Club 3 or more Kids

[MintyMin]

xygl:

big HELLO to all super mummies in this thread


I was searching through the forum but guessed this is the thread which I may be able to get some views.

I am a FTWM with 2 kids (DD1 (2005) and DS2 (2008)). We am on the idea for #3.

One one hand, we would love to have #3. On the other hand, we are concerned with (1) DD1 needs attention and plenty encouragement to perform. (2) DS2 is ver manja. By having #3, I may deprive them of some attention (3) I do not intend to get domestic helper.

Next year, DD1 will be in student care after class while DS2 will continue to attend childcare. For those that has gone through this, how would you manage the situation assuming #3 is to be placed in infant care? Is everything in a mess (not physical mess)? I can imagine with #3, I may not be able to read or stay with the elder 2 for their sleeping time. This is one of those quality time which we love since they are away from home for whole day. At the same time, #3 will need plenty of care since he/she is still a baby!

How do you divide that limited evening hours among 3 kids? How is your typical day like?

I am battling since I am not that young. If we were to delay this thought, weIl do not know if I will regret later. Sighz.

Hello xygl!! :welcome:

My 3 kiddos all age gap to be exact is abt 19 - 22 mths.. All 3 kids are not planned..

I would say.. time spent or bonding time is difficult to b equal or fair btw 3.. I admit tat no.2 was the most neglected one, as she slp with helper right after i go bak to wrk after my maternity leave.. den #3 came along 19mths later.. so i hardly have time for#2 except during my ML period tat i spend more time with #2..

Right now.. I read to all 3 kiddos together b4 bed.. Time spent.. hard to split.. but i try to do it with all 3 together.. if not sometimes.. i will take time off.. to take each kid out n spend a day with them..

[tigger88]

Hi xygl,


I have 3 kids with age gap between 21 - 27 mths and is expecting #4. Honestly if I do not have external help (maid + my dad coming over daily), I will not consider going for >2kids.
Both my 2 older kids are in full day childcare now and my youngest kid is taken care by my maid (with supervision by my dad). Like MintyMin, I will try to take leave and spend one on one time with each of them when possible. It’s not easy to divide my attention equally between them; I am trying my best and still learning.

[MintyMin]

tigger88:

Hi xygl,


I have 3 kids with age gap between 21 - 27 mths and is expecting #4. Honestly if I do not have external help (maid + my dad coming over daily), I will not consider going for >2kids.
Both my 2 older kids are in full day childcare now and my youngest kid is taken care by my maid (with supervision by my dad). Like MintyMin, I will try to take leave and spend one on one time with each of them when possible. It's not easy to divide my attention equally between them; I am trying my best and still learning.

:hi5:

But u r better den me.. coz u have #4 on the way!! :udawoman: :snuggles: :hugs: :love:

[Castle House]

xygl:

big HELLO to all super mummies in this thread


I was searching through the forum but guessed this is the thread which I may be able to get some views.

I am a FTWM with 2 kids (DD1 (2005) and DS2 (2008)). We am on the idea for #3.

One one hand, we would love to have #3. On the other hand, we are concerned with (1) DD1 needs attention and plenty encouragement to perform. (2) DS2 is ver manja. By having #3, I may deprive them of some attention (3) I do not intend to get domestic helper.

Next year, DD1 will be in student care after class while DS2 will continue to attend childcare. For those that has gone through this, how would you manage the situation assuming #3 is to be placed in infant care? Is everything in a mess (not physical mess)? I can imagine with #3, I may not be able to read or stay with the elder 2 for their sleeping time. This is one of those quality time which we love since they are away from home for whole day. At the same time, #3 will need plenty of care since he/she is still a baby!

How do you divide that limited evening hours among 3 kids? How is your typical day like?

I am battling since I am not that young. If we were to delay this thought, weIl do not know if I will regret later. Sighz.

I also have 3.. errr.. didn't really take note of the age gap..

Having 3 not ez.. agree that the quality of time spend each day will not be evenly spread out..

In fact, the moment I am home, all fighting for my attention...

So, I will try to settle one by one...

Divide and plan out my time and attention for each of them..

[Castle House]

MintyMin:

All 3 kids are not planned..

..

:snuggles: we have so much in common except age.. :rotflmao:

[SAHM_TAN]

kabalevsky:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:


SAHM Tan will be quite stressed till the P1 reg is over for her, so we can look forward to a lot more puns, jokes and such funny stuff from her for this period of time! :love:

No wonder I was sneezing today :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[MintyMin]

Castle House:

MintyMin:

All 3 kids are not planned..

