All About Full-Time Maids

[Gluttonish]

Tricky right? i think maids and in-laws are a woman’s greatest headache, when two combine, its unbeatable.

[BeContented]

Gluttonish:

Tricky right? i think maids and in-laws are a woman's greatest headache, when two combine, its unbeatable.

Ladies, they are the 'perfect combination'.....惊天动地, nobody can get away with it once it gets triggered :stupid:
I have suffered for 6 years.....enjoyed life cos' maidless for 3 years, now back to suffering mode....and now, it's smack right at my face cos' in my house liao.

Honestly, sometimes very difficult for the maid cos' they have to look at sooo many bosses, they dun know what to do. So really need to state your priority clearly to in-laws.....need hubby involvement too if need be....but be prepared, there will still be a lot of grey areas.

Sorry, I just have a 'fight' with MIL, so feel like venting now.
MIL likes to load fridge to max just for a Sun meal that she cook for all. (other days, I'm in-charge). Come every Fri, MIL will lose temper at me/maid claim not enough space for HER food. Last Fri, MIL load to max, Sat made DH go marketing again, so I told DH fridge full, dun get so much. DH came home scold me cos' the mom tear, claiming she got nothing inside. I got so pissed, started dumping my stuff sauces/food etc from the fridge, cleared up 2 shelves for her. MIL fill to brim (even the 2 veg/fruit compartment). After she cooked, leftover a lot.....panic...start instructing maid on leftover ingredient, next day must cook etc etc. DH overheard, questioned & she claim, just a bit left....then passed sarcastic remark at me saying she would be sooooo happy if people leave food for her to cook.....DH glared at MIL to shut up. Lucky she did, I was still fuming with DH for scolding me as tho I'm the one lying. Today, I cooked all MIL's leftover stuff, still have enough for another 2 days. MIL then started scolding maid why didn't cook more ..... cos the fridge still full of her stuff, so she worried. I just cannot imagine how life will be later .....

Also, before DH started going healthy ie. add some brown rice to white rice, I have a small packet for cooking lunch for my kids. After the fridge incident, MIL stopped maid from adding the brown rice, claim I am the ONLY one who wants the brown rice, she does not like and makes the rice hard. So the maid stuck....put or dun??? So I have to ask DH to act....he came home and gave instructions LOUDLY to maid to add in MORE brown rice, MIL silent. So while i'm venting here, poor maid is getting MIL's :rant: outside and I can't do anything......just have to tell maid, try to endure at times. So sometimes, when MIL involved, we need to be a little more lenient to the maid....cos' I feel that sometimes, MIL dare not openly fire us....so they made use of the maid....if u hear what MIL scolds, you'll know what I mean. So maid is a like a shield sometimes........

Oops....just realised I posted at wrong thread.....it should fall under in-law problems.....but since typed liao, will leave it alone :oops:

[Funx3]

cwc:

So while i'm venting here, poor maid is getting MIL's :rant: outside and I can't do anything......just have to tell maid, try to endure at times. So sometimes, when MIL involved, we need to be a little more lenient to the maid....cos' I feel that sometimes, MIL dare not openly fire us....so they made use of the maid....if u hear what MIL scolds, you'll know what I mean. So maid is a like a shield sometimes........

Poor Maid ....
Really Empathise with Her \"Zhu Ba Jie Zhao Jing Zi, Li Wai Bu Shi Ren\" ....

[BeContented]

Funx3:

cwc:

So while i'm venting here, poor maid is getting MIL's :rant: outside and I can't do anything......just have to tell maid, try to endure at times. So sometimes, when MIL involved, we need to be a little more lenient to the maid....cos' I feel that sometimes, MIL dare not openly fire us....so they made use of the maid....if u hear what MIL scolds, you'll know what I mean. So maid is a like a shield sometimes........

Poor Maid ....
Really Empathise with Her \"Zhu Ba Jie Zhao Jing Zi, Li Wai Bu Shi Ren\" ....

Yes, that's why many a times, I close 1 eye cos' her life not that easy. Cannot stand up for her cos' if I do that, MIL will start to be ridiculous & start picking on every single thing. So as long as the basic cleanliness is maintained, the maid better make sure she clean OLD lady's room and do the chores the OLD lady instruct properly. I will still look after my own house eg. vacuum/wipe my own & kids' cabinets, fans & room, do a thorough wash of my room toilet weekly etc.

[peapot]

Gluttonish, you are right!!! I just asked my maid and she admitted that she wants the off day. I have already given in to her praying 5 times a day, long hair, off day what else is next?? Hp??? She smiles and say yes…if not for the supply crunch, I would have axed her!!! Maybe she will ask for boyfriend!!!

[peapot]

Actually mummies, I know its pretty hard to get along with MIL but do you know sometimes its good to have them around? Like my case, I do not have inlaws because they passed away before we got married. So, my gal is brought up by maids and no one else. when the maid goes crazy, I have no one to turn to for help. It would be ideal when you have someone at home with the maid. You will have peace of mind.

[BeContented]

peapot:

Actually mummies, I know its pretty hard to get along with MIL but do you know sometimes its good to have them around? Like my case, I do not have inlaws because they passed away before we got married. So, my gal is brought up by maids and no one else. when the maid goes crazy, I have no one to turn to for help. It would be ideal when you have someone at home with the maid. You will have peace of mind.

Hi,
yes....sometimes good to have them around....I do agree, have peace of mind. But in my case, MIL is the one driving my maids crazy and chasing all of them away :skeptical:

[Littlefly]

peapot:

Gluttonish, you are right!!! I just asked my maid and she admitted that she wants the off day. I have already given in to her praying 5 times a day, long hair, off day what else is next?? Hp??? She smiles and say yes.....if not for the supply crunch, I would have axed her!!!!! Maybe she will ask for boyfriend???!!!!

Peapot - sounds like your maid is taking your for granted. I feel indignant for you. :mad: Agree that many maids would love to be in her shoes, especially some who work non-stop during the day on housework, taking care of young children and needs of elderly.

Has she worked long and already cleared her loan ? do you get any free replacement ? Sometimes they think they are indispensable. Likely when she gets to go out and meet friends, next she would demand a handphone coz that's the way to keep in contacts with them for next meet-ups etc.

[Littlefly]

cwc:

yes....sometimes good to have them around....I do agree, have peace of mind. But in my case, MIL is the one driving my maids crazy and chasing all of them away :skeptical:

Cwc, certainly do not envy the position you are in. Sounds like 'politics' where your MIL is trying (unconsciously?) to assert her influence. Possible to :siam: and let her own the overall marketing/ cooking ?

[beanstalk]

Peapot, if she’s generally sensible, honest and clean, just give in graciously if your situation allows it. Don’t think of it as a power struggle. It will earn you her loyalty in the long run and help cement your relationship. One off day won’t turn her into a bad apple, especially if the praying bit is sincere.


I am in a similar position, with my helper telling me within the first month that she found it boring in the afternoons (in her previous employment, she singlehandedly cared for 3 kids in the daytime). My assessment is that she is the hardworking type and likes to keep busy. I got her to try new recipes and do baking. Maybe your helper has other interests that can keep her occupied (borrow books in her language?). Someone I know allows her helper to make kueh and stuff for sale (word of mouth only; her helper keeps what profit there is after deducting the cost price of ingredients).