All About Full-Time Maids
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MintyMin:
One of my maid last time did not like children.....it was quite obvious from the start. She was good at chores, had initiative, would observe and learn.....but unfortunately, had no interest/patience to play with my 2 kids (then DS~3.5yo & DD 2yo).bzmum22:
Your DD2 is still young, may hv trouble understanding the concept of not hitting others. She may be copying the behaviour of adults in the house or that of her bro/sis. You will hv to keep a lookout for such acts and stop them. You will also hv to keep reinforcing that she cannot hit others. Plse also tell your older kids that it is not right to retaliate when one is being hit. I hv this strong feeling fr what you mentioned earlier abt your DD1's comments that she thinks that it is ok for the helper to hit her sister 'cos her sister hit the helper 1st. Plse tell her older kids to let you or your mum know if the helper hit them or they see the helper hitting the younger kid. Sometimes, they dun understand n they think that it is ok. So as parents, we hv to educate them.
As for your helper, if u still wan to keep her, plse issue strong warning. If I were you, I will change since this is not the 1st time she is caught hitting your kids. She is obviously not suitable to take care of young kids 'cos she seems unable to tolerate them n is losing self-control. You won't want unpleasant things to happen and you get to regret it.
My kids noe it is wrong to hit others, tatz for sure.. Except for DD1,as she has weird temper.. but now she's ok liao.. but both my older kids doesnt hit back when we hit them for doing the wrong tings.. But i noe i shld tell my kids too tat no matter wat.. it is not right for helper to hit them no matter who started it first, n i shld b the one disciplining the notti one..
Hmm.. tot of changing, but due to some factors i will haf to monitor a while more b4 strongly demanding tat i change her..
Thanks for ur advance, really appreciate it.
As a precaution, on a daily basis, I would always asked kids if the maid hit them or caused pain. Once when maid ~5 mths, DS said kaka hit his back. So I confronted the maid.....apparently, DS lost in a game and refused to admit defeat, dunno how she 'boxed' his back in a fit of anger. I could see the maid was frightened herself. Since it was her first, I gave her a stern warning and told her she could scold but not allowed to lay a finger on my kids. Any issue, come tell me & I'll handle it. And if my kids were to hit her, tell me too....I do not allow that as well.
Fortunately for me, she knew I meant business and it never happened again. Eventually, this maid turned out to be my best and most responsible maid I have had so far.....it was a pity when she decided to leave for HK for higher pay (actually, right from day 1 she had already indicated that she would only work 2 years in SG and off she'll go to HK). I could not afford to pay levy + 2x Salary, so had to let her go upon completion.
Kids are smart, they know who they can bully. I do not condone that. Any behaviour that I do not want my kids to do to me (hit, bite, yell, spit saliva, pinch etc etc), they can't do it to the maids too.........and I know my maids are appreciative of it.
Guess you need to really give your maid a stern warning since she has done it again. -
MintyMin:
I know what you mean. Very sian hor? It's like I already have to nag at my husband, my dog, my dd, and now I also have to nag at the maid. But i guess having a maid means having another person to manage. And i told my maid that I correct her so that she can do her job well and not waste her time and my time. When she does well, I will praise her also.
Erm.. My helper is alone wif my DD2 in d day n my mum will drop by every now n den.. or if not will bring DD2 w her n let helper clean the hse..
Yes.. i haf to really reinforce tat to her.. sigh.. really hate tis kind of prob.
Maids are also very smart; they will also know how to bully you if you don't put your foot down. So if can close one eye, then close, but for the important things like kids and safety, they must really know when to toe the line. -
omgmum:
omgmum,BZmum, and smh forest, my mum is the opposite of yours and will keep telling me not to be so ngiao! :razz:
My current maid after 3 weeks still doesn't really keep to the schedule. But cos I have to look after dd, and get her ready for school and stuff, I don't have the time to watch over her 24/7.
The funny thing is that although she appears to like playing with dd in front of me, what we are out with my mum, and the maid is supposed to help my mum with dd, the maid will be busy checking out her surroundings rather than help my mum.
sounds somewhat similar to the Fili I had... she also would act differently when she sees us around... and mine also didnt wanna take care of my kid though during the interview i had stated clearly tt she needs to help out when needed...
haizzz.. hopefully ur maid dun turn out like my case... she wanted to be sent back... n guess what? she got a good thrashing frm agent n boss of agency (according to agent lah...) and she is now with a family with 2 kids! i really hope that employer is luckier than me... this maid refuses to care for 1 kid at my house, but is now with 2 kids??? :shock: really makes me wonder if it was another \"just take me\" moment for that fili.... -
bzmum22:
I do the same too. But I noticed that my new bottle of eye cream seems to have been used up very quickly. Not sure if she accidentally overturned it when cleaning the bathroom or she actually used it. Guess I'm a bit paranoid after previous bad experiences.
Things that I dun wan maid to touch/see will be kept in cupboards/drawers which are out of bounds to her. Our master bedroom is on restricted access to the helper. My skin care is in the master bedroom toilet. She only gets to go inside once a day to do area cleaning, with my permission. So long as she dun attempt to use my skincare, if she wans to see, she can see all she wans
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cwc:
One of my maid last time did not like children.....it was quite obvious from the start. She was good at chores, had initiative, would observe and learn.....but unfortunately, had no interest/patience to play with my 2 kids (then DS~3.5yo & DD 2yo).MintyMin:
My kids noe it is wrong to hit others, tatz for sure.. Except for DD1,as she has weird temper.. but now she's ok liao.. but both my older kids doesnt hit back when we hit them for doing the wrong tings.. But i noe i shld tell my kids too tat no matter wat.. it is not right for helper to hit them no matter who started it first, n i shld b the one disciplining the notti one..
