If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?

[skunk]

insider:

a personal choice = not subject to criticism.

so if a person believes in self-mutilation, it's his/her own body mah, we shouldn't criticise?

We live in an inter-connected world, nobody is an island. ALL our decisions impact others, we know or not.

Out of the entire childbearing population, a certain proportion doesn't get married and will not have kids or is married but never have kids. A proportion have only 1 kid, maybe a certain proportion have 2 kids. But if the number who have 3 or less, is less than those having 2, it means we have a net population decrease. What is the result?

The result is we need to have immigration, stressing the integration and fabric of society, and brings along so many problems of its own, rather than having a population reproduce itself.

So how can we say it's a \"personal decision\" that won't affect others? From what i see, the effect is more negative than positive.

[ChiefKiasu]

3Boys:

... Why can't personal choices be criticised by others, as long as no offensive language is used? ...


So here goes. Judgement is best made with understanding, not dogma. If one does not understand, then one should not criticise. Dogma is unhelpful to productive discussion, particularly where the rules of engagement should be at the very least benefit of the doubt and respect for the other persons point of view. Dogma is for dogs, sliced, or diced, or otherwise consumed.

You will see from my other posts that I am far from an agreeable, head-nodding sycophant, so it is not a parrot I seek. There is nothing wrong in expressing an extreme view, as you have on a number of issues, its quite another thing to p*** on someone else's, if you will pardon my french.

Indeed, I couldn't have said it better than 3Boys.

skunk, context is often lost in cyberspace, and your point and position is already well understood from your posts. But this is not a presidential debate where there has to be clear winners and losers. This is a public forum where everyone has the right to express their position. You can choose to disagree with others' positions by stating why you prefer your own position vis-a-viz theirs. But if you choose a confrontational approach that may be misunderstood to be a personal attack on the person, it becomes non-constructive with everyone becoming withdrawn and guarded. Do give consideration on the feelings of the other party when you reply.

[Little M]

Yes, everyone chill out. We r all getting out of context here.


Hmm... back to the topic of having more kids.

If i m younger....maybe. Now i m enjoying having my life (or part of my life) back now that my younger one is 5. So no more kids for me :lol:

[TogetherinParis]

skunk:

3Boys:

Crime is a very complicated social prob, i'm sure there's a connection between the two, but abortion should not be considered a \"cure for crime.\" To be sure, the cure for crime is the annihilation of the human race. No humans = no crime. Conversely, the annihilation of crime is to remove law and order. No law = no crime, since there is no law to be broken. U see what i'm driving at? It's a simplistic conclusion.
.

Crime is not complicated, nor is it social. It is quite simple, due to a pheromone deficiency, and easily remedied like a vitamin deficiency. There is a pheromonal cure for crime. It is a bit tedious to collect, but it is otherwise ubiquitous. It is the greases from the father's face. That shine on the ends of men's noses is a human pheromone that we pass to our children in affectionate behavior. Thus unlimited paternal love and compassion will cure crime, so will 150 mg of healthy adult male facial skin surface lipid pheromone p.o. It is a broad spectrum sociopatholytic human pheromone, so it 'cures' homosexuality and other perversions as well as drug addiction and delinquency. It may also improve autoimmune disease.

[skunk]

TogetherinParis:

Crime is not complicated, nor is it social. It is quite simple, due to a pheromone deficiency, and easily remedied like a vitamin deficiency. There is a pheromonal cure for crime. It is a bit tedious to collect, but it is otherwise ubiquitous. It is the greases from the father's face. That shine on the ends of men's noses is a human pheromone that we pass to our children in affectionate behavior. Thus unlimited paternal love and compassion will cure crime, so will 150 mg of healthy adult male facial skin surface lipid pheromone p.o. It is a broad spectrum sociopatholytic human pheromone, so it 'cures' homosexuality and other perversions as well as drug addiction and delinquency. It may also improve autoimmune disease.

It makes very good sense and could very well be true, thanks for the knowledge, i've learnt something new today.

my girl is getting a good dose of daddy-lard everyday LOL

[skunk]

TogetherinParis:

Crime is not complicated, nor is it social. It is quite simple, due to a pheromone deficiency, and easily remedied like a vitamin deficiency. There is a pheromonal cure for crime. It is a bit tedious to collect, but it is otherwise ubiquitous. It is the greases from the father's face. That shine on the ends of men's noses is a human pheromone that we pass to our children in affectionate behavior. Thus unlimited paternal love and compassion will cure crime, so will 150 mg of healthy adult male facial skin surface lipid pheromone p.o. It is a broad spectrum sociopatholytic human pheromone, so it 'cures' homosexuality and other perversions as well as drug addiction and delinquency. It may also improve autoimmune disease.

do u happen to have any online resource for this? This is so interesting.

