So angry, be warn, this is a rant session

[Faun]

cwc:

However, in this case, it was another mommy whom I knew got concerned and feedback to me (her DD will tell her about what happened in sch & comments/complain) And that's how I got to know and started asking DD about the situation. DD was so blur that she's not even aware of it until I started asking a lot about the project. TO her, it's ok....that gal has been behaving that way to her (ignore most of the times and on a few occasions, nice). I would have totally ignored it if not for the fact that that GAL is trying to omit DD's name from the project, which I thot was not right nor fair. Guess, depending on situation, we may have to intervene esp. when the child is the blur kind.

Hi CWC,

You know how sometimes stories get peppered along as they travel from one person to another. Do you think the 3rd party you hear from has her own agenda or just trying
to help? Sorry to doubt your friend but sometimes I think friends can help us in the wrong way too.

I think whether the group has authority to kick your dd out of team, it's for teacher to decide. You may want to intervene but sometimes it can appear petty as parents are not directly involve in the project, so it's going to be a lot of 'She says, I say, They say'. No hard evidence. If your dd is in this group only for this project. You may want to consider to wait the situation out. It will pass. DD can also have a chance to work things out herself. What don't break her will make her. There are more projects to come.

About that girl blowing hot and cold in her friendship with your dd, it's pretty normal for gals that age. My dd just got dumped by her best friend 2 weeks ago. She was hurt and confused. Like you, I analyzed the problem with her. DD concludes that it's not her fault. That friend was just getting b****y. Yes a lot of girls get b****y P5 onwards. Got to do with hormones, mood swings, stress I guess. I took the opportunity to remind her to nurture herself as her No.1 best friend so she will never be lonely. Friends come and go but you are always there for yourself. I think they call this intra-personal skills.

[Faun]

jedamum,


My ds once had a big quarrel with his best friend in the computer room. It was so bad both of them were screaming at each other. Form teacher punished them to stay back in school until 2 pm with big lecture.

Ha ha. The next day, the two were playing like nothing happened the day before. That’s what I like about boys, they forgive and forget very fast. For girls, aye… a lot of sulking. Hell knows no fury like a woman’s wrath :x

[BeContented]

cwc:

However, in this case, it was another mommy whom I knew got concerned and feedback to me (her DD will tell her about what happened in sch & comments/complain) And that's how I got to know and started asking DD about the situation. DD was so blur that she's not even aware of it until I started asking a lot about the project. TO her, it's ok....that gal has been behaving that way to her (ignore most of the times and on a few occasions, nice). I would have totally ignored it if not for the fact that that GAL is trying to omit DD's name from the project, which I thot was not right nor fair. Guess, depending on situation, we may have to intervene esp. when the child is the blur kind.

Faun:

Hi CWC,
You know how sometimes stories get peppered along as they travel from one person to another. Do you think the 3rd party you hear from has her own agenda or just trying to help? Sorry to doubt your friend but sometimes I think friends can help us in the wrong way too.

I think whether the group has authority to kick your dd out of team, it's for teacher to decide. You may want to intervene but sometimes it can appear petty as parents are not directly involve in the project, so it's going to be a lot of 'She says, I say, They say'. No hard evidence. If your dd is in this group only for this project. You may want to consider to wait the situation out. It will pass. DD can also have a chance to work things out herself. What don't break her will make her. There are more projects to come.

Hi Faun, thanks for your advice. Appreciate it
Frankly, I have never once intervened or gone to the teacher for both my kids. I too hold the believe that kids being kids, it's normally not serious and will pass. Must let them learn to handle. Only intervene when absolutely necessary.
In this case, it was only becos' the GAL has been shooing DD away and didn't allow her to join in the new project, hence she can't contribute....so became a little more 'serious'. But since DD managed to help on last meeting, I'll wait & see. If I ever speak to teacher (only if her name is really omitted), I'll only want the teacher to investigate and take appropriate action ie. put DD name back in if she has contributed (actually, she did before the group abandoned the old theme)
I also know about all these \"U say, I say they say\" which will become \"I din say, I dun mean this, I said that\"...I dun want to get into that mess esp with this friend

As for the friend, I know her agenda & personally had a not-so-good experience with her b4, so normally I will check with DD's words against hers. In fact, the friend was asking and asking me to call up the GAL & mom to apply pressure ........ I refused. And friend tried stopping me from approaching Teacher and even wanted to go along (which I simply cannot understand why). In the end, she went to the GAL herself & I know jolly well, she had used me as the 'bad guy' :x But I'll close my eye for now, will ask DD to choose her group carefully next time.

