In-law problems?

[LOLMum]

janet_lee88:

cwc:

[quote=\"jedamum\"]Hi Chinchin,

I am more traditional. Wife of the eldest son or wives of sons, should be more devoted to the husband's family in such times of needs. However, I empathise with your situation because of your MIL's selfishness.

Hi Jedamum,
No offense.....but personally, I feel that it is this kind of expectation set upon the wives of eldest son or sons that makes things extra difficult. Every family has their own lives to lead, every family member should do their part in whichever way they can contribute. To me, ALL the children have a responsibility to his or her own parents...be it son or daughter. I will expect more from my own children than my daughter-in-law or son-in-law....won't you?

Guess it's because I am a DIL hence we probably would be holding opposite views.......

The children should be the ones looking after their parents...if the daughter-in-law is expected to look after the PILs, there will be some unhappiness and resentment.[/quote]
likewise, the sons would feel resentful having to contribute to his pils' upkeeping or even looking after them too. it would be worse if the wife is a sahm.

[BeContented]

janet_lee88:

The children should be the ones looking after their parents...if the daughter-in-law is expected to look after the PILs, there will be some unhappiness and resentment.

I feel that if all own children contribute, it helps. Normally the resentment from DIL stems from the fact that they are loaded with the responsibilities & expected to take on unconditionally. If the children are not involved, it's very unfair to the DIL & family. We need to put ourselves in the shoes of both being a daughter & a DIL.

LOLMum:

likewise, the sons would feel resentful having to contribute to his pils' upkeeping or even looking after them too. it would be worse if the wife is a sahm.

Hmmmm, as a previously working person, I think the sons will have to somewhat change their mindset. If it was a mutual agreement to have one become sahm, with PILs who are understanding, accommodate & do not expect as much as before (if situation permits), the son should not be resentful.
We gave up our financial independence for the good of our family and that is not equal to dumping our parents. If the wife's parents still require financial help & hubby not willing, perhaps we should not quit then. Our children & parents both need us. Perhaps I'm not as tradition, while I will try to place a slightly higher priority for my hubby's interest/family, there is a limit. My own parents are equally important, not just his.

[BeContented]

Hee hee....now a bad SIL


I am going out to enjoy......MIL took leave to help take care grandchildren ..... I find it too noisy at home ...... going in search for another haven - library and Popular Anyway, since MIL always claims it's very EASY, my help not needed right?!?!?! :evil:

[janet88]

I just heard from hubby his parents are returning next Tue, after eating 3 months of potatoes. She must have missed eating the economy rice downstairs. Asked hubby why his mother doesn’t want to extend another 3 months since the daughter’s 2 sons are still so small…he said she can’t take it anymore.

[LOLMum]

hi janet_lee88,


i think she miss you :evil: :rotflmao:

[janet88]

LOLMum:

hi janet_lee88,


i think she miss you :evil: :rotflmao:

You make my hair stand. :dowan:
No lah, she doesn't miss me. I tell you what she misses:

*Economy rice downstairs her block
*Hair-dresser downstairs her block
*Gossiping downstairs her block

[LOLMum]

and :nunchuk: you

[janet88]

LOLMum:

and :nunchuk: you

No way can she do that...I stay ARMS LENGTH and MILES AWAY.
Very busy and stressed now, so don't add unnecessary oil or I will burst.

[LOLMum]

janet_lee88:

LOLMum:

and :nunchuk: you

No way can she do that...I stay ARMS LENGTH and MILES AWAY.
Very busy and stressed now, so don't add unnecessary oil or I will burst.

oops, my bad, dont mean to do that.

[janet88]

I know you're just joking. :laugh:

Honestly, it's been rather peaceful these 3 months. From what I see, they won't be going there again...it took 2 sons to literally drag them to airport this time...see lah, look after daughter's grandsons also reluctant.