Depressed mum
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Hi LJHLJH,
Welcome to KSP!
I came across your post in another thread saying you already have an appointment with KKH in May to see the child development doctor izzit?
Has your boy been studying in the same kindy since Nursery or K1?
Because from your post, I think your child may benefit from attending those \"Preparation for P1\" type of courses from Early Intervention Centres like Bridge Learning.
I put the website link here so that you can visit and read it. Because I found their website very, very encouraging on recommending help for kids with learning difficulties regardless of the labels (or lack of) on what is \"wrong\" with the kids.
http://www.bridgelearning.com.sg/
Do encourage your hubby to read and work towards helping your child as well. I know it is hard to take it when the teachers give negative feedbacks on your kid. On those days when I heard some negative feedbacks on my kid, my mood would be so bad and inevitably ended up short of patience with my boy and being extra harsh on him and making him cry. Next day or few after getting some rest and better perspective, felt better and tried not to over-react or panic trying to rush for solution.
My boy 3.5 yo is just starting to talk and babbling a lot. He is adorable if not for the pressure when compared to his peers. He started Nursery this year at a traditional kindy. Am also trying not to panic and go down the path of pressurizing him but to balance the helps that he would need. His kindy teachers feedback about holding pencil not quite there yet and his speech. So I look towards speech therapy and early intervention centres to help my son. I am not looking towards conventional tuition centres or enrichment classes because I think these teachers may not have the necessary patience or skills to help children with some developmental delays.
There are quite a number of early intervention centres around which offer such \"Prep for school\" types of program if you are interested or if you do not already know about them.
Try your best to relax and pray for wisdom to know what to do for your kid. Do what you feel is right in your heart and when you made a decision you feel at peace.
:celebrate: -
it is best you get to the root cause of the problem. There could be a learning diability.
Check your kid for ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia. Go to DAS for the Dyslexia test, the Child Guidance Clinic for ADHD test or you can get the test at Mount E.
Test at the Child Guidance Clinic is the cheapest, but there is a waiting list.
Take an IQ test as well.
No need to fret, but you can’t sit on this and push your kid if he/she has a learning disability.
Go for the relevant tests, at least, then you’re armed with information on how to deal with the situation. Attacking the problem in the dark will be both frustrating and futile both for you and your child.
If your child has Dyslexia, you can opt to have your child get 2nd Language exempted. Coping with English will be hard enough for a dyslexic child, coping with 2 languages is near impossible. The school will provide for such arrangements if your child is proven to be dyslexic.
If your child has ADHD, get help from professional help on how to teach your kid. These kids have very special needs and require special learning programs. They are not complicated, just different from the learning methods expoused by most parents in this forum. They can still progress and get good grades, but you must have the proper training methods. SPARK is a ADHD support group in Singapore. You can get relevant information on how to deal with a child with learning disabilities. -
His current diagnosis is suspected Language impairment (or MERLD, mixed expressive/receptive language delay), but is showing signs of slow progress. He’s coming to 6 yr in sept, but has a speech and language level of a 2 year old. We only started intensive speech therapy this year as kk was very full and had only monthly therapy since he was 3+yrs. Think we wasted some time there, and they didn’t want to test him for anything as he wasn’t showing obvious signs of autism, ADHD or dyslexia, so it was like an elimination style. And now that he is gradually talking with more words, langugage impairment is just suspected becoz he might just have speech delay and will catch up in time.
I think I was starting to panic now that his P1 enrollment is drawing near and his peers are so way ahead in communication.
Desertwind is right, negative comments from preschool teachers really puts me off for the day. And yes, come May, there’s a KK appt for school readiness testing, IQ testing etc. I’ll see how this turns out… -
Dont be dishearten. My niece is 6 years old this year and not able to speak at all. She has been going to speech therapy for the last few years and till now no imporvement.
Every kid develop differently. Dont give up. Jia you. -
Coming from a parent with a special need child, it is a blessing to have them. I learnt alot, alot… Of course, when the diagnosis was first heard, there was a period of griefing. It is normal, just don’t keep it long.
You love your child, so you want to do your best for him, hoping that he will catch up. Don’t blame yourself and don’t him when result is not seen. Both of you have come a long way. Pat on your shoulders All is definitely not lost. Perhaps it is time to rethink and review how to walk this long route now.
IMO, delay a year or even a few years of school is no big deal. Look around, some adults do mid-career change, they could be a decade or 2 older than their peers. So what?
Most importantly, enjoy your time and bonding with your child. No matter how his/her performance is, he/she is precious. I know it can be hard not to be frustrated and anxious especially when he/she is not meeting the social standard. Parents have to constantly remind ourselves to readjust our expectations.
MOE does allow late admission to school, as long as you can provide assessment report to proof that the child is not ready. For the assessment, I think Ovspring Development Clinic and James Cook University Psychological Clinic do that. When my eldest started P1, she had 2 or 3 classmates who were about 2 years older. Hence, it is not uncommon.
Take care of yourself, mentally and emotionally. You need to be healthy to nurture your precious child well. You are definitely not alone. -
Thanks Village Girl
Is your niece intending to enroll for P1 next year or will she defer? -
Hi IJJ,
Thks for reminding me that my boy is a blessing. It is so easy to get caught up with this rat race and forget to enjoy just being their mummy.
It really broke my heart when his preschool mates asked me why he talks ‘rubbish’. I know he felt it too, though he can’t express himself. If I had the means, I’ll homeschool him till he is ready to take on the rigours of our mainstream school. I fear for him being bullied or teased in primary school.
I definitely feel better writing down my thoughts here in this forum and meeting everyone who’s so support and in similar situations. Am taking it one day at a time, and reminding myself to be grateful for my wonderful healthy children. -
LJHLJH:
Young kids can be brutally honest. For that, I will consider moving the child one level down, in a smaller school setup and a small class size. It is very bad for his self-esteem.
It really broke my heart when his preschool mates asked me why he talks 'rubbish'. I know he felt it too, though he can't express himself.
For the meantimes, if ever any kid comes to you to tell you this again, just tell the kid that your son is not spouting rubbish, he has a special way to speak and only very special people can understand what he means.
When you come to terms to accept him as who he is, the disappointment and hurt will not be that bad. Focus on his virtues then others will see what you see in him. Take care. -
Thanks IJJ and agreed, I think if I’d stood up for him to what his friend had said, he’ll learn that it’s ok to be different and not something to be ashame of. I think building his self esteem is equally if not more impt than getting his speech right.
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Can definitely understand your feelings of helplessness, fear and anxiety, being a parent to a special needs child myself.
Take the cue from your child when it comes to pacing, and dont push it if your child is not ready. it is understandable that as parents we want the best for our kids and would try our best to provide as much as possible, but the downside is that it could backfire if the child is not ready and over-stimulated.
if you need to defer schooling, so be it. let the child improve at his pace. I have already mentally prepped myself that my child will be later than her peers, although i am still hopeful that she could catch up.
your hubby may have made his comments out of confusion and helplessness. we all go through periods of denial and anger when such things happen. the most important thing is that we as parents dont give up and try our best to improve the situation even while we go through a self-healing process ourselves.
it is tough, spiritually and physically. but dont give up and do hang on. we as parents owe that much to our kids.
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