Maybe I'll share experience with 'friend'. During 1st week sch, DD was absent while Teacher was pairing up buddies. Friend's DD (aka Fd) wanted to join new friend, din volunteer, so a nice gal offered to buddy DD, DD happy with her A few days later, Fd asked DD for help - want to buddy my DD now. Fd herself is a picky girl and apparently her buddy too...so having conflicts. While I dun mind helping Fd, it's not fair to push DD's current buddy over esp. she has offered to buddy DD. So told friend I need to seek opinion of DD's buddy first. Know what? Friend said....it's ok, her daughter will take over DD's buddy and ask my DD to buddy with her daughter's buddy (when she had complaint so much about that girl being difficult). Can you imagine my :x, here I was thinking of helping her, there she selfishly tried to push the bucket over to my DD. Sigh. So in the end, I refused to change.

Faun:

About that girl blowing hot and cold in her friendship with your dd, it's pretty normal for gals that age. My dd just got dumped by her best friend 2 weeks ago. She was hurt and confused. Like you, I analyzed the problem with her. DD concludes that it's not her fault. That friend was just getting b****y. Yes a lot of girls get b****y P5 onwards. Got to do with hormones, mood swings, stress I guess. I took the opportunity to remind her to nurture herself as her No.1 best friend so she will never be lonely. Friends come and go but you are always there for yourself. I think they call this intranet-personal skills.

True Since, we are all girls before, we know just how girls behave Just let them learn

[SAHM_TAN]

jedamum:

My ds2 almost got into a fight today. I was outside the playroom and could not hear the conversation going on inside. First that boy threw a plastic ball at my ds2 (not those type of 'catch' game). It caught my attention but because ds2 was smiling, I guessed they must be playing. Then after the boys ran around the room for a while, I noticed ds2's expression changed. Then I saw that boy pinching ds2 - a quick pinch. I stood up but waited to see how ds2 would react. He pushed the boy and the boy pushed back and then ds2 raised his fist, I rushed into the room. I scolded ds2 that he should not push people. Then I asked that boy why he pinched ds2. I asked him twice and he kept quiet. Knowing that he (ds2) was in trouble, he wanted me to leave the playroom, and I did. The two did not play together thereafter although ds2 was clearly still in distress (I could see from the glass panelled wall. After a while, he came out sobbing and I asked him why he got into a fight and he gave me ridiculous reasons. After explaining and getting him to promise never to do it again, he hooked my finger and begged me not to tell the dad. Then he went back to play. I was still contemplating whether to confront that boy's mother for the pinching incident, but dismissed it after seeing that both boys played together again after a while.

That boy looks (size and maturity) like a lower/mid pri student (he was carrying a iphone around). My ds2 is only in K1.

You very cool. I usually only bring them to play area that I can go in too. Because when young kids play sometimes they get too \"crazy\". Plus older kids don't usually give way to younger ones. So if I can go in, I will be like traffic police, directing my kids :lol: :lol:

[kaka]

insider:

Below I shared few months back in the 'Teaching Values' thread.


In every 'crisis', there's always something valuable that a child can learn and grow stronger. Children should learn in tiny steps from young how to turn a negative situation into a positive one and how to turn tears into laughters (with a change of mindset)...

insider:

My 18 years old daughter just returned from Japan with her best friends from her primary school. Looking at their 10 years of friendship made me recall this little story that I once shared with my friend.

Cut and paste here to share with all:

毛毛是娃娃从小二就认识的朋友，她就住在我旧家的对面。

两个孩子每天手牵手一起上学、蹦蹦跳跳一起游玩。

再好的友情都会有被挑战的一天。在娃娃约小四那年，两人发生了‘很大’的口角。娃娃和我说了她的委屈，两人就从此不相往来。

我看着看着她两个礼拜左右，发现事情还是没有好转的迹象。

我就开始向她循循善诱的开导了。

我问她不相往来了她就是不是开心点了呢？

她扁着嘴说不开心，但她没有错，所以是不会先开口的。

我就说毛毛也会认为她没有错呀，那怎么是好呢？

我鼓励她‘放下’，告诉她妈妈相信她是受委屈了，但是那个委屈还不值得失去一个那样好的朋友。我浅白的告诉她‘度量’的重要。

说完了我的道理，孩子得靠自己的智慧去消化了（那是逼不来的）。

她想着想着，结果还是自己真的背着我打电话给毛毛冰释前嫌呢！

这件小事，毛毛的妈妈也知道。在楼下碰到面时还会夸娃娃的懂事而责备自己孩子的不是。

娃娃对这件事的印象是很深刻的。她有时还在感激我为她保留住了一个那么要好的朋友…

和你讲过，‘宽容’－　是我教育孩子的一个主要课题之一；因‘宽容’使大家的路都走得轻松点、开心点…

因‘宽容’使大家的路都走得轻松点、开心点… :love: :goodpost: