Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce
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smartmummy:
Not everyone is so fortunate to be happily married. Some may marry to get out of the house, some may marry for money. Some may sweet talk into married. Some may still want a clubbing nightlife. Some attention seeker may still want guys to 'sweettalk' them after married. Some may marry because they don't want to lose the HDB deposit. There are many reason why divorce happen and it may be beyond your control.philipsteele:
i absolutely against the divorce,life is only one time so enjoy the life with family.
:hi5: i am in the same boat.
but need two hand to clap! -
philipsteele:
i absolutely against the divorce,life is only one time so enjoy the life with family.
For philipsteele, I'm sure you have a very happy marriage. But you also have to consider many people, whether man/woman who are suffering because they are in an unhappy marriage. Their children suffer a lot too. Some spouse can be abusive, if that's the case, are you still against the divorce. -
bigsnoopy:
Reading the post here sound very familiar to me. Not to divorce because kids are still small. I have a friend whose DH had 2 other women (who had his children) but my friend did not divorce him as she got 4 children in primary school.
Some women choose to close their eyes because even though their DH have affairs, he still treats them well and provide for them and their children. So if they chose to ignore this, they can still lead a comfortable life.
I know a lady who has 3 kids, her DH is doing very well, provides and treats the family very well. But he's keeping a woman outside, this lady knows and chooses to ignore it. Maybe because she's dependent on him and also she's not young and no longer attractive, so she has to ignore the affair in order to continue her comfortable life. -
sall:
Yes. I will probably do the same too until the kids grow older and no longer need financial help from the man. I dont think my friend can provide for 4 kids and still have to rely on the husband who earn quite a lot.bigsnoopy:
Reading the post here sound very familiar to me. Not to divorce because kids are still small. I have a friend whose DH had 2 other women (who had his children) but my friend did not divorce him as she got 4 children in primary school.
Some women choose to close their eyes because even though their DH have affairs, he still treats them well and provide for them and their children. So if they chose to ignore this, they can still lead a comfortable life.
I know a lady who has 3 kids, her DH is doing very well, provides and treats the family very well. But he's keeping a woman outside, this lady knows and chooses to ignore it. Maybe because she's dependent on him and also she's not young and no longer attractive, so she has to ignore the affair in order to continue her comfortable life. -
sall:
Not necessarily HER comfortable life, but as PP said, comfortable life for her children. Children are a very big factor.bigsnoopy:
Reading the post here sound very familiar to me. Not to divorce because kids are still small. I have a friend whose DH had 2 other women (who had his children) but my friend did not divorce him as she got 4 children in primary school.
Some women choose to close their eyes because even though their DH have affairs, he still treats them well and provide for them and their children. So if they chose to ignore this, they can still lead a comfortable life.
I know a lady who has 3 kids, her DH is doing very well, provides and treats the family very well. But he's keeping a woman outside, this lady knows and chooses to ignore it. Maybe because she's dependent on him and also she's not young and no longer attractive, so she has to ignore the affair in order to continue her comfortable life. -
deminc:
Well, in this case, she's really having a comfortable life- stay in bungalow, got a maid to wait on her, go for expensive holidays and have expensive hobbies.
Not necessarily HER comfortable life, but as PP said, comfortable life for her children. Children are a very big factor. -
is it wrong if i m the one who ask for divorce? is there any rules or policy saying tt one party cant initialize D?
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sall:
bigsnoopy:
I know a lady who has 3 kids, her DH is doing very well, provides and treats the family very well. But he's keeping a woman outside, this lady knows and chooses to ignore it. Maybe because she's dependent on him and also she's not young and no longer attractive, so she has to ignore the affair in order to continue her comfortable life.
reading the above is so upsetting. :gloomy: some men are so heartless to leave their wife when the wife has grown old and haggard. she delicated her youth to the family and husband, but in the end, she got herself hurt and a broken marriage
are there any good men out there???
sometime i wonder if its worth being a good wife and mother (xian qi liang mu)... -
sall:
men stray easily when they have $$$
Well, in this case, she's really having a comfortable life- stay in bungalow, got a maid to wait on her, go for expensive holidays and have expensive hobbies.deminc:
Not necessarily HER comfortable life, but as PP said, comfortable life for her children. Children are a very big factor.
even if they dun, women will come after them too
temptation are everywhere... -
things have been happening to a friend of mine and has given me much to think about.
that’s why sometimes it is better not to know of his affairs.
if you have children and the husband is not interested in leaving the family and still a good father, sometimes have to close eyes and maintain harmony in family.
i dont wish to deny my kids of their right to live with the dad, the right to be loved and spend time with him and the right to all the material stuff/education/enrichment/sports/holidays etc which if divorced might not be easily accessible to them. the most important is to be able to say loudly "this is my dad" legally.
i dont wish to have this throw at my kids "this is my daddy now, not yours" or "daddy doesnt love you anymore, he loves us more" that kinda nonsense. neither do i wish to let my kids stay with him and the new family. goodness know what happen.
as a mum, my happiness take second place.
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