How do you maintain your relationship with your spouse?

[phankao]

Pooh Bear:

I have read somewhere that \"to treat the spouse at slighter higher priority than the kids\". Once you can achieve it, the marriage will be intact and kids will have a happy family naturally. By loving my kids, I should love my husband a bit more so that my kids will have a stronger family. Loving husband is a work-in-progress and we should treat it an \"empty box\" situation whereby we always have to put things in before taking things out.

Then should just not have kids. That'd be the best. Or else so stressful to keep trying to be one-up, right? From scenario above, it does seem that husband is worse than a kid, and that kids are not good for the family!

[vlim]

phankao:

Then should just not have kids. That'd be the best. Or else so stressful to keep trying to be one-up, right? From scenario above, it does seem that husband is worse than a kid, and that kids are not good for the family!

For mummies like us who are very concern of our children education, no choice got to neglect a bit of our dh especially when near to children exams. It would be best if we can get our dh involve in coaching our children too, so he would be in the 'same boat'... And understand our 苦恼，... Else apart from planning revision time with kids we also got tp spare a liitle time for our 'neglected' dh

[Pooh Bear]

if one does not put in effort to maintain relationship, then it is better not be married or worst, have kids. Work-in-progress always… however, marriage and motherhood do have their rewards…after you put in effort first lah…

[kiddo]

in Family with kids -Mommy became a very important person to keep the

family together because of our maternal instinct esp when the child is very young ....as the child grow older , then Dad take over and get more involved . Dad is seen as the strategist and Mum the tradesman because Mum is good at multi-tasking and dealing with details...

Spouses - if we can complement the long and short of each other
the child will flourish
:hi5:

[SmallMedLarge]

It hard to juggle between kids + dh + a full time job + managing household (even with maid, maid usually not on "AUTO" mode one!)


For myself, I have young children and I work full time.

Sex - Hiaz… I think we have reached an age where its not longer spontaneous so DH and I would try to make it every say Wednesday nite … LOL… Most of the time we skip cos too tired but at least one or twice sucessful (must get all kids in bed first! stress!)

We also try to take half days off work to go spa or just go and have lunch…

Its important not to neglect our DH as well.

And more important must take cate of ourselves.

[gaffy]

ksme:

Received the following from friend recently. Very thought provoking.


...都太執著用「自己」的方法愛對方，而不是用「對方」的方式愛另一半。自己累得半死，對方還感受不到，最後面對婚姻的期待，也就灰心而死了。

既然上帝創造婚姻，我想，每個人都值得擁有一個好婚姻，只要方法用對，作「對方要的﹗」而非自己「想給的﹗」

好婚姻，絕對是可預期的。

:thankyou: so much for sharing this!!! I've been very troubled cos I thought I was facing serious communication problem in my marriage. Was feeling very depressed for quite some time. Thought my marriage was heading downhill.
After reading this article, it was like 一言惊醒梦中人!!! Bull's eye! So this is what it is all about! It is quite similar to the 5 love languages from Gary Chapman. I've just started reading that book. I feel so relieved now cos I finally understand that it's something that can be solved.

[yanyan]

I ask my hb: How to improve our marriage life?"

My hb reply: if u think our marriage life got prob…go see a counsellor…

HAIZ…I give up toking to him!

[Pooh Bear]

some guys are just hopeless in upkeeping romance… I told my galfriend who confided me in her dull marriage "to treat husband like a furniture at home; it’s there, it’s useful yet hopeless in sweet-talking". She was appalled! But my hb is good to change lightbulbs, mend broken stuffs, buy groceries, help out at home –> love in different language.

[gaffy]

Check this out. Quite interesting. Got my DH and DD to try too!


http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

[casey29]

Seems that once marriage grows longer, communication seems harder…and especially so with kids… 有心无力!! So tiring…and no help to

"park" the kids and cant leave kids alone with maid…