Hmm.. tot of changing, but due to some factors i will haf to monitor a while more b4 strongly demanding tat i change her..
Thanks for ur advance, really appreciate it.
As a precaution, on a daily basis, I would always asked kids if the maid hit them or caused pain. Once when maid ~5 mths, DS said kaka hit his back. So I confronted the maid.....apparently, DS lost in a game and refused to admit defeat, dunno how she 'boxed' his back in a fit of anger. I could see the maid was frightened herself. Since it was her first, I gave her a stern warning and told her she could scold but not allowed to lay a finger on my kids. Any issue, come tell me & I'll handle it. And if my kids were to hit her, tell me too....I do not allow that as well.
Fortunately for me, she knew I meant business and it never happened again. Eventually, this maid turned out to be my best and most responsible maid I have had so far.....it was a pity when she decided to leave for HK for higher pay (actually, right from day 1 she had already indicated that she would only work 2 years in SG and off she'll go to HK). I could not afford to pay levy + 2x Salary, so had to let her go upon completion.
Kids are smart, they know who they can bully. I do not condone that. Any behaviour that I do not want my kids to do to me (hit, bite, yell, spit saliva, pinch etc etc), they can't do it to the maids too.........and I know my maids are appreciative of it.
Guess you need to really give your maid a stern warning since she has done it again.
Lucky u..
Last mth i sternly told my helper tat she is only allow to scold but not lay hands on my kids, coz i can easily consider tat as abused to my kids as well, n shld my kids beat her, she shld let me know. N also to my kids whenever they shout at her or try to beat her (which beating helper is only DD2), i will scold n beat them too and told them in front of helper tat helper is only her to help me not let them beat n scold and she is their elder, so they cannot do tat.
I tot tat is clear enuff to show tat i mean biz n my kids muz also respect her n she shld appreciate.. but i guess i m wrong n shld reinforce it again.. sigh.. -
omgmum:
Maids are also very smart; they will also know how to bully you if you don't put your foot down. So if can close one eye, then close, but for the important things like kids and safety, they must really know when to toe the line.MintyMin:
Erm.. My helper is alone wif my DD2 in d day n my mum will drop by every now n den.. or if not will bring DD2 w her n let helper clean the hse..
Yes.. i haf to really reinforce tat to her.. sigh.. really hate tis kind of prob.
Yupz.. My ex maid did tat.. in d end.. it seems more like she's the employer i m the maid.. so i told myself.. tat shld nvr happen AGAIN.. -
SMH FOREST:
I still can't decide if she likes to take care of kids or not. I guess when we're at home, she likes to play with dd cos otherwise she has no one to talk to since I don't really talk to her. But when we're outside, there're more distractions and she assumes that one of us will take care of dd.
omgmum,
sounds somewhat similar to the Fili I had... she also would act differently when she sees us around... and mine also didnt wanna take care of my kid though during the interview i had stated clearly tt she needs to help out when needed...
haizzz.. hopefully ur maid dun turn out like my case... she wanted to be sent back... n guess what? she got a good thrashing frm agent n boss of agency (according to agent lah...) and she is now with a family with 2 kids! i really hope that employer is luckier than me... this maid refuses to care for 1 kid at my house, but is now with 2 kids??? :shock: really makes me wonder if it was another \"just take me\" moment for that fili....
will just have to observe longer...
Aiyoh, how is your ex-maid going to cope with 2 kids, if she can't even tahan 1? Hope she has woken up her idea!
Actually, after my recent maid-hunting incident, and after hearing all my friends' horror stories, I've come to the conclusion that getting a good maid is really a matter of heng suay. I've a friend who chose her maid just based on biodata, and she got a fantastic indo maid who is v good. In fact, her maid's english is so much better than my pinoy one. I have to speak very slowly and use hand gestures with mine. You can only be certain of the maid's proficiency in English when you interview her.
And my maid is supposed to have 3 years of exp in Phili as a housemaid doing chores and looking after 3 kids, but judging from the way she does things, I suspect that either she or the agent was lying. -
double confirm the maid lied about her exp. Just asked her to boil an egg and she didn't know how to. How could she have cooked for 3 kids? :slapshead:
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omgmum:
double confirm the maid lied about her exp. Just asked her to boil an egg and she didn't know how to. How could she have cooked for 3 kids? :slapshead:
Hmmmm.....looks like you really have to observe your maid. Either lied or just wanna pretend so that dun have to do. As for the kids, also better monitor.....your DD2 is still very young, may not be able to verbalize well, so gotta be vigilant.
Yes, I would considered myself pretty lucky considering my 3 maids were quite OK (I mean, want to niao got a lot to complain, but if close eyes, can lah). Back then, my top priority was my kids.....treat & care for them well. As I bring my maid & kids to in-laws while I worked, at night back in my home the maid knocked off ~9pm while I'll continue to settle the remaining chores. At times, maid would auto help, but I try to minimise the daily chores and leave some for alternate/weekly etc. -
Dear all, need your views. My fresh maid from Indo has "no result" from the medical centre for her blood test, tested twice, so now they have to sent her to Changi hospital to detail test. I can choose to repatriate her back at agency cost or should i wait for the result from hospital? Any1 has encounter this before, my mum said sound scary as its blood related???
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