Club SAHM

[mummy of 2]

Good morning smartmummy

[Angelight]

There is a price to pay for being a SAHM, and that is having to live on a single income, no fancy vacations or restaurant dining and sometimes even a lack of social life. But to me, it's all worth it cos I never missed a single milestone of my child's development. And she is very close to me, physically and emotionally. So it depends on what your priority is. Just don't regret your choice cos you can never turn back the clock.

LeeTaiTai:

Hi I am a ftwm , I just had a pair of twin girls and a 4 hr old. Thinking if I should quit my job to be a sahm buut hubby seems to prefer I work as he feels try to work while I can or until until the kids realli need me to take care ( now maid and mum). I feel I have missed out so much on my #1 progress and is worry if I don spend time with her , she will be closer to my mum in future. She gets jealous cos of her meimei and always threaten to go back my mums place over the weekend . I feel sad when she does that as she used to be closed to me , can't imagine how much time I will have for her once I start work

[SAHM_TAN]

LeeTaiTai:

Hi I am a ftwm , I just had a pair of twin girls and a 4 hr old. Thinking if I should quit my job to be a sahm buut hubby seems to prefer I work as he feels try to work while I can or until until the kids realli need me to take care ( now maid and mum). I feel I have missed out so much on my #1 progress and is worry if I don spend time with her , she will be closer to my mum in future. She gets jealous cos of her meimei and always threaten to go back my mums place over the weekend . I feel sad when she does that as she used to be closed to me , can't imagine how much time I will have for her once I start work

I can understand your feelings, becos my DD1 was very close to my mil when I was working.

As the kids grow older, there will be more expenses, so have to take everything into consideration before you take the step to be a SAHM. It's important to have your DH's support if you want to be a SAHM.

There's a book titled: Siblings without rivalry: how to help your children live together so you can live too / Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish. You can check it out in the public library.

I think as a FTWM, you can still spend time with your kids. I think the difficult task is to keep the wkends free, so that you have time with the kids, and the kids' time are not taken up with enrichment classes.

In the meantime, you could arrange some alone time with your DD1, like take her shopping, outing, etc. After the birth of my DD2, my DS felt a bit left out and would request for hugs, to carry him and such. Sometimes I would cradle him like a baby to let him know that mummy still love him For DD1, it's hug and to do things together like cooking. At night, I try to have bedtime storybook reading with them, a chance for them to cuddle up with me

You could also visit the FTWM club to find out how they balance work and kids

I don't think there's a one best arrangement. It really depends on individual.

:hugs:

[LeeTaiTai]

Thanks all , yes I will consider carefully , sometimes feel a bit stress out and will cry quietly in my room when I feel I am not doing enough , wish I have the energy to do more !

[SAHM_TAN]

LeeTaiTai:

Thanks all , yes I will consider carefully , sometimes feel a bit stress out and will cry quietly in my room when I feel I am not doing enough , wish I have the energy to do more !

:hugs:

Your love is really enough for them, the rest are just icing on the cake

[terry]

LeeTaiTai:

Thanks all , yes I will consider carefully , sometimes feel a bit stress out and will cry quietly in my room when I feel I am not doing enough , wish I have the energy to do more !

lee taitai,
tatz hw i felt last time when i was working. i cried and becm very depressed and took it out on my hb, frends and family. till my hb told me 1 day, if i work until so chiam, then pls quit my job and dun be so selfish to torture my loved ones ard me.

i was becoming such an evil monster! so i took leave and stayed home with my boy,immed my stress level went down and i knew it was time to quit.

last time, my boy when playing with me will accidentally call me 'auntie' (the term he use to address my maid). i was very sad at that time. nw after spending 4mths with him,i overheard him accidentally call my maid 'mummy'! i smiled to myself secretly.. :rahrah:

but then, u have twins n expenses gonna be high since evthg is x2. and yes, u do need ur hb full support cos if resents u staying home then will cause alot of unpleasant feelings in future.

[terry]

SAHM_TAN:

terry:

hi all,

can i join the club?
im quite new sahm since feb this yr.
i have a K1 boy and expecting #2 end of aug also boy.

nw feeling guilty towards #1 cos always tired since im preggy and hence no energy to play with him. even if i do bring him out, i gotta sit down most times and let him play by himself. i feel sorry for him and told him so. but he is so sweet, tells me itz ok, he can play alone.

the bond we built with our kids is immeasurable, even tho i do have my
hair tearing moments.

hope to learn mre frm u guys!

:welcome: of course you can join

I hve 3 kids, K2, N2 and bb

Thanks for the warm welcome!

[smartmummy]

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[MummyThreeStreams]

Hello! Haven’t had time to read through all 94 pages yet. I guess I should join this club too. I have three sons. 6yrs, 3 yrs and 5 months. I have been drifting in and out of SAHM-hood since 2006. I am much happier focusing on my family. I used to be so miserable when I was a FTWM. working PT wasn’t so bad though. DH earns enough to support our growing needs and he is very happy for me to stay home coz I am happier. Also, he doesn’t think anyone else can do a better job at home than I can.


I sometimes wonder what if I had continued on my career path…I was doing very well and was expected to rise far. My pay would’ve doubled…I would have a fancy title with lots of staff under me…

I don’t regret giving it up though, because I remember how miserable it felt to be always so torn between the two worlds, one of which I didn’t even like very much! I always wanted to be home, but was always working instead. My boss was very kind. He told me to go take care of my family first. I could always resume my career later. After all, we can work till our 60s but our window of opportunity with the kids is so small. I appreciated that reminder.

It irks me, though, when I get people tell me that it is such a waste for me to stay home…DH says my children will benefit from my degrees! Although to be honest, I don’t do very much academic stuff with my kids! I just love them and play with them (not even educational games). I think any mum, with or without degrees can do that!

My no pay leave will end next year. We’ll decide our next course of action then. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my kids!

[smartmummy]

:welcome: to the club!