Club SAHM

[buds]

SAHM_TAN:

janet_lee88:

It's nice to be in-laws with people we know. Of course Fate is something unpredictable.

Actually both sets of in-laws in the future will be able to get along ...since people are more educated and have a diff mind-set unlike the older generation now.

Maybe it will be a more civilised relationship but educational level does not always reflect the character of the person.

:goodpost: SAHM_TAN!

I agree with you. Besides the one who may be more educated than the other could be more ngiao oso... we won't know.

[buds]

mummy of 2:

I have to lay claim to the most underworked SAHM cos I can't cook and don't do housework. Guess that could be why I'm feeling quite bored. Not used to having so much free time after being hectic ftwm for so long.

Wah! :please: Can say don't do housework issit? Your husband so nice. But only applies to husbands who sees no mess.. hear no mess.. dun mind mess..

[Kabby]

buds:

When they're still small and all cutie pie yes heartbroken just at the thought of marrying them off or even the thought of them having a bf.. Now my two girls are all grown up, can't stop squabbling with each other and stuff or during bad days scream at one another... :faint: ... He once asked me,\"... thought it was supposed to be great to have sister?\" Both hubs and I had two brothers. I know I yearned for a sister. Our two girls bicker quite a bit especially now that DD1 is showing the pre-teen syndrome. Hubs would not think twice about marrying them off I suppose.

haha, ok! i shall see in 10yrs time, whether Dh still thinks the same.

[BeContented]

buds:

mummy of 2:

I have to lay claim to the most underworked SAHM cos I can't cook and don't do housework. Guess that could be why I'm feeling quite bored. Not used to having so much free time after being hectic ftwm for so long.

Wah! :please: Can say don't do housework issit? Your husband so nice. But only applies to husbands who sees no mess.. hear no mess.. dun mind mess..

Buds.....
you make me ashamed too.....plus I only have 2 kids and already cannot make it. cooking also cannot pass.....
DH used to comment a lot about my high threshold for mess.....but now, he's trained. Cooking also.....will just eat a little to 交差 then later hunt for some supper/snacks

[BeContented]

jedamum:

cwc:

DH looks at me, then look at DD then shakes his head.

I dunno what he's thinking.....but he ever commented \"I very worried. hope our DD won't be stupid stupid kena con\" :scared:

he think you kena con by him ah? :laugh:

ke ke ke.....maybe he's the one kena conned :evil:

[buds]

cwc:

buds:

[quote=\"mummy of 2\"]I have to lay claim to the most underworked SAHM cos I can't cook and don't do housework. Guess that could be why I'm feeling quite bored. Not used to having so much free time after being hectic ftwm for so long.

Wah! :please: Can say don't do housework issit? Your husband so nice. But only applies to husbands who sees no mess.. hear no mess.. dun mind mess..

Buds.....
you make me ashamed too.....plus I only have 2 kids and already cannot make it. cooking also cannot pass.....
DH used to comment a lot about my high threshold for mess.....but now, he's trained. Cooking also.....will just eat a little to 交差 then later hunt for some supper/snacks [/quote]
I was conned remember? :roll:
Oh well..

Hubs was used to having his mother serve him and his family 3 or sometimes 4X a day meal. His father is the old school type who likes the wife serve hubby kinda person. In fact, when they were living together with us... the mother insisted that she was the still the best person to look after her son since well... she had done so efficiently for the past 20 over years before we got hitched. She also lay claim to the fact that her son was used to it and that no one can do it better. I just paved the way for her boi... no contest. You go take championship, i dun reali care.. :roll:

But hubs had to insist that since he married me, i can try to carry out some wifey duties as well as work full time then. I did as i was told.. ahem.. being the good wifey that i am. Tho not any good then, he gave me encouragement that i could improve. He ate all the rubber band noodles i made him and all the porridge that was supposed to be rice and even the oversalted dishes... he lapped them all up and gave comments. Since his parents were also working i helped cook for the whole family and also cleaned the house tho it seemed i'd always miss a spot.

Cut story short, the mother always see me no up and made sure she constantly reminded me i was never good enuff.. and will never be good enuff for her son thru out my 10yrs with her. When i became a mother, i was again not a good enuff mother for my children and when she stirred trouble in our marriage i was deemed not good enuff as a wife to begin with. Things didn't get any better but i didn't stop trying.

Never did i realize that what didn't kill me only made me stronger.

Over the years of restraint (bitten tongues and cheeks) :roll:... over the years of endurance... over the years of never giving up (on myself)... and over the years my daddie supported me emotionally and always being there for me... i didn't realize i was actually pretty good. Teachers in my girls' school were always asking for my ideas & guidance.. friends love coming over for play-dates and help take my mind off things (bless them).. relatives set me as a benchmark for their daughters to emulate.. working friends recommended their colleagues or ppl they know who needed help with foundation work to me cos they said i was good at it.. So all that criticism.. all that pent-up emotions, anger, sadness, disappointment, a lil regret once in awhile, insanity... i never realized i took it all in and all it did was just made me more bullet-proof.

So to speak in their bloodline, threshold for mess wasn't very good.. Women in their family line take pride having husbands love coming home to homecooked food and eaten with the whole family.. in a clean house..

Fast forward to today.. i hell didn't do too bad. I was freakin' good mind you! So here's lookin' back at her.. Thru all the years of condemnation, she still got nothin' and i reckon she seems like she gave up.. but hey i ain't takin' any chances. On guard! :nunchuk:

Ashamed? Don't be.. :hugs: While hubs is willing to go thru everything again as long as i will be with him all over again, i hell will not succumb. Forget romantics. Forget stoooo-ped (stupid).. Hello freedom. :laugh: Seriously, if i were to choose to do it all again or not.. i won't.

But to all those who've tried to bring me down. Screw you. :torchme:

Didn't work. :preen:

[MummyThreeStreams]

DH super dun mind mess! That’s why if I get him to do housework, he’ll only do it once a month, coz it doesn’t feel or seem dirty to him! But good for me also, coz he doesn’t stress me about it. Sometimes, I don’t even fold his laundry. I’ll fold everyone else’s and keep them nicely, but just dump his in his clean laundry basket. He doesn’t mind!


I love to cook…and DH loves my cooking. BUT he can’t stand doing the dishes ( I cook he washes up)…so he would prefer to eat out.

He’s more concerned that I spend time with the kids.

[buds]

kabalevsky:

no wonder the term \"daddy's girl\"

My daddie tries not to show it.. but hubs says it shows on his face that i am my daddie's star child. My simple retort. \"You're just jealous you don't have a dad like mine.. cos you're mommy's boy. Boo-hoo.\"

That worked. :lol:

[buds]

MummyThreeStreams:

buds! you realli spoil market ah! take care of the kids, teach the kids, cook, clean, and still have time (and energy) for *ahem*...

MummyThreeStreams! I know! I just found out! :stupid: Make that reali reali reali spoil market. :rant: I didn't realize what the market rate/standard was until the revelation came via KiasuParents SAHM Club! :faint: Can you imagine that? :siao:

MummyThreeStreams:

lucky for me, DH doesn't have the time nor the inclination to come visit this site, or i will have no more excuses!

:rotflmao:

MummyThreeStreams:

I used to do the cooking and cleaning etc. when i was living overseas. then I really had no help. but when i came back, got the grandparents climbing over each other to come and help. i guess i'm fortunate, but i miss those days when i had the house all to myself and could decide exactly what i was going to cook for the week. now, very hard to tell the old folks not to come coz it's like snubbing them...so when they say they got to go on holiday or cannot come coz of whatever medical appt, i am quite happy!

Must be nice to have a helper.. even if part-time ones. Household chores are a killer especially for peeps who can't multi-task cos it means time taken off from spending time with the children, or with hubby or time taken to rest/nap.. I don't even need naps. Heck, i barely sleep too. What a waste uh? :lol:

MummyThreeStreams:

I get my boys to clean up after themselves, but there's a limit to how much housework I can get them to do. washing dishes is OK. but if I get them to mop the floor...aiyoh! you know boys arh...they will turn it into a game of splash the thief or froth the burglar and i will have to do double duty cleaning up... at most i get them to help me magic mop. even then, they will start playing with the mop stick and the wiper bit will touch the floor for all of 3 seconds...

I use the Scotchbrite or issit 3M invention of wet/dry mop. Very good & can dump in washer if needs to be washed too. Floors won't be too wet during mopping up. Plus it is evenly cleaned over all floor span.

MummyThreeStreams:

DH used to help with the housework, but now he is too busy and when he is not working, i'd rather he spend time with me or the boys, rather than cleaning up. but i'm wondering if i should make him do some cleaning up, then at least the boys have a good role model.

Yes, i suppose so sweetie. If boys are used to seeing the man of the house help out.. they too will know their place. Hubs father can do housework well and like clockwork too but in my opinion not as thorough or as clean as hubs does it. Doing something for the sake of it and doing cos you want to results in two different end product.

[Kabby]

buds:

But hubs had to insist that since he married me, i can try to carry out some wifey duties as well as work full time then. I did as i was told.. ahem.. being the good wifey that i am. Tho not any good then, he gave me encouragement that i could improve. He ate all the rubber band noodles i made him and all the porridge that was supposed to be rice and even the oversalted dishes... he lapped them all up and gave comments. Since his parents were also working i helped cook for the whole family and also cleaned the house tho it seemed i'd always miss a spot.

really can't understand how come they don't appreciate it, when they see you have a full time job, still cook and clean for them. sigh....

though i used to live with in laws, we had a helper so i didn't need to cook or do housework. i think it's really tough for you. glad u have your own place now!