Extra Marital Affair

[Funz]

winth:

:shock: he can sure explain his actions really well.

It almost sounded like going for 'spa treatment' to me. Licking his toes and making his whole body feel serviced. Weird though that he still has to keep it a secret instead of 'correcting' his wife's 'mindset'.

I wonder, can he accept it if his wife looks for sexual gratification elsewhere and engages in group sex and hires gigolo to service her from head to toe.

[westmom]

ChiefKiasu:

buds arh... I didn't realize you are as blind as me when it comes to Chinese :lol:

Make that 3 - I sigh each time I see chinese posting and wishes the site has software to do translation ..!

[westmom]

Funz:

I wonder, can he accept it if his wife looks for sexual gratification elsewhere and engages in group sex and hires gigolo to service her from head to toe.

Perhaps another question to pose to these married men who thinks there's nothing wrong in finding sexual pleasure elsewere....Will they accept a son-in-law who is doing this secretly if they find out that he is this \"type\"? Will they themselves be mad with their son-in-law? or future son-in law? It will be interesting to know what is their answer!

[Funz]

insider:

This kind of thing is 'fine' as long as the cat is not out of the bag else all hell may break loose.


I have seen quite a number of people who lead a double life (think I wrote something about this in one of the teenage thread). When people are well clothed, behave well, speak well, etc, we will assume that they are well and their true face probably is only known to themselves or only known to a selective group of people. Taking the 'story' a step further, his wife looks decent and humble and chances are she is a good woman but I cannot say that 100% she is 'clean' outside. What if she also has a similar life outside the home? If she also leads a double life, chances are he also will not accept and may file for divorce and the wife may do the same to him in the event that she discovers his 'hobby'.

So, as long as the cat is still in the bag, the Happy Family picture will still be intact...

PS: Aiya, talking about gigolo. Now recall I have another story about a girlfriend (not a close one) who keeps such outside her marriage. This story quite a dramatic one. People like this are usually with high sexual drive that cannot be satisfied by spouse and so maybe a 'mis-match' in terms of this area...

This is precisely what I am talking about. He wants women to get it into their heads that looking for pros, is not tantamount to a betrayal and that women should accept it and not read too much into it as to him it is about getting serviced (maybe to him it is like going for a spa?). But conversely if his wife were to engage in such activities, doubt he will be able to take it.

And of course, ignorance is bliss. But has he even considered the risk that he is exposing his wife to? So what if he uses a condom, there are other STDs that condoms cannot fully protect against and one of them is the HPV virus. Which also is the leading virus that causes cervical cancer in women.

Aiyoh, Insider, you have a lot of very 'colourful' frens. Really interesting to read your posts.

[winth]

westmom:

Perhaps another question to pose to these married men who thinks there's nothing wrong in finding sexual pleasure elsewere....Will they accept a son-in-law who is doing this secretly if they find out that he is this \"type\"? Will they themselves be mad with their son-in-law? or future son-in law? It will be interesting to know what is their answer!

:lol: I'm quite sure another highly logical answer will come out from such people that such act from the son-in-law is not acceptable but no one will point finger on the FIL. (I still can't get over the 'reason' he gave to insider and gang about why he looks for prostitutes)

These people think that the world evolves only around them.

[winth]

insider:

PS: Aiya, talking about gigolo. Now recall I have another story about a girlfriend (not a close one) who keeps such outside her marriage. This story quite a dramatic one. People like this are usually with high sexual drive that cannot be satisfied by spouse and so maybe a 'mis-match' in terms of this area...

There are really all types of people out there.
This is better than reading gossip papers man!

[Ahmih]

winth:

My guy friend who kanna STD (under treatment now), has very loose values of LOVE and SEX. Hope he recovers and changes his views of women as just sex (and brainless) objects.

Well, these type of guys always say pro they love family and will change, but quite rare. Can anyone here (confidently) quote anyone that they know who turns over new leaf in this aspect? Insider any positive story (besides your own account?) recover to recharge...

