How to tell if a child is gifted?
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Hehe, you are not dense lah. It is just how the sporting world is like. Full of politics and strange situations we have to learn. I think sports has taught my children and I a lot about life besides the winning and the losing. There’s a lot more to learn about relationships, about getting to the right books with the right people.
Maybe we can talk about this in another thread. Those involved in competitive sports will know what I mean. No matter which sport. There are tons of politics to handle. Strange people, and to be really honest, opportunities are never equal. We have to teach our kids how to make sure they are equally treated.
Isn’t this life? Like the Real Sporting World (look at all those scandals), like politics (like the IMF chief case), like the real politics (Arnold Sc… don’t know how to spell lah). If he fathered the son so long ago, why is he falling apart now? Because it is time to go. There’s much more than what meets the eye. We fall in favor, we fall out of favor. Life.
Our jobs as parents is to make sure our kids keep falling in favor. Or for as long as possible, no matter which end of the curve they happen to be at, gifted or not. Or when we found out that no matter how hard we try, we keep falling out of favor, we leave for a better place where we are appreciated. Life. -
True. Life.
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SAHM_TAN:
True. Life.
ya, must teach our kids, 一山还有一山高 (for every mountain, there is another higher).
for competitive kids, defeat or loss can be hard to swallow. but it is a valuable lesson to teach indeed. how can we win all the time in life right?
i'm still trying to find good ways to inculcate all these in my boys. -
Not really. People tends to observe both ends and not in between. If saying people will normally empathized the wrong end, no, there are equal number of critics saying the wrong end is just complaining, lazy parent angling for sympathy… If at the right end, who might think you are boosting, there also equal number of parents who can identify with the same issues…
My point is however difficult as a gifted child may be, our society and educational system can accept them better, as they are stronger academically. Not that kind on the other end… So do take in stride for all the relationship problems of a gifted kid…
Our society is academically competitive, kids’ sensitivity and morale are also similar issues at both ends. The least we can do is support the kid to enjoy the learning process.
No, we don’t compare our DS. Let him be. He may be slow, but there isn’t a day that we are not proud to call him our Dear Son… -
2ppaamm:
Hah! This doesn't just occur in sports. In other competition arenas too, judges eyes tend to be \"coloured\" and memories very long. They can remember which instructor is the student of which instructor and that instructor was the student of again another which instructor, etc, etc, the whole lineage! So if anyone along that lineage has offended that judge in anyway - even non-intentionally, that competitor will have very poor ratings. And if that judge is a very influential one, the other judges would give poor ratings too.
Isn't this life? Like the Real Sporting World (look at all those scandals), like politics (like the IMF chief case), like the real politics (Arnold Sc... don't know how to spell lah). If he fathered the son so long ago, why is he falling apart now? Because it is time to go. There's much more than what meets the eye. We fall in favor, we fall out of favor. Life. -
phankao:
So vindictive...... :shock:
Hah! This doesn't just occur in sports. In other competition arenas too, judges eyes tend to be \"coloured\" and memories very long. They can remember which instructor is the student of which instructor and that instructor was the student of again another which instructor, etc, etc, the whole lineage! So if anyone along that lineage has offended that judge in anyway - even non-intentionally, that competitor will have very poor ratings. And if that judge is a very influential one, the other judges would give poor ratings too.2ppaamm:
Isn't this life? Like the Real Sporting World (look at all those scandals), like politics (like the IMF chief case), like the real politics (Arnold Sc... don't know how to spell lah). If he fathered the son so long ago, why is he falling apart now? Because it is time to go. There's much more than what meets the eye. We fall in favor, we fall out of favor. Life. -
ksi:
So vindictive...... :shock:[/quote]Unfortunately it does happen.
