How to tell if a child is gifted?
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phankao:
So vindictive...... :shock:
Hah! This doesn't just occur in sports. In other competition arenas too, judges eyes tend to be \"coloured\" and memories very long. They can remember which instructor is the student of which instructor and that instructor was the student of again another which instructor, etc, etc, the whole lineage! So if anyone along that lineage has offended that judge in anyway - even non-intentionally, that competitor will have very poor ratings. And if that judge is a very influential one, the other judges would give poor ratings too.2ppaamm:
Isn't this life? Like the Real Sporting World (look at all those scandals), like politics (like the IMF chief case), like the real politics (Arnold Sc... don't know how to spell lah). If he fathered the son so long ago, why is he falling apart now? Because it is time to go. There's much more than what meets the eye. We fall in favor, we fall out of favor. Life. -
ksi:
So vindictive...... :shock:[/quote]Unfortunately it does happen.
Hah! This doesn't just occur in sports. In other competition arenas too, judges eyes tend to be \"coloured\" and memories very long. They can remember which instructor is the student of which instructor and that instructor was the student of again another which instructor, etc, etc, the whole lineage! So if anyone along that lineage has offended that judge in anyway - even non-intentionally, that competitor will have very poor ratings. And if that judge is a very influential one, the other judges would give poor ratings too.phankao:
[quote=\"2ppaamm\"]
Isn't this life? Like the Real Sporting World (look at all those scandals), like politics (like the IMF chief case), like the real politics (Arnold Sc... don't know how to spell lah). If he fathered the son so long ago, why is he falling apart now? Because it is time to go. There's much more than what meets the eye. We fall in favor, we fall out of favor. Life.
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Yep, hv to agree I have seen and experienced it myself. There very little meritocracy in this world.
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2ppaamm
I’m really shocked by what your son’s coach did. That’s not sportsmanship at all. It’s sad looking at the state of sports here. Things were much better before until they start bringing in foreign talents and coaches. My brother was in the national team around 25 years ago, representing Singapore in the SEA Games and Asian Games. His teammates then were his best buddies. They still are. Some got the chance to represent Singapore in the Olympics, others didn’t. But there weren’t any jealousy. And parents were never involved. In fact, those who didn’t make it went out of their way to support those who did. They continued to coach the national team gratuitously after retiring from the sports. I think that’s sportsmanship, and the best takeaway from those years he spent in the national team. But it seems things are differrent now. My brother told me just as much when he was on the NSA board a few years ago. Lots of bickering and backstabbing and interpersonal issues to resolved rather than moving the sports forward.
But I think you’re right to step in. Children and teenagers sometimes listen to their coaches and teachers to their detriment. Unlike parents, coaches or teachers may not have the child’s best interest in mind. A friend was telling me how her girl’s JC teacher persuaded her not to apply to Stanford at the ED stage as she and another boy who was also applying had similar credentials. The girl listened to her teacher and didn’t get in when she applied later, after the boy got in. I think that wasn’t fair to the girl, but my friend didn’t want to kick up a fuss as her husband was chairing the JC’s board of governor and they didn’t want to be perceived as throwing their weight around. But I really feel this should not have happened and she should have got her girl to go ahead without bothering about what the teacher said. -
Rosemummy, yep, sports is in a pathetic state. Not only sport but many aesthetic competitions. It does not help that I am not blind. I can see…
Give you another example. There was a trial in April where all competitors were required to attend, they wanted to select 10 Singapore reps. There were about 20+ who came for selections. I noticed one girl was around the pool but was not in the list. She is top in Singapore. So I asked her why not. Her mother and she gave me bitter smiles. Not wanting to intrude into their privacy, I quickly smiled and took leave.
I was shocked that she got into the team this week. She did not attend the trial, but somehow her mother and the authority by passed all the rules and got her in. I did not want to kick up big fuss and pretended I did not see, because nobody noticed this at all. If I make noise, people will ostracize my children and make life difficult. Especially those in charge who made this decision, and I know who that person is. So I kept mum, we are leaving anyway and will not be in the team, so we shut up.
Such is the situation, there are many, many more which are very unfair. But I learn to use these opportunities to teach my children not to be oblivious, but to be alert. Be aware of such situations, but we need not react every time. I remind them that if they are in a position to change the situation, they should. But since we are not in an influential position in this case, we shut up.
Why did I keep mum? I used to stand up for justice all the time. I made so much noise I notice people afraid to mingle with me in case this person in charge thinks they are with me. But I was not looking for faults. I chanced upon them. Nevermind. This person will not be in power one day. What’s right remains right. But the sad thing is, just as long as this keeps going on, it is hard to move this event forward. Who would want to join such an unfair sport?
I think such bickering stems from parents’ participation to a large extent as well. In those days, we were in charge of our own destiny in sports. Nowadays, our sports/aesthetic performance can determine the school we go to. Therefore, concerned parents want to get involved. This has made this very complicated. It does not help that I am not a very free mother, since I have 5. Those with fewer kids can stay by their kids’ side day in day out, and attend to every need. I have to train my kids to look out for themselves. Blessing in disguise though. They learn to fend for themselves, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. -
2ppaamm, that’s why I really think sports should not be the criteria for DSA or entry into mainstream schools. We should let our kids enjoy it for what it is and learn sportsmanship in the process, not use it as a mean to gain entry to a school of their choice. Kids who want to pursue sports as a career can take a different path through the Sports School. Ditto for the aesthetics where the kids could go to SOTA. The current system is bringing out the worse in both parents and children. Those with the talent are competing in an unhealthy manner amongst themselves, making enemies rather than friends in the process. Those without such talent and want to enter certain schools through the academic path are getting stressed with increasing COP due to the places taken up for DSA. I think all these are totally unnecessary. What’s the purpose of sports or aesthetics if we have to come to this?
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2ppaamm:
Yep, hv to agree I have seen and experienced it myself. There very little meritocracy in this world.
but the real world is like that, in sports, in school, in the office...
our children will need to learn to deal with this at a younger age. :sad: -
Hehe, we OT for very long already. Now, gifted or not, we realize it does not really matter in studies, sports and arts. There is a whole lot more like handling situations and connecting to the right parties. How to nurture a gifted child? Just let him do what he likes and let’s remember to teach him how to handle the politics around life as well. In sports, in school, in the office.
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a gifted child, like anyone else, deserve a happy life.
there is no need to take that away from him/her. -
dunnoleh:
Can't agree more.a gifted child, like anyone else, deserve a happy life.
there is no need to take that away from him/her.
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