*sigh, they really shouldn't get married in the first place and all will be happy. Isn't it? Just play until they die lah, and keep friends for companionship loh. Why marry woman if you can't commit sexually?

[3Boys]

Looks like the men are conspicuous in their absence from this thread…

[MLR]

It took me a long time to decide about revealing one thing I regretted doing in my life (there aren’t many, for I am not one to dwell too much in the past). Its about me helping a guy friend (John) whom I know since primay school. It happened about 10 yrs ago.


I was a tomboy during school days and John is my buddy in sec school days. He was like the older brother that I don’t have. We were very close but no chemistry, so never become an item. We stayed in contact even after going our own ways(after O levels he went JC, I went poly).

When started working, used to hang out at least twice a month drinking, mahjong, karaoke sessions. He married his g/f from uni and still continue to stay in contact with me. Was his MC at his wedding.

He was doing well at work and was soon promoted to regional sales. He started travelling to Taiwan, Hong Kong, etc servicing clients. He would tell me about his "conquests" overseas and I was disturbed (his wife was pregnant then) and also disgusted about his doings. When I confront him, he said that he is married in S’pore but once out of the country he is single. His wife is gorgeous (she used to be a part-time model) and also capable (working as a manager in an MNC by mid 20s).

At that time I was bz with my own love life to be bothered by him and started to stay away from him. I did visit his wife when she delivered their 1st born girl. So we kinda got back into hanging out once in a while.
I asked him if he was still hving his flings, his answer was hes a family man in S’pore, but once out of here, he is single. He had actually kept "mistresses" in each country that he travelled to regularly. He said its safer and cheaper than pros. Tried to talk some sense and responsibilities to him, but fall on deaf ears. About a yr later his wife was expecting their 2nd child. I stayed away from them, cos it was difficult for me to keep such terrible things from his wife. But I had promised him not to tell his wife about it (stupid of me to give such a promise).

One day he came to my work place (which was a shock to me, cos we work in opposite sides of S’pore). He asked me to take the rest of the day off and help him. First thought was he lost his job or something happened to his wife/child(ren). Then he told me that his "mistress" from Taiwan was here in S’pore wanting an answer from him cos she was pregnant.

He wanted me to help him to talk to his wife about accepting his Taiwan mistress and her unborn child. I told him that I would do no such thing and I couldn’t/wouldn’t help him in such manner. He actually went down on his knees to beg me. I told him that I will instead talk to his Taiwan mistress, cos I hv my doubt about her pregnancy (John did mentioned that he practised safe sex with his mistresses) and also the parentage of the unborn child. Went to the hotel, confronted her w/o John and finally she said all she wanted was money (she had thought that John is a business man running a big company). She was pregnant but she had no intention to keep the baby. She also insisted the baby was John’s. She said 有钱好说话 (got maney, easy to talk). I recorded the conversation and let John know what happened and he was devastated. He thought she really loved him and didn’t mind being his mistress (how stupid can a man be). She wanted 250K, but bargained down to 100K, he had to loan money from friends and even took bank loans jus to pay the 100K. He also ended all relationships with the other girlfriends/mistresses.

He then became quite a different man for a period of time. No longer going for his drinking and clubbing sessions. I was happy for him, thinking that he had finally learnt his lesson. But this is not the end of the story. His wife had some complications during her 2nd delivery and had her womb removed. She then became a SAHM for a year or so when she got retrenched. During this period he went back to his old ways, I was very disgusted with him and I hinted to his wife that he was unfaithful. She packed up, took both kids and walked out. They got divorced and he ended up bankrupt and most friends stayed away from him. He is living alone in a rented room, driving taxi and last that I heard he is still partying away.

Till today I still think about him and ofthen wonder whether I did the right thing by telling his wife.

[Andaiz]

Hmmmm....seems like a straying spouse would always stray!

MLR:

Till today I still think about him and ofthen wonder whether I did the right thing by telling his wife.

MLR, I think you did the right thing :hugs: by HINTING to her of his indiscretion. :love: :love: It was entirely her choice as far as the following actions were concerned. How had she been after that? Do you know?