In-law problems?

[janet88]

Mrs Ang:

janet_lee88:

If MIL can be 乖 and listen, I think money will drop from the sky.

Yup and we won't have so many problem.

What they preach is opposite of what they do. Lies and drama is hard to bear. Most sickening is acting angelic in front of sons, making daughter in laws to be the devils :x
Told hubby I will adopt hands off with my future daughter in law. Don't preach nor get involved in their lives or quarrels lest I be seen as siding.

[baglady]

janet_lee88:

I was about to mention that...going to P1. School work isn't easy now, even for P1. I do coach my daughter and revise her work daily...she will definitely whine.

Fortunately my parents do not interfere where work is concerned. My kids also know better not to approach my parents to be their 靠山. The last time my father tested my son for his EL spelling...for every mistake made, he had to write 20x. That was in P2 or P3. HaHaHa.

It's good that you're firm and your parents don't interfere! One of my friends has opposite problem. She's more relaxed and thinks its important for her kids to enjoy their childhood. Her mother is super kiasu and always nagging them about work, making them do revisions, go for tuition, etc. My friend is so frustrated. She says her mother is not just stressing out her kids but also her and her hubby!

Anyway I definitely don't want to wait until primary school to deal with these problems! Scared it may be too late! I think its important to set the right tone from earlier stage and explain why we do certain things and stress that they shouldnt spoil him even though he is still so young.

If not, by the time he's in P1, there will be horror stories! So I'm trying to make sure he learns the right values from young and doesnt become spoilt and think he can get his way as long as grandparents are around.

[baglady]

[quote="janet_lee88] What they preach is opposite of what they do. Lies and drama is hard to bear. Most sickening is acting angelic in front of sons, making daughter in laws to be the devils :x

Told hubby I will adopt hands off with my future daughter in law. Don’t preach nor get involved in their lives or quarrels lest I be seen as siding.[/quote]

Wah that’s terrible. To create problems and then add fuel to the fires.

[janet88]

baglady:

[quote=\"janet_lee88] What they preach is opposite of what they do. Lies and drama is hard to bear. Most sickening is acting angelic in front of sons, making daughter in laws to be the devils :x

Wah that's terrible. To create problems and then add fuel to the fires.[/quote][/quote]

Now that we have to endure the nonsense...when we become MIL one day, we should not repeat and give the son & his wife problems.

I know it's a little off topic, but don't wait till child starts primary school to get him serious where school work is concerned. It sounds like P1 is like an extension of kindergarten but it isn't. P1 is start of building foundation.

[baglady]

janet_lee88:

I know it's a little off topic, but don't wait till child starts primary school to get him serious where school work is concerned. It sounds like P1 is like an extension of kindergarten but it isn't. P1 is start of building foundation.

Agree, should start with the right values from young and get kids interested in learning. I also think it's important to help them learn some discipline and self control from young. If they're spoilt by grandparents, then they will just do whatever they want!

[janet88]

If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen…always saying ‘Aiyah, only P1. What’s the big deal?’ Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.

[baglady]

janet_lee88:

If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen...always saying 'Aiyah, only P1. What's the big deal?' Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.

Yeah even as babies, they know who they can bully!

[janet88]

baglady:

janet_lee88:

If in-laws spoil the kids, then have to sit down with hubby to explain the importance of building foundation and get him to tell his parents to stay out of the way. Of course there are some who will not want to listen...always saying 'Aiyah, only P1. What's the big deal?' Kids are very smart, when they have 靠山, sure to take advantage.

Yeah even as babies, they know who they can bully!

Oh yes, of course. If carried whole day, then parents will have hard time at home with the bb.

[Mum Lim]

How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?

NOT PILS making the CALL....
Its difficult to do so...
Hopefully a miracle will appear soon

[janet88]

Mum Lim:

How to tell pils that parents are the ones whom decide their future?

NOT PILS making the CALL....
Its difficult to do so...
Hopefully a miracle will appear soon

Rather hard for wives to get this point across to them...rather sensitive. Get the husbands to tell. Someone has to do the dirty job for the sake of children's future.