..

:snuggles: we have so much in common except age.. :rotflmao:

:hi5: :hugs: age not much difference wat :rotflmao: :evil:

[TAccs]

Castle House:

xygl:

big HELLO to all super mummies in this thread


I was searching through the forum but guessed this is the thread which I may be able to get some views.

I am a FTWM with 2 kids (DD1 (2005) and DS2 (2008)). We am on the idea for #3.

One one hand, we would love to have #3. On the other hand, we are concerned with (1) DD1 needs attention and plenty encouragement to perform. (2) DS2 is ver manja. By having #3, I may deprive them of some attention (3) I do not intend to get domestic helper.

Next year, DD1 will be in student care after class while DS2 will continue to attend childcare. For those that has gone through this, how would you manage the situation assuming #3 is to be placed in infant care? Is everything in a mess (not physical mess)? I can imagine with #3, I may not be able to read or stay with the elder 2 for their sleeping time. This is one of those quality time which we love since they are away from home for whole day. At the same time, #3 will need plenty of care since he/she is still a baby!

How do you divide that limited evening hours among 3 kids? How is your typical day like?

I am battling since I am not that young. If we were to delay this thought, weIl do not know if I will regret later. Sighz.

I also have 3.. errr.. didn't really take note of the age gap..

Having 3 not ez.. agree that the quality of time spend each day will not be evenly spread out..

In fact, the moment I am home, all fighting for my attention...

So, I will try to settle one by one...

Divide and plan out my time and attention for each of them..

Its not easy to divide for sure. At the moment, we read to them at different corner of the room. When i am done with #1, #2 would catch hold of me and demand me to stay with him. So i really hv no idea wat if #3 comes into pic.....

dd1 will be in P1 nx year, thus i believe she will need more of my time coaching her.

ds2 is so manja but at least DH can settle him as at now...

[SAHM_TAN]

xygl:

How do you divide that limited evening hours among 3 kids? How is your typical day like?

I am battling since I am not that young. If we were to delay this thought, weIl do not know if I will regret later. Sighz.

Mine are 2yrs +++ in gap. I quitted my job becos I was not spending enough time with DD1 and DS. DD1 was monopolised by MIL and DS was with my DH's aunt. I could not take it and quit.

When I was just settling down with both, DD2 decide to join me. So now I have 3. It's not easy. I try to do thing with all the three together. But bb now is bb so most time with her and the 2 older ones are complaining that I do not spend enough time with them in their own ways. DD1 more vocal while DS is acting up.

But I have a plan :lol: Next yr when DD1 is in P1 and in morning session, I will spend time with DS, since he is in kindy PM and will remain so. In the afternoon when DD1 is back I will spend time with her. Of course bb would be with us but with one older kid in school / kindy, I will be able to focus better on the older child. In the meantime, I will try to do what I can. My MIL will come over to cook dinner 3 - 4 times a wk. DH helps whenever he can. FIL helps with laundry. Once a wk I have a part time helper to mini spring clean the house.

[Kabby]

hi xygl,

if you do have #3, the age gap between your #1 and #3 will be same as mine. My #3 (dd) arrived when ds1 entered P1.

I think definitely they get less time from us. There are only 24hrs in a day, so the more kids means attention is shared. But yes, like the moms above, I do the bedtime reading with all 3 together. Usually #3 will be wandering around cos her attention span is much shorter. If #3 is especially fussy and wants to nurse, then Dh will take over the reading with the 2 older boys. Is your Dh able to help?

I also don't have a helper, so Dh's help is very important. When he goes on overseas trips, that's when it gets very bad. So I hope if you don't have a domestic helper, at least you have your mom or Dh to help you?

I don't know if being a SAHM or FTWM would be a difference, cos at night, after dinner, our time is so limited too. The boys sleep at 8pm and honestly, at the end of each day, I always wonder, where did all the time go to? I don't seem to have done much with each kid each day!

But if we don't take it day by day and look at the big picture, like maybe over the months or years, then I'd say, I love having 3 kids. It is definitely worth it, worth all the mess (and for me, it is physical mess too!), worth all the extra effort and less sleep...

I love to see them playing together, love watching the older boys take care of their sister, and I like to believe that all 3 of them learn even more people skills and other life skills, living and interacting with each other on a daily basis.

So if you wish to, just go ahead!