Growing apart

[Sotong_mum]

Jennifer:

I read that being parents, we need to grow up with our children. At different stages, we perform different roles.


What about with our spouse?

For my case, both my DH and I are growing up with our children and have neglected our own bonding. This somehow has drifted us apart to a certain extent. It has become so difficult to have our private time after work.

[smartmummy]

Jennifer:

I read that being parents, we need to grow up with our children. At different stages, we perform different roles.


What about with our spouse?

:skeptical:

[smartmummy]

I feel very fed up and I can’t read all those suggestion.It is easier said than done.No one is perfect.Some men can helpful others not.I failed to take single help from my DH.I try 200 way.I just knock my head on the wall.He simply said I don’t know how to do.From day 1 to until now.He doesn’t speak.When I said something he always said mm mm means yes.Sometimes he didn’t understand just say yes.Then next time he doesn’t know how to do.But I see here some fathers willing to take care their baby.i think depends on how they cultivate.IF their father help to mother then they also help to his wife.

[Jennifer]

smartmummy:

I feel very fed up and I can't read all those suggestion.It is easier said than done.No one is perfect.Some men can helpful others not.I failed to take single help from my DH.I try 200 way.I just knock my head on the wall.He simply said I don't know how to do.From day 1 to until now.He doesn't speak.When I said something he always said mm mm means yes.Sometimes he didn't understand just say yes.Then next time he doesn't know how to do.But I see here some fathers willing to take care their baby.i think depends on how they cultivate.IF their father help to mother then they also help to his wife.

Hugs to you.

If possible, outsource hsehold chores to part time helper.

[smartmummy]

Jennifer:

smartmummy:

I feel very fed up and I can't read all those suggestion.It is easier said than done.No one is perfect.Some men can helpful others not.I failed to take single help from my DH.I try 200 way.I just knock my head on the wall.He simply said I don't know how to do.From day 1 to until now.He doesn't speak.When I said something he always said mm mm means yes.Sometimes he didn't understand just say yes.Then next time he doesn't know how to do.But I see here some fathers willing to take care their baby.i think depends on how they cultivate.IF their father help to mother then they also help to his wife.

Hugs to you.

If possible, outsource hsehold chores to part time helper.

thanks for your comfort,My DH not allowed take part time helper as he scared for insecurity (if maid has boyfried then they will come and steal something in our house).So what can I do?

[smartmummy]

LOLMum:

never never focus all your attention on kids and neglect spouse. big mistake. i dont need all those drama, tears and heartaches when i am old.

its very true.I also have same thinking as you.I try very harder for it.when i want to communicate with my husband he doesn't want to listen.I think I should have to read \"Five love languages for family\".

You can read this thread under \"relationship\" is very useful.
How do you maintain your relationship with your spouse?

[smartmummy]

cherrygal:

Maybe I will be more submissive if I become sahm for a longer period.

if i were working i have to do all the chores or anyone else have to do.So I don't want to work.cos my husband doesn't know how to play with kids.

[Jennifer]

smartmummy:

My DH not allowed take part time helper as he scared for insecurity (if maid has boyfried then they will come and steal something in our house).So what can I do?

Get recommendations from friends who hv reliable part time helper. Or arrange for the helper to come on a day when you are at home.

My hubby also cant play with my boys when they were younger. He does not like board games/building sand castles/anything kiddy. Now the boys are older, they play badminton, soccer, rollerblading all w/o me. A cycle in our family.

[LOLMum]

smartmummy:

LOLMum:

never never focus all your attention on kids and neglect spouse. big mistake. i dont need all those drama, tears and heartaches when i am old.

its very true.I also have same thinking as you.I try very harder for it.when i want to communicate with my husband he doesn't want to listen.I think I should have to read \"Five love languages for family\".

You can read this thread under \"relationship\" is very useful.
How do you maintain your relationship with your spouse?

not easy. trials and errors and still learning. he is definitely not going to be the same man i met 10+ years ago and neither am i the same woman he met ages ago. being a couple, we are able to grow together in many ways (God's blessings) and luckily we have the same aim which is to grow old together. :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: .

oh, i make alot of noise too when he is not listening. and sometimes when i know he is just yes yes, hmmm, hmmm.... then i will just do what i want to do. if he complains, too bad. but sometimes, i dont listen too :evil: .

i hope you will eventually find a way to better the relationship between you two.

cheers

[LOLMum]

smartmummy:

LOLMum:

never never focus all your attention on kids and neglect spouse. big mistake. i dont need all those drama, tears and heartaches when i am old.

its very true.I also have same thinking as you.I try very harder for it.when i want to communicate with my husband he doesn't want to listen.I think I should have to read \"Five love languages for family\".

You can read this thread under \"relationship\" is very useful.
How do you maintain your relationship with your spouse?

not easy. trials and errors and still learning. he is definitely not going to be the same man i met 10+ years ago and neither am i the same woman he met ages ago. being a couple, we are able to grow together in many ways (God's blessings) and luckily we have the same aim which is to grow old together. :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: .

oh, i make alot of noise too when he is not listening. and sometimes when i know he is just yes yes, hmmm, hmmm.... then i will just do what i want to do. if he complains, too bad. but sometimes, i dont listen too :evil: .

i hope you will eventually find a way to better the relationship between you two.

cheers