Childcare or no Childcare?
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toddles:
hi toddles, i think u've summed it up perfectly :celebrate:I guess sometimes it also depends on the age of the child, the child's personality and the quality of care at the cc.
for some children, 18 months is really too young, and they really cannot adapt and cry their eyeballs out for a month or more.
for some children, their personality is such that they adapt quickly and are more independent anyway, so no prob.
some cc have teachers that are not caring / have too many kids to handle that they might not be able to soothe / reassure a frightened insecure child.
on the parents' part, if they ascertain that the teachers will be responsible and caring, and their kid is not totally unready, then the best advice I got from a principal was that the parent must totally let go first. internally. such that the kid will get those vibes and be more confident and assured eventually too. :celebrate:
it wasn't difficult for me to let go cos dd was having terrible twos at that time. i had enough of her unreasonable crying (as in crying for no reason) otherwise i dun think i could have been able to bear it
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Hi toddles, yeah it’s true that personality makes a difference too. My boy is quite sociable and he adapted quite quickly when he started childcare.
But my friend’s daughter, who is v shy and introverted, really had problems. She used to cling to my friend’s leg or run and hide whenever friends/relatives visited their house. So she had alot of trouble adapting to school. She cried everyday for weeks and kept coming up with excuses not to go to school, saying she’s not feeling well, has stomachache, etc. But eventually she got used to it, made some friends, and now she’s more confident. -
Hi myoffspring
My DD cry on n off for a month and her voice became hoarse from her crying/screaming. After that, she's ok liao.
Hope your kid get used to it soon.
myoffspring:
My 19 mth just started cc this week and has been crying badly everyday...very heartpain..my mil thinks I am a heartless mother to send child to cc at such a tender age..i want her to attend cc to learn more and be independent rather watching tv programmes at home daily. But I am also afraid that all this crying wil kill her interest in learning and develop a phobia of going to school .
Would appreciate to get advice from parents here...many thanks.. -
[quote]If you make a big deal out of saying goodbye and you keep lingering around with a worried face, your kid can sense your anxiety and may get more nervous. So it's better to just be casual about it, say \"bye, have fun!' and just be cheerful. [/quote]
I do agree with you! it is an ideal way to deal with early days of childcare.
BUT a word of caution; parents have to supervise the situation; plus need of that time is to make close contact with child carer!
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I believe: \"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.\" Katy Jhonson http://www.littlechelseanursery.co.uk/ -
Thanks all for yr valuable advice. Agree that personality plays an important part in readiness for cc. Guess my child is the first grandchild and very pampered by both hb and my parents… she is quite an extreme case…has nightmares, down with fever and flu, and passed greenish motion which my in laws said is due to shock…mil said too much crying will affect child health and she also noticed that my child swollowed alot of mucus after all that crying because teachers r too busy to clean her nose for her…
After much struggle, hb decided to put on hold for two months to let her get over this trama… -
Hi,
I need advises from mummies here. Many thanks!
My intention is to put my 2yrs+ girl in full day ccc in 2 weeks time.
Is it better to let her adjust gently by going for half days for first week followed by full days from second week onwards? or full days from first day onwards?
She has not been in ccc before, only 2 hrs playgroup for past 3 months. My worry is she will get culture shock of having to adjust to new environment, new friends, new teachers, bathe by teacher, sleep there etc, all within a day. Half day is good for first week but she will have to adjust 2 times, double wham.
I want her to start on the right footing and enjoy going to ccc. -
Hi dokomo
Does the centre allow you to start off with half days then switch to full days? If you can do that, maybe that will help. Some centres don’t even allow parents to hang around and accompany their kids after the first day. It’s very hard to let go, I know! Totally understand your worries.
Yes childcare can be quite traumatic for the kids initially. Esp if you go directly into the full day program. But it’s sort of like throwing them in the deep end of the pool. They usually learn to swim much faster.
I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to worry too much. Children are usually hardier than we think. Just work closely with the teachers and centre manager, find out how your girl is adapting, ask them to let you know how you can help. All the best! -
dokomo:
Hi, if you can, start gently with half-day first. In fact the first few days when I put my boy in childcare, I picked him up earlier than usual. Gradually after he get use to it after few days, we left him longer & longer. If your girl could not get use to it the first few days yet you left her there to cry and cry, don't think it is so good. If she can stop crying after a while it is ok. But my boy in the first week will stop and then start crying again intermittently.Hi,
I need advises from mummies here. Many thanks!
My intention is to put my 2yrs+ girl in full day ccc in 2 weeks time.
Is it better to let her adjust gently by going for half days for first week followed by full days from second week onwards? or full days from first day onwards?
She has not been in ccc before, only 2 hrs playgroup for past 3 months. My worry is she will get culture shock of having to adjust to new environment, new friends, new teachers, bathe by teacher, sleep there etc, all within a day. Half day is good for first week but she will have to adjust 2 times, double wham.
I want her to start on the right footing and enjoy going to ccc.
As for \"throwing the kid into the deep end\". Well, I am not a risk-taker with my kid. What is damaged cannot be reversed so I will rather take the gentle way out.
All the best!
:celebrate: -
Thanks for both your advises.
Yes, the centre allows me to start with half days and proceed to full days after that. (but I am still paying full days fees) She will have an excursion on her 3rd day, i am hoping she will enjoy it and like school.
I will probably put her there half day on first day and see how it goes from second days onwards. Guess I am the one who is more anxious. She has already said she doesn't want to go to school when i prepared her mentally for full day school and how school will be fun. -
All the best dokomo, hope your girl adjusts well to school!
My friend’s daughter just started attending pre-nursery this year. She cried like mad the first week, still cried during the 2nd week but not so badly, 3rd week she was ok but still a bit reluctant. She took a while to adapt but now she totally loves going to school!
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