[3Boys]

TogetherinParis:

3Boys:

Crime is a very complicated social prob, i'm sure there's a connection between the two, but abortion should not be considered a \"cure for crime.\" To be sure, the cure for crime is the annihilation of the human race. No humans = no crime. Conversely, the annihilation of crime is to remove law and order. No law = no crime, since there is no law to be broken. U see what i'm driving at? It's a simplistic conclusion.
.

Crime is not complicated, nor is it social. It is quite simple, due to a pheromone deficiency, and easily remedied like a vitamin deficiency. There is a pheromonal cure for crime. It is a bit tedious to collect, but it is otherwise ubiquitous. It is the greases from the father's face. That shine on the ends of men's noses is a human pheromone that we pass to our children in affectionate behavior. Thus unlimited paternal love and compassion will cure crime, so will 150 mg of healthy adult male facial skin surface lipid pheromone p.o. It is a broad spectrum sociopatholytic human pheromone, so it 'cures' homosexuality and other perversions as well as drug addiction and delinquency. It may also improve autoimmune disease.

Complete nonsense......

[kiasimom]

winth:

Hi Jedamum,


Various reasons why we are considering:
- Actually, this is my last chance of having another child as I went through C-section twice. So gynae said my next one has to be compulsory C-section and will not have option of even having 4th or 5th.
- If it was a girl, would be good, a change. But having 3 boys would be fun since I have more male hormones than female.
- Fortune-telling formed part of the reason.
- Some friends (who have 3 children) told us that commitment level will not increase whether you have 2 or 3 kids, drastic change comes only when you increase from 1 to 2. But dunno if this is true.
[quote]my elder boy is resenting ideas of having additional siblings as he knows that with another sibling, my time will be further divided.

Good point! Maybe I should ask my 5 year old since I suspect there is sibling rivalry between my boys.[/quote]We are in the same boat. I had C section twice too. I am recently also thinking if I should have a 3rd child.
But when my eldest is already 9 and my 2nd is 7 years old, I am not sure if I am prepared to go through the baby raising road again.

[schellen]

kiasimom:

We are in the same boat. I had C section twice too. I am recently also thinking if I should have a 3rd child.

But when my eldest is already 9 and my 2nd is 7 years old, I am not sure if I am prepared to go through the baby raising road again.

Well, my elder DD is 7 and I'm expecting my 2nd DD in Dec. They're almost 8 years apart. Sometimes, I wonder if I can do it again, especially since I'm in my 30s now. But DD1 is at the age where she is capable of being responsible and helping me with my chores, and she has her own social life too. We have included her in as many decisions we make for DD2 as possible and she is anxiously waiting for the arrival of her long-awaited sister. (^_^)

My sis and I are 6 years apart so at first, I thought that that might have been the reason we don't feel so close but looking back, I realised that my parents didn't involve me in any of the decisions/preparations at all, except when they needed me to babysit and coach her. This was their mistake. I feel that no matter how busy DH and I are, DD1 should always be involved. This will make the age gap negligible, especially when they get older.

[winth]

kiasimom:

We are in the same boat. I had C section twice too. I am recently also thinking if I should have a 3rd child.
But when my eldest is already 9 and my 2nd is 7 years old, I am not sure if I am prepared to go through the baby raising road again.

Hi Kiasimom,

My youngest brother and I are 9 years apart and I am much closer to him, as compared to my another younger brother who is less than 2 years away from me.

When my parents gave birth to my youngest brother, I could already take care of him and not 'burden' my parents further on the sibling rivalry or attention seeking portion. Instead, my parents had an extra helping hand and eyes to help look after my baby brother. To me, as long as you are below 40, the energy level to take care of another baby should still be there.

In my opinion, the more crucial thing is whether DH and you are mentally ready, cos the first few years of the new born would take up almost 90% of daddy & mummy's energy level and attention away, so couple time will take the back seat for the next 1-2 years till infant is ready. It is important for the marriage to be strong to withstand that 1-2 years of tough child-rearing years cos most marriages become rocky during that period. In that case, it's really not worth the risk.

DH and I have decided that we should skip this baby planning to much later cos now alot of things on hand to handle. We might not be mentally prepared. Plus I have a 2.5 year old now, it's still tough on us physically and emotionally.

So kiasimom, I don't see yours a problem for your kids are already independent liao... Go ahead and act on it!