In-law problems?

[chocolatebar]

sall:

chocolatebar:

I think no matter how nice is ur mother-in-law (normally is mother-in-law lar) it is still very awkard to stay tgt. For my ex bf, I went to his house and his mom actually is very nice but u know,erm, just awkard. After dinner, I don't know should I wash the dishes or not (in fact I normally ll at least wash my one).If I wash dishes I seem like a maid or maybe his mom wont like someone else to touch her kitchen, I dont know... if I dont do anything then I ll feel embarassing is like 白吃白住...and his mom actually wash the dishes very late like mid 12 or 1 o'clock... Dear mommies here, do you mind that someone else help u to wash all the dishes up? or just leave it? I have too many considerations~ :roll:

You don't have to feel embarassed, some old people are extremely fussy, if you help with the dishes or housework, they may feel that it's not clean enough and will redo it. For others, they will take you like a maid and then, you'll have to do the dishes and housework forever. My mom is very fussy, when I help her to do some housework, she'll redo it. I was furious when I saw that, :mad: so now I don't help her at all.

[quote]yeah! you got the point! that s the point! my ex said if u do she ll think it not clean enough! so he nvr do the housework. lol. but then i still feel embarassed so tat time i actually reduce of going to his house. no choice! haha[/quote]

[janet88]

chocolatebar:

I think no matter how nice is ur mother-in-law (normally is mother-in-law lar) it is still very awkard to stay tgt. For my ex bf, I went to his house and his mom actually is very nice but u know,erm, just awkard. After dinner, I don't know should I wash the dishes or not (in fact I normally ll at least wash my one).If I wash dishes I seem like a maid or maybe his mom wont like someone else to touch her kitchen, I dont know...

It's the trivial stuff that makes things awkward.
Anyway, his mother is fussy with the dishes...she claims she must use hot water...don't know how she can do so when water is hot.

Staying together is very difficult because we have our own way of doing things...and brought up differently too. Before we got married, I went to his place once and was shocked to see then-bf-now-hubby hanging his sister's wet undies from the washing machine...disgusting :yikes:
His mother was away and he had to do the laundry. OMG, sister's underwear thrown into the washing machine with the rest of the clothes ??? Sorry I can't accept it.

[auntieM]

Agree with you janet_lee88.. ..we all have our own way of doing things..

My MIL plays mahjong with her undergarments hanging above the table.. ..the sight of that made me :shock: ..

[LOLMum]

chocolatebar:

I think no matter how nice is ur mother-in-law (normally is mother-in-law lar) it is still very awkard to stay tgt. For my ex bf, I went to his house and his mom actually is very nice but u know,erm, just awkard. After dinner, I don't know should I wash the dishes or not (in fact I normally ll at least wash my one).If I wash dishes I seem like a maid or maybe his mom wont like someone else to touch her kitchen, I dont know... if I dont do anything then I ll feel embarassing is like 白吃白住...and his mom actually wash the dishes very late like mid 12 or 1 o'clock... Dear mommies here, do you mind that someone else help u to wash all the dishes up? or just leave it? I have too many considerations~ :roll:

my personal experience - first visit to her house, i helped with the washing and cleaning up the table. she said no need to help wash cos' i wouldnt know where to take and put things. fair enough, so i helped with bringing in the dirty dishes, put leftover in the fridge, wiped the table and chairs and throw the rubbish away. bf now dh didnt say anything but i knew he was observing how we got along. subsequent visits, even if she said no, i still help and asked her to show me how she do things. even if she doesnt like the way i do things i didnt say or show black face, since it is her house, just do it her way. after our marriage, she came to live with us, we seldon clashed cos though she was able to listen to my views and we also compromised. now back to her house, even if my sils (his bros' wives) do not help in the kitchen, i will still do my share of work. it doesnt bother me who is helping or not helping.

i told dd that for her first visit to her bf's house, she must help out. even if his mum says no, just find ways to help like putting plates on table, take the food out, pour drinks for all, after dinner, help to clean the table, clear the rubbish . this is call 自动。

[pinky]

auntieM:

Agree with you janet_lee88.. ..we all have our own way of doing things..

My MIL plays mahjong with her undergarments hanging above the table.. ..the sight of that made me :shock: ..

maybe the undergarments 'wang' (prosper) her :evil: :evil:

[janet88]

auntieM:

Agree with you janet_lee88.. ..we all have our own way of doing things..

My MIL plays mahjong with her undergarments hanging above the table.. ..the sight of that made me :shock: ..

Are HER undergarments RED ? :rotflmao:

[Willow]

:rotflmao:

[Willow]

my MIL loves to give us stuff that she doesnt want anymore like:

- dirty muddy slippers ( for me to use it in the bathroom...first time didnt know ...whole floor all muddy :yikes: )
-her clothes which she thinks fits me ( :roll: i 'm not that old yet k)
- fruits ( strongly hinting that i never feed my family fruits at all)
- pillowcases tt are a tad too yellow for me ....
etc etc
sometimes i think she is trying to see how i will react only :roll:

[janet88]

Willow:

my MIL loves to give us stuff that she doesnt want anymore like:

- dirty muddy slippers ( for me to use it in the bathroom...first time didnt know ...whole floor all muddy :yikes: )
-her clothes which she thinks fits me ( :roll: i 'm not that old yet k)
- fruits ( strongly hinting that i never feed my family fruits at all)
- pillowcases tt are a tad too yellow for me ....
etc etc
sometimes i think she is trying to see how i will react only :roll:

I think it's ridiculous that she passes all her old stuff to you...esp her clothes. No matter what, I don't think you are that old to wear her clothing. If she gives me her 'precious treasures', I will tell her nicely to keep them.

[BeContented]

janet_lee88:

Willow:

my MIL loves to give us stuff that she doesnt want anymore like:

- dirty muddy slippers ( for me to use it in the bathroom...first time didnt know ...whole floor all muddy :yikes: )
-her clothes which she thinks fits me ( :roll: i 'm not that old yet k)
- fruits ( strongly hinting that i never feed my family fruits at all)
- pillowcases tt are a tad too yellow for me ....
etc etc
sometimes i think she is trying to see how i will react only :roll:

I think it's ridiculous that she passes all her old stuff to you...esp her clothes. No matter what, I don't think you are that old to wear her clothing. If she gives me her 'precious treasures', I will tell her nicely to keep them.

what I do is
- take only those newer/useful ones then reject others telling her I dun need
- if cannot reject, take then dump ..... of course must do behind her back. My MIL realised what I did after some time & stopped her rubbish-dumping action eventually. :evil: