Club SAHM

[chooz]

Hi there, i am new to this forum and basically I joined to find out more about P1 Registration.

Then i found out abt Club SAHM.
Is it a place for grouses??? hee....

[Kabby]

chooz:

[i]Hi there, i am new to this forum and basically I joined to find out more about P1 Registration.

Then i found out abt Club SAHM.
Is it a place for grouses??? hee....[/i]

hi chooz, welcome!
this place is for anything SAHMs want to talk abt... may incl grouses, haha

your nick sounds like the German word for a cheery \"bye\"!

[johmom]

buds:

I didn't say it was easy or it didn't come across obstacles but it was worth it. :love:
We gotta learn to appreciate ourselves too. Take things in positively and the same positive energy will and can resonate with those around us. :hugs:

It takes the first step...

And then you'd be on your way..

Hi! New here and only read the last three pages of this thread...

So, buds, what's the first step?

Btw, I only have one child, don't cook, don't do housework...hmm... guess that's the intro. :oops:

[Kabby]

hi johmom,

welcome!

[BeContented]

buds:

cwc:

Buds.....
you make me ashamed too.....plus I only have 2 kids and already cannot make it. cooking also cannot pass.....
DH used to comment a lot about my high threshold for mess.....but now, he's trained. Cooking also.....will just eat a little to 交差 then later hunt for some supper/snacks

I was conned remember? :roll:
Oh well..

Hubs was used to having his mother serve him and his family 3 or sometimes 4X a day meal. His father is the old school type who likes the wife serve hubby kinda person. In fact, when they were living together with us... the mother insisted that she was the still the best person to look after her son since well... she had done so efficiently for the past 20 over years before we got hitched. She also lay claim to the fact that her son was used to it and that no one can do it better. I just paved the way for her boi... no contest. You go take championship, i dun reali care.. :roll:

But hubs had to insist that since he married me, i can try to carry out some wifey duties as well as work full time then. I did as i was told.. ahem.. being the good wifey that i am. Tho not any good then, he gave me encouragement that i could improve. He ate all the rubber band noodles i made him and all the porridge that was supposed to be rice and even the oversalted dishes... he lapped them all up and gave comments. Since his parents were also working i helped cook for the whole family and also cleaned the house tho it seemed i'd always miss a spot.

Cut story short, the mother always see me no up and made sure she constantly reminded me i was never good enuff.. and will never be good enuff for her son thru out my 10yrs with her. When i became a mother, i was again not a good enuff mother for my children and when she stirred trouble in our marriage i was deemed not good enuff as a wife to begin with. Things didn't get any better but i didn't stop trying.

Never did i realize that what didn't kill me only made me stronger.

Over the years of restraint (bitten tongues and cheeks) :roll:... over the years of endurance... over the years of never giving up (on myself)... and over the years my daddie supported me emotionally and always being there for me... i didn't realize i was actually pretty good. Teachers in my girls' school were always asking for my ideas & guidance.. friends love coming over for play-dates and help take my mind off things (bless them).. relatives set me as a benchmark for their daughters to emulate.. working friends recommended their colleagues or ppl they know who needed help with foundation work to me cos they said i was good at it.. So all that criticism.. all that pent-up emotions, anger, sadness, disappointment, a lil regret once in awhile, insanity... i never realized i took it all in and all it did was just made me more bullet-proof.

So to speak in their bloodline, threshold for mess wasn't very good.. Women in their family line take pride having husbands love coming home to homecooked food and eaten with the whole family.. in a clean house..

Fast forward to today.. i hell didn't do too bad. I was freakin' good mind you! So here's lookin' back at her.. Thru all the years of condemnation, she still got nothin' and i reckon she seems like she gave up.. but hey i ain't takin' any chances. On guard! :nunchuk:

Ashamed? Don't be.. :hugs: While hubs is willing to go thru everything again as long as i will be with him all over again, i hell will not succumb. Forget romantics. Forget stoooo-ped (stupid).. Hello freedom. :laugh: Seriously, if i were to choose to do it all again or not.. i won't.

But to all those who've tried to bring me down. Screw you. :torchme:

Didn't work. :preen:

Wooooo......looked like you went through a lot. For a moment while reading, thot you gonna say \"you will go thru it all over again\" :yikes: But I suppose it's all bright and sunny for you now :rahrah:
I sure hope I dun have to endure 10 years...... :evil:

[mummy of 2]

buds, you never cease to amaze me with the way you always get thru watever you encounter, no matter how unbearable it is. I wish I had half of your resilience and perseverance.

buds:

terry, unfortunately when the men go out to work... all they see are colleagues in cool suits and dresses plus pretty made up faces... and on the way back in the trains are more babes & their group of friends... for husbands who have to entertain clients beyond office hours, lagi best... they see even more. :roll: So aniwaes, while most of us SAHMs like myself.. we tend to say that / use the same line as immediate response.. just a while to look at this in another perspective.

Truth be told. I had this issue with hubs myself. I can remember it like it happened only yesterday. He literally said i wasn't nice to look at anymore, that i had to do something about myself.. ILs called me names like whale.. and some others i dun care to repeat.

Think of it as a dish. If you were asked to sample two dishes on a plate would you go for one looking pale and bland or something whipped up aesthetically pleasing? Hence the pun ppl usually use that men like to eat outside dishes...

It was the saddest day of my life as a wife and mom. It hurt so bad. It was a wake up call for me. I tried to find many reasons to justify ppl being mean to me what more from the ppl i care abt a lot... but i couldn't. In the end, i told myself that i had got to do it for me... for myself. So that i can stay healthy and have more energy for my children.. so that i can fit into better clothes.. so that i dun look like a maid when i take my children out.. so that i have the confidence to be the old me. Mebbe not as youthful but definitely as presentable. The nui chiang ren (career woman) all confident, sassy and able. I can still be all that and be a successful SAHM. So i did..

I didn't say it was easy or it didn't come across obstacles but it was worth it. :love:
We gotta learn to appreciate ourselves too. Take things in positively and the same positive energy will and can resonate with those around us. :hugs:

It takes the first step...

And then you'd be on your way..

[janet88]

johmom:

buds:

We gotta learn to appreciate ourselves too. Take things in positively and the same positive energy will and can resonate with those around us. :hugs:

It takes the first step...

Hi! New here and only read the last three pages of this thread...

Btw, I only have one child, don't cook, don't do housework...hmm... guess that's the intro. :oops:

Welcome johmom.
How old is your child ?

I don't cook either.

[johmom]

My child is 4.


Thanks for the welcome.

[smurf]

Erm, so you guys dun cook, then what do you eat leh?

[janet88]

smurf:

Erm, so you guys dun cook, then what do you eat leh?

Hubby used to work from home...so I cook a 1-dish meal. Now that he has moved to another dept and have to go office everyday, kids and I will go to parents' place for meals...dad will pick them after school and we all go there.