Club SAHM

[Chenonceau]

cwc… You have my respect. You’re an AMAZING woman.

[janet88]

linden2000:

sleepy:

[quote=\"smurf\"]Wow, so nice that most of your dh can do housework...

That's how he lured me into marrying him! When we were studying overseas, he cooked for me, cleaned my room, washed my clothes, carried my heavy school everyday.

So sweet of your DH! [/quote]That is so sweet. Cooking and cleaning. I'm sure you landed a good catch.

[sleepy]

Just wondering are you ladies 100% happy with your marriage?

Any area you hope to improve on or rectify?

[sleepy]

I wish my dh can be more affectionate. Most of the times, he doesn't initiate contact, such as having the initiative to hold my hands when we go out, give a peck on my cheek or touch my hair sometimes or compliment me when I wore a new dress. Been communicating about this issue for many years. However, dh simply doesn't take me seriously. He is happy with our marriage since he's receiving lots of attention. He doesn't see his lack of affection as a problem at all. But I don't like to feel like a piece of furniture. Affection has to be both ways & not one direction.


Although I'm not anywhere near breaking point but I sure hope we won't ever need go down that path :shock: I suggested to dh perhaps we should see a marriage counselor but he thinks I 小题大做. No way to get through to him :frustrated:

[Kabby]

sleepy:

Just wondering are you ladies 100% happy with your marriage?

Any area you hope to improve on or rectify?

hi sleepy,
being human, i think we would all want more, and would always find somewhere we would like to see improvement.

for me, i would like more couple time. we have so little opportunity to go out by ourselves or even have a meal together just the 2 of us!

also, he's really messy and absent-minded... and he doesn't like to talk much, so when i ask about his day, it is always \"err, good\".

but i guess these are not serious/ major things for me to be really upset about. not all men are good listeners and have ability to talk a lot... so over the yrs i have gotten used to it?

so overall i would say i am happy with my marriage. certainly no regrets, and am looking forward to better times when the kids are grown.

[Kabby]

sleepy:

I wish my dh can be more affectionate. Most of the times, he doesn't initiate contact, such as having the initiative to hold my hands when we go out, give a peck on my cheek or touch my hair sometimes or compliment me when I wore a new dress. Been communicating about this issue for many years. However, dh simply doesn't take me seriously. He is happy with our marriage since he's receiving lots of attention. He doesn't see his lack of affection as a problem at all. But I don't like to feel like a piece of furniture. Affection has to be both ways & not one direction.


Although I'm not anywhere near breaking point but I sure hope we won't ever need go down that path :shock: I suggested to dh perhaps we should see a marriage counselor but he thinks I 小题大做. No way to get through to him :frustrated:

oh i wish too!

i am not married long enough to give advice i think, cos we are still trying to fine tune and working hard to have a good marriage.

but ermmm, maybe i don't really think a lot abt this... when you mentioned it, i don't think Dh holds my hands much when we go out too, you know. he'd be holding the boys' hands, or carrying the bb, or lugging some bags... or i'd be the one with the stroller or the bb. no available hands to hold each other's hands lei...

perhaps women are more affectionate? maybe he has been brought up to be more stoic and less affectionate outwardly but it doesn't mean he loves us any less?

that said, maybe some date nights will be nice for both of you, and couples' retreat and some marriage seminars or workshops. i haven't gone for any (always no time) but I heard from friends they can be very fun and effective.

:snuggles: hope you have a good night's rest!

[terry]

hi sleepy,

is ur hb like that since courtship days?
if yes, then it cld juz be his character. u noe some men dun like to show PDA.

woman will always want mre attention esp after having kids, we want assurance frm our man that they still find out attractive and desirable…not juz the mother to our children.

b4 we got married, i alrdy told my hb tat im sm1 who needs alot of attention. so now whenever he ‘ignores’ me, i will juz remind him straight.

maybe u can do smthg that u noe ur hb will like so to surprise him? eg. my hb likes me to do mani/pedi, which i find is waste of time and $$. but still i will do it once awhile to make him happy.

hmm…im guilty of neglecting him at times as well cos now with kids, not like last time when it was juz the 2 of us. with #2 due soon…cant imagine our couple time will be reduced to wat…which is y i will try to gv in most times and do stuffs tat he likes.

time to go for a romantic getaway?

[Angelight]

Hi Sleepy, suggest you read a book \"The 5 Love Languages\" by Gary Chapman, which spells out the different love languages that make men and women tick. Maybe your hubby's love languages are not \"words of affirmation\" and \"physical touch\" but \"acts of service\" and others. For a quick look at the other love languages b4 you get the book, you may read my blog article \"What is your love language?\" http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/what-your-love-language

to find out more.

Anyway, don't be discouraged cos my DH also not the romantic or new-age sensitive type. He is also a man of few words and even jokingly admits he has 'verbal constipation'. :imconstipated:

I don't think you need to seek a counsellor, but maybe the two of you can read the book by Gary Chapman and try to initiate more open communication, which is key in any marriage or relationship. :hugs:

sleepy:

I wish my dh can be more affectionate. Most of the times, he doesn't initiate contact, such as having the initiative to hold my hands when we go out, give a peck on my cheek or touch my hair sometimes or compliment me when I wore a new dress. Been communicating about this issue for many years. However, dh simply doesn't take me seriously. He is happy with our marriage since he's receiving lots of attention. He doesn't see his lack of affection as a problem at all. But I don't like to feel like a piece of furniture. Affection has to be both ways & not one direction.

Although I'm not anywhere near breaking point but I sure hope we won't ever need go down that path :shock: I suggested to dh perhaps we should see a marriage counselor but he thinks I 小题大做. No way to get through to him :frustrated:

[BeContented]

buds:

Heyya cwc... for now just :snuggles: first.

Am gonna pen down some thoughts for you
when I have more time. Hang in there woman!
Your man and your family needs you.. You are
currently still the backbone of the household so
take care if yourself ya? :hugs:

Thanks.....and take your time, you are also a busy woman...got bb somemore.
Me actually cool down liao....ha ha.
Without FIL around last 2 days (well, hospitalised again, he was discharged barely a week ago) and less yelling from MIL and less contact, I'm Ok again.
Well, that's me.....basically, need space and cannot get poke continuously
Guess it's a cycle, up down up down.....

[MummyThreeStreams]

Yikes! DH is super affectionate! In fact, so are my three sons! So at the end of the day I feel so smothered by their hugs and kisses etc., I just want to be left alone without any touching and kissing just for a bit…anyone els feels like i do? I know DH sometimes feels a bit disappointed that I’m not as affectionate as before…but he understands. we still spend lots of time talking etc. and we make sure we go for date nights where we will hold hands like in the good ol’ days!