Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

[claramolee]

sorry friend, i am strongly against the divorce..life is one time so maximum enjoy the small life..some problems may arise in life but try to face that problem with good courage..

[Funz]

claramolee:

sorry friend, i am strongly against the divorce..life is one time so maximum enjoy the small life..some problems may arise in life but try to face that problem with good courage..

Agree that divorce should never be taken lightly but in some cases, divorce may be a better solution.

[mistychances]

insider:

PI evidence are useful if in need during divorce proceeding. Cost of a PI is about S$800 / day

hi insider

my friend is considering a divorce coz husband is having affair. But she enquired about cost of PI and was told it'll be about $4800 for 32 hours of work. That's a lot of money for her.

Your advice on $800 seems very much more reasonable. I would really appreciate if you can advise me some contacts.

thank you.

[mistychances]

Fluffy:

mincy:

I hope you record down the conversation/confession with the China girl and your hubby. if you haven't I suggest you find a chance to record concrete evidence e,g, photograph his handphone messages, reciepts etc. Might save you some money in PI cost.

So far, she did not need to engage a PI as she has enough evidence to fight her case due to her alertness.

hi my friend consulted a lawyer and accdg to him, only evidence from PI can be submitted. is it correct? Coz now she's troubled about the money to hire PI, if own evidence can be used then it will definitely be a relief for her.

thank you for your advice.

[pink_daisy]

erm…can somebody pm me a good lawyer’s contact too? many tx

[moonpie]

Marriage is about commitment and is not about \"feelings\" anymore as the years go by. Old couples will be fooling themselves to expect the same old feelings or that the grass is greener outside. Unless there is spousal/kids abuse, marriage must be saved at all attempts...Have read cases where couples are nearly divorced but then got back for last minute effort and now their marriage is so much better than before. It is the willingness of both hearts that makes it work. If you stop searching for happiness outside, you will realise that happiness can be found right under your nose...it was just buried and just need the right tools to unbury it.

pink_daisy:

hi & tx to all who had replied me or had adviced me against divorce.

hub & i already had many issues and though we had talked about it, there are still some heartknots & heartthorns inside us. perhaps there is such thing as personality incompartibility? issues including his mother & sisters too so...is kinda knotty..afterall, u cant really expect him to always have to make a choice between own mum & wife??

as one has said, life is short & we do not know wat's going to happen so is the same for a relationship. i know hub & i are holding on becoz of the kids. we hardly talk about other things except kids. nothing to talk about, i guess.

but as the kids grow up, they need lesser & lesser of us to be around them. they will have their own friends, own programs etc..do we wait till they are old enough to earn their own keeps while we are old enough to semi-retired to know wat's love?

my kids & i have talked about divorce & they sorta know wat to expect. is a big step to take but i have already wasted 10yrs of my life on this man, do i have to continue with it?

im sure every woman or even everyone would like to have someone to love & dote on u..someone to share almost everything with..someone whom u know will walk with u till old age..im not encouraging divorce but is just that sometimes a divorce really will benefit all parties becoz everybody deserves to be happy..

just sharing...

[tracytmks]

hubby got EMA as i suspected in mar this year. His hp bill $200 plus lots of oseas calls. call everyday n one day can call more than 4 times. working on shift. oso if to file seperation any cheap lawyer to recomm? nw wat i worry is my gal no one to bring her hm after her 3hrs kindergarden(k1). currently is my mil taking care she is staying with us. relationship wif her is sour most of the time quarrel wif hubby cause of her. she is not spontaneous enough i m a working mum. everyday got to rush hm like mad women. go hm wash floor, my clothes eat dinner then go bring my younger son at nanny hse. so routine n stress. nite time got to take care of both she no need. long weekend is the worst both will fight. mil sometimes bo chap.


how cld u forgive ur spouse for straying so easily. till now i still cannot forgive n forget, staying under the same roof somemore. wanted to "d" but thoughts of the kids. lately his attitude also change last time when he is not working, he will sit infront of tv watch show. lately sudden change play with the kids . last time will just sit there see tv eyes glue tightly to it. so far i had no concrete proof what his r/s with tt gal. what made me puzzle is he keep on saying not enoug ppl need to do OT. where got ppl work more than 24hrs and is almost everyday. currently he is working shift work. got more to come suddenly bring hm so many clothes which i had nvr see him wear before. all this really made me more suspicious. talk to him awhile, his mood swing say u dont trust him. he said he want freedom sick of this family life. He said i never thinks of others made him no friend, no relatives. he want to go co D&D, friends wedding etc i let him go as long as he is in spore i m fine. he secretly go made new passport, go jb with tt gal somemore. although i had no proof but when call his hp is off, call office they said he had left for the day already. didnt come home til next morning abt 9am tell me got to finish work then come hm i know all this are lies but cannot confront him. he did not even pay a single cents for the kids fees, insur, milk powder, diapers, etc. when press him keepon telling me give him one more yr. yrs n yrs had past still no progress. got money spend on EMA no money for the kids.

Sometimes can even didn’t come home and sleep when asked will always the same reason not enough people got to cover duties. All these are lies.

[smartmummy]

Dark Hope:

buds:

[quote=\"fussyMummy\"]Personally think is the LOVE , which will make you forgive, willing to give more chances, awaiting someone to change...


Think more than twice...

I agree with you on this one, fussyMummy. :snuggles:

One cannot always choose to stay with the spouse citing child-related
reasons... the love in your heart for your spouse must also still be there
to make it work... to rebuild what may have been lost along the way of a
marriage. Divorce will NOT make problems go away.. :hugs:

thanks for all your advice but ... i'm living in fear with her everyday as one day i might go to jail for nothing if she always made false reports to the police. i do have love for her since we have been married for 5 years and have 2 little children. But .....[/quote]Hi!
Did you analyse why your wife make false call to police?Simple psycology she wants you to change your behaviour or something and she really wants a happy family life.If both of you communicate and listen each other views and understand each other well... no need police reports.

[smartmummy]

Hi Dark Hope!

I have PM to you.Pleace check ur inbox

[smartmummy]

Hi everyone!

Please read the following thread under the Relationship category.
A good read - DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?