Hah! This doesn't just occur in sports. In other competition arenas too, judges eyes tend to be \"coloured\" and memories very long. They can remember which instructor is the student of which instructor and that instructor was the student of again another which instructor, etc, etc, the whole lineage! So if anyone along that lineage has offended that judge in anyway - even non-intentionally, that competitor will have very poor ratings. And if that judge is a very influential one, the other judges would give poor ratings too.phankao:
[quote=\"2ppaamm\"]
Isn't this life? Like the Real Sporting World (look at all those scandals), like politics (like the IMF chief case), like the real politics (Arnold Sc... don't know how to spell lah). If he fathered the son so long ago, why is he falling apart now? Because it is time to go. There's much more than what meets the eye. We fall in favor, we fall out of favor. Life.
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Yep, hv to agree I have seen and experienced it myself. There very little meritocracy in this world.
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2ppaamm
I’m really shocked by what your son’s coach did. That’s not sportsmanship at all. It’s sad looking at the state of sports here. Things were much better before until they start bringing in foreign talents and coaches. My brother was in the national team around 25 years ago, representing Singapore in the SEA Games and Asian Games. His teammates then were his best buddies. They still are. Some got the chance to represent Singapore in the Olympics, others didn’t. But there weren’t any jealousy. And parents were never involved. In fact, those who didn’t make it went out of their way to support those who did. They continued to coach the national team gratuitously after retiring from the sports. I think that’s sportsmanship, and the best takeaway from those years he spent in the national team. But it seems things are differrent now. My brother told me just as much when he was on the NSA board a few years ago. Lots of bickering and backstabbing and interpersonal issues to resolved rather than moving the sports forward.
But I think you’re right to step in. Children and teenagers sometimes listen to their coaches and teachers to their detriment. Unlike parents, coaches or teachers may not have the child’s best interest in mind. A friend was telling me how her girl’s JC teacher persuaded her not to apply to Stanford at the ED stage as she and another boy who was also applying had similar credentials. The girl listened to her teacher and didn’t get in when she applied later, after the boy got in. I think that wasn’t fair to the girl, but my friend didn’t want to kick up a fuss as her husband was chairing the JC’s board of governor and they didn’t want to be perceived as throwing their weight around. But I really feel this should not have happened and she should have got her girl to go ahead without bothering about what the teacher said. -
Rosemummy, yep, sports is in a pathetic state. Not only sport but many aesthetic competitions. It does not help that I am not blind. I can see…
Give you another example. There was a trial in April where all competitors were required to attend, they wanted to select 10 Singapore reps. There were about 20+ who came for selections. I noticed one girl was around the pool but was not in the list. She is top in Singapore. So I asked her why not. Her mother and she gave me bitter smiles. Not wanting to intrude into their privacy, I quickly smiled and took leave.
I was shocked that she got into the team this week. She did not attend the trial, but somehow her mother and the authority by passed all the rules and got her in. I did not want to kick up big fuss and pretended I did not see, because nobody noticed this at all. If I make noise, people will ostracize my children and make life difficult. Especially those in charge who made this decision, and I know who that person is. So I kept mum, we are leaving anyway and will not be in the team, so we shut up.
Such is the situation, there are many, many more which are very unfair. But I learn to use these opportunities to teach my children not to be oblivious, but to be alert. Be aware of such situations, but we need not react every time. I remind them that if they are in a position to change the situation, they should. But since we are not in an influential position in this case, we shut up.
Why did I keep mum? I used to stand up for justice all the time. I made so much noise I notice people afraid to mingle with me in case this person in charge thinks they are with me. But I was not looking for faults. I chanced upon them. Nevermind. This person will not be in power one day. What’s right remains right. But the sad thing is, just as long as this keeps going on, it is hard to move this event forward. Who would want to join such an unfair sport?
I think such bickering stems from parents’ participation to a large extent as well. In those days, we were in charge of our own destiny in sports. Nowadays, our sports/aesthetic performance can determine the school we go to. Therefore, concerned parents want to get involved. This has made this very complicated. It does not help that I am not a very free mother, since I have 5. Those with fewer kids can stay by their kids’ side day in day out, and attend to every need. I have to train my kids to look out for themselves. Blessing in disguise though. They learn to fend for themselves, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.
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