All About Teaching Values

[usaik]

Very happy to find this thread. Thanks for all the wonderful good tips shared in the discussion.


I am looking for good children books that depict good values. Wonder if anyone have any good one to share?

[tamarind]

In my case, when my girl asks to buy something, this is the way I talk to her :


Me: That item costs money to buy. Do you have any money ?
My girl : I don’t have. But you have money. You can buy for me.
Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

It doesn’t mean I never buy my kids things. I do buy them toys, but usually I am the one who makes the decision on what to buy, not them. Unless they have been very good, and I want to reward them, then I will let them choose something.

I think all kids must be taught that money does not fall down from the sky. Just before my girl turned 5 years old, I bought her a beading set. She made 8 bracelets, and then I helped her sell them over the internet. Then I gave her the money she earned, and told her she can buy anything with it. This is an important lesson to teach her that money is earned through hard work.

[tamarind]

usaik:

Very happy to find this thread. Thanks for all the wonderful good tips shared in the discussion.


I am looking for good children books that depict good values. Wonder if anyone have any good one to share?

I can recommend some very good Chinese books for children, that teaches good values. Not sure if you are interested in Chinese or English books ?

[mumwgals]

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

:shock: :shock:

[ZacK]

mumwgals:

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

:shock: :shock:

Hahhaha... I think I know how you feel :lol:

[ZacK]

tamarind:

Me: That item costs money to buy. Do you have any money ?
My girl : I don't have. But you have money. You can buy for me.
Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money. Next time when you grow up and earn your own money, then you can buy anything you like, OK ?

My girl will stop asking after that. I started using the above tactic since she was 3 years old.

Not sure if I would use this same tactic tho... I would like to think that our money will ultimately be our kids money (in one way or another) ... Juz thought that this method may cultivate the child to be calculative with us in future :?

I'm sure there are other ways where we do not need to make such remarks to our child and still cultivate the value of money in them

tamarind:

I think all kids must be taught that money does not fall down from the sky. Just before my girl turned 5 years old, I bought her a beading set. She made 8 bracelets, and then I helped her sell them over the internet. Then I gave her the money she earned, and told her she can buy anything with it. This is an important lesson to teach her that money is earned through hard work.

I thought this is a good way for them to learn to earn their \"keep\" and thereafter they have a say in what should be done with the money earned

[ChiefKiasu]

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money.

I used this line on my wife once and I'm happy to report that I was fortunate to survive to tell the tale and to not make the same mistake twice.

If we use that on our children, I wonder if they would say the same to us when we are old and dependent on them...

[tamarind]

Hahaha I know what all of you are thinking.


At the same time, I also teach my girl to be to take care of those who have taken care of her when she is young, and to be generous with them. She has already promised to buy me a house and a pink color car when she grows up

Telling her that my money is not her money, is simply teaching her that she does not have the liberty to spend my money anyway she wants. It is not telling her to be calculative. My girl understands this very well.

Actually my kids have tons of toys and books at home, so they know that mommy indulges on them. It is just that they do not have the freedom to ask for anything they want.

Anyway, I have not tried this tactic on my son, who is almost 4 years old. He is still not able to understand such logic yet. My girl is much more matured than my boy at the same age.

I thought most parents nowadays do not plan to depend on kids in the future. We all have CPF right ?

[ZacK]

ChiefKiasu:

tamarind:

Me: My money is my money. My money is not your money.

I used this line on my wife once and I'm happy to report that I was fortunate to survive to tell the tale and to not make the same mistake twice.

If we use that on our children, I wonder if they would say the same to us when we are old and dependent on them...

Hmmm I'm surprised you survived!!! :shock: ... She must have been magnanimous or did you have to offer her big rock for her to give you another lifeline?

I thought for guys by signing on the marriage certificate equates to handing over the pay check and atm card to personal bank a/c???!!!

Hahaha the above was supposed to be a joke :lol: ... Anyway I managed to keep my own pay check and personal a/c intact and contribute to a common a/c for family expenses instead

[ZacK]

tamarind:

Hahaha I know what all of you are thinking.


At the same time, I also teach my girl to be to take care of those who have taken care of her when she is young, and to be generous with them. She has already promised to buy me a house and a pink color car when she grows up

Telling her that my money is not her money, is simply teaching her that she does not have the liberty to spend my money anyway she wants. It is not telling her to be calculative. My girl understands this very well.

Actually my kids have tons of toys and books at home, so they know that mommy indulges on them. It is just that they do not have the freedom to ask for anything they want.

Anyway, I have not tried this tactic on my son, who is almost 4 years old. He is still not able to understand such logic yet. My girl is much more matured than my boy at the same age.

I thought most parents nowadays do not plan to depend on kids in the future. We all have CPF right ?

I glad to hear that your girl has learnt to be generous... My son promised me a Maserati to race against his Porsche when he grows up :lol:

That is why \"new age\" parents need to be flexible, adaptive and resourceful... Becos the same tactics that worked well on one may not work well for another. :oops:

And yes... Us parents also have to be self-sufficient in our old age... Gone are the days when having kids is a form of retirement planning... That is why being parents at this age and time can be pretty stressful cos have to plan for our kids + for ourselves