think we wanna mould our children and we know what is best. Sometimes, we know too little to be effective... because we don't LISTEN and HEAR the unsaid.
Children all want their parents' approval... and sometimes it is touching to see the lengths to which mine go to make me happy. Ohhhh... this is so so sad. -
verykiasu2010:
In this story, it's obvious that the fault lies solely with the son. He was disobedient - and his disobedience was compounded by his taking a short cut, and his not taking note of the road conditions in crossing the road.I always remember a story I read some time ago.
A father would now and then take the boy to playground but only for a little while because he wanted to boy to work hard and not play too much
Kids being kids and you know, when you are at the playground with the kids, it is hard to pull them away.....
One day, as usual the father hurried his boy to go home.....and his boy pleaded with him...\"Dad, 5 more minutes \" but the Dad soon got angry and so the son obliged to go home quickly while he went to a nearby store to get some grocery...
After the father reached home with his grocery, he did not see his son at home, thinking his son was still at the playground. So with an angry mood he went back to the playground to look for his son but he was not there.
Not far away a crowd was gathering. It was a traffic accident. The father thought nothing about it and went home, angry. Later, the police came knocking at his door .......
His son took a short cut trying to get home earlier to please his dad but was knocked down by a speeding car .... the crowd he saw gathered at the road was it ...... by then it is too late, if only he agreed to give his son that \"5 more minutes\" .......that \"5 more minutes\" became a lifelong regret
Parents, sometimes that \"5 more minutes\" really meant a lot more than 5 more marks in the exams
Why blame the father for enforcing what is right?
Why should the father feel guilty in expecting the son to obey him?
The only regret is that the father didn't allow the son's 5 minutes - but on the other hand, if the father gave in that 5 minutes, the son might also exhaust that 5 minutes and do the same thing and return via the short cut and cross the road without thought.
The point I'm making is this, the parent-child relationship is dynamic. There are factors outside the relationship that would also affect this relationship. The father expecting the son to obey him, is doing it out of love because he grants the son time to play, but there is the need to work. Why vilify his actions? Why create doubts for what he did out of love?
As for child suicides, there are factors living in this day and age that influence our kids that as parents we may find it difficult to counter. The media, for one is such an influence. The cry for help is exponentially depicted in the form of attempted suicides, self-mutilation or rebellion. Media characters turn to their friends for resolution to conflicts, but their parents are usually portrayed as clueless, villians or neglectful.
It becomes for parents a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you push your child to excel, you're afraid of pushing him too far. If you don't push your child to excel, you're afraid that he never attempt to realise his full potential.
Because excellence in Singapore is so narrow - PSLE results, schools that you can go to - it reduces the vision we have for our kids. We find it difficult to celebrate our kids' talents simply because most of their other talents are not officially recognised and our tunnel vision refocus on those elusive A*s, skimming over whatever achievements they have already garnered.
We need to take a step back and re-envision what success means for our children. I agree with the parents here who note that effort, rather than grade is the key to what we need to teach our kids.
However, that is not enough.
As parents, we need to continue advocating a change in our education system, not only for our children - but also for our children's children. We need to continue expecting our govt to make positive policies to expand the areas where we can celebrate our children's efforts and talents. SOTA and the Sports School is a step, but we need to dream bigger. We need to
believe that every child matters, and not only the gifted, the academically inclined or those who can regurgitate information. We need to celebrate the kids on the fringe, the dreamers, those that see things differently.
After all, those kids not only think outside the box, they practically live outside the box. -
As our children grow up, they become more and more unhappy with all the homework and stress that they are facing. As a parent, I have to constantly remind myself that my greatest wish for my children is for them to be happy and healthy. Even that simple wish is not easily materialised.
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ANobleNerd:
:goodpost: Nice balance.
In this story, it's obvious that the fault lies solely with the son. He was disobedient - and his disobedience was compounded by his taking a short cut, and his not taking note of the road conditions in crossing the road.verykiasu2010:
I always remember a story I read some time ago.
A father would now and then take the boy to playground but only for a little while because he wanted to boy to work hard and not play too much
Kids being kids and you know, when you are at the playground with the kids, it is hard to pull them away.....
One day, as usual the father hurried his boy to go home.....and his boy pleaded with him...\"Dad, 5 more minutes \" but the Dad soon got angry and so the son obliged to go home quickly while he went to a nearby store to get some grocery...
After the father reached home with his grocery, he did not see his son at home, thinking his son was still at the playground. So with an angry mood he went back to the playground to look for his son but he was not there.
Not far away a crowd was gathering. It was a traffic accident. The father thought nothing about it and went home, angry. Later, the police came knocking at his door .......
His son took a short cut trying to get home earlier to please his dad but was knocked down by a speeding car .... the crowd he saw gathered at the road was it ...... by then it is too late, if only he agreed to give his son that \"5 more minutes\" .......that \"5 more minutes\" became a lifelong regret
Parents, sometimes that \"5 more minutes\" really meant a lot more than 5 more marks in the exams
Why blame the father for enforcing what is right?
Why should the father feel guilty in expecting the son to obey him?
The only regret is that the father didn't allow the son's 5 minutes - but on the other hand, if the father gave in that 5 minutes, the son might also exhaust that 5 minutes and do the same thing and return via the short cut and cross the road without thought.
The point I'm making is this, the parent-child relationship is dynamic. There are factors outside the relationship that would also affect this relationship. The father expecting the son to obey him, is doing it out of love because he grants the son time to play, but there is the need to work. Why vilify his actions? Why create doubts for what he did out of love?
As for child suicides, there are factors living in this day and age that influence our kids that as parents we may find it difficult to counter. The media, for one is such an influence. The cry for help is exponentially depicted in the form of attempted suicides, self-mutilation or rebellion. Media characters turn to their friends for resolution to conflicts, but their parents are usually portrayed as clueless, villians or neglectful.
It becomes for parents a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you push your child to excel, you're afraid of pushing him too far. If you don't push your child to excel, you're afraid that he never attempt to realise his full potential.
Because excellence in Singapore is so narrow - PSLE results, schools that you can go to - it reduces the vision we have for our kids. We find it difficult to celebrate our kids' talents simply because most of their other talents are not officially recognised and our tunnel vision refocus on those elusive A*s, skimming over whatever achievements they have already garnered.
We need to take a step back and re-envision what success means for our children. I agree with the parents here who note that effort, rather than grade is the key to what we need to teach our kids.
However, that is not enough.
As parents, we need to continue advocating a change in our education system, not only for our children - but also for our children's children. We need to continue expecting our govt to make positive policies to expand the areas where we can celebrate our children's efforts and talents. SOTA and the Sports School is a step, but we need to dream bigger. We need to
believe that every child matters, and not only the gifted, the academically inclined or those who can regurgitate information. We need to celebrate the kids on the fringe, the dreamers, those that see things differently.
After all, those kids not only think outside the box, they practically live outside the box. -
alng:
As our children grow up, they become more and more unhappy with all the homework and stress that they are facing. As a parent, I have to constantly remind myself that my greatest wish for my children is for them to be happy and healthy. Even that simple wish is not easily materialised.
Must give them enough time to play. Little Boy's teacher suggested that he do practices on Sunday when I complained that supplementary classes interfered with his home practice schedule and he was very tired. Sunday is play day... all day. Little Boy knows it is play day and I will never touch his play day so the rest of the week, he is prepared to work all day.
If I take away play day, he will be desperate for play and will try and squeeze out play wherever he can. This sets the child up for disobedience. Children do need to play and parents should respect and protect play time.
In the end, I told Teacher that I didn't want supplementary classes for Little Boy. After all, his grades are in the 90s and his Chinese is improving by leaps and bounds with our Compo Memorizing Experiment. He has been much happier and more willing to focus and work after I pulled him outta supplementary class. -
Chenonceau:
I totally agree with you about play day. We also try to keep the weekends free so that no. 1 can finish all his work by Saturday so that Sunday is just of rest for the entire family. Therefore, we ensure that whatever enrichment classes any of the kids sign up would have to be on a weekday.alng:
As our children grow up, they become more and more unhappy with all the homework and stress that they are facing. As a parent, I have to constantly remind myself that my greatest wish for my children is for them to be happy and healthy. Even that simple wish is not easily materialised.
Must give them enough time to play. Little Boy's teacher suggested that he do practices on Sunday when I complained that supplementary classes interfered with his home practice schedule and he was very tired. Sunday is play day... all day. Little Boy knows it is play day and I will never touch his play day so the rest of the week, he is prepared to work all day.
If I take away play day, he will be desperate for play and will try and squeeze out play wherever he can. This sets the child up for disobedience. Children do need to play and parents should respect and protect play time.
In the end, I told Teacher that I didn't want supplementary classes for Little Boy. After all, his grades are in the 90s and his Chinese is improving by leaps and bounds with our Compo Memorizing Experiment. He has been much happier and more willing to focus and work after I pulled him outta supplementary class. -
Just gotten the latest news, the boy is from Chong zheng in Tampines. My friend’s child is from that school. Pr 6 is damn stressful, I really hope those P6 children are not victims of school trying too hard to gain top place. I also heard that the boy was called to the stage and get scolded by the new principal…new boss at work…
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So important is that we must always communicate with the children and understand what is the stress or problem that they are facing. Always tell dd to treat PSLE like the SA1 or SA2 that she has been going through since P2. Exam is just an exam and we would not scarify her favour show time and leisure time lah.
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I always prided myself as a mother who sets high standards for her children and pushes them to achieve their best.
It comes as a jolting surprise to realize that in the past 3 years, I collude with my children more and more to PONTANG school so that they can retain some semblance of emotional balance. I am not the only one. The Daughter’s classmates pontang with parent letters. One mother huffily told the teacher "I am quite sure that if my daughter misses school, she knows what she is doing". And when I see Little Boy too tired, I keep him home too.
The standards are so high that time becomes a critical resource. The hours spent travelling to and from school… is time away from practice, and time not spent sleeping. You don’t have time like in the past to bear patiently and respectfully with poor teachers who waste time because time becomes precious given the demands of the exams.
It is terrible when parents have to protect their kids this way from a system meant to help them. -
I heard about this from a former teacher from my girl’s school. She is tutoring my girl now.
Schools tend to drill their PSLE students with other school’s prelim papers weeks/days before the PSLE. This former teacher told me that a few years ago, there was this mother who pulled her girl out of school one week before the PSLE so as to prevent her girl from being overly drilled by the school teachers and to get too stressed up. The end result was the girl top in that school for PSLE!
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