Please read n help me if u can, urgent advise needed...

[urgenthelp]

Dear All,


I am Sorry for not logging in and view all the msgs that you all post and PM me, you guys are supportive and yet I went missing… Truely sorry. I will reply all one by one…

[urgenthelp]

Hi dicky,


Thanks for supporting me. I will try my best to walk out of depression… I did called counselling helplines and cried out of my heart… But all they could do is to console me. But I feel thats good enough. At least they listens to my cries.

[urgenthelp]

Hi UncleLim,


Thank you so much for helping me posting here to raise funds to help me. I do not know how to put my words, but i greatly appreciate you.

I have pm you too…


Thanks unclelim.

[urgenthelp]

Hi ChiefKiasu @ site admin,


Thanks for giving me suggestions where to seek for help, I do not and will not blame the site, as I understand every house will have its rules.

Anyway I know all here are parents with kids and family to feed, all money are hard earn, using blood, sweat and time to earn back. I do not dare to dream that money will drop from sky as I know this will nv come true in my life.


Thanks so much.

[urgenthelp]

Hi teh_oh,


Thanks for your posting.

Do your parents know that you are in debt? - Yes, but they do not know the exact amt, even I tell them they would not have the sum of amt to help me, so I rather not say anything to let them worry.

Do you have any siblings or relatives to help you? - No, not much relatives and we are not close at all either, and siblings just finish sch and working, no savings.

How about your husband's side? - worst, they wont bother and will not extend help even they can. :sad:

Have you and your husband thought about changing to a higher paid job or job with more overtime potential? Or taking up a second job to supplement income? - We do not dare to change job, stick to the old one is better den new as we do not know the new company well and cannot afford anything to happen to job.


Its ok that you nv read my history, its a long story anyway. Mum is tired of taking care of my child already, coz she is getting old too.. So I got no choice but to put to CC.


Thanks so much for reading and posting.

[urgenthelp]

Hi dicky,


Thanks for your post reagarding depression.

I called counselling helplines and also done the survey and they confirm that I am having depression as I do not know how to control myself at times. And most of the time I am wandering. I do not know how to put it in words. Maybe its minor depression or what.

I do not wish to know either. I just know, I am just tired, empty, sick and tired of everything. I have even not much energy to post reply, coz i am tired of using my brains.

anyway, i am not really clear of what i am posting regarding this depression. coz i truely tired. i do not wish to know furture either.

[MMM]

urgenthelp:

Do your parents know that you are in debt? - Yes, but they do not know the exact amt, even I tell them they would not have the sum of amt to help me, so I rather not say anything to let them worry.

Mum is tired of taking care of my child already, coz she is getting old too.. So I got no choice but to put to CC.

Urgenthelp,

I feel that it's good to be transparent with your parents on your current situation. They might not be able to help financially but if they are aware of the financial situation you are in, etc..., your mum will most likely continue to help you to take care of your child. Like what other forumners advised, consider sending your child to PCF? so that your mum has 3 hours break to do her own stuff.

I have a cousin (do not know the exact situation) in her case but heard that it is due to financial issues, she sold off her hdb flat at punggol and moved in with her parents together with dd + hubby. I feel that parents usually will not turn their own children away.

[urgenthelp]

Hi MMM,



Actually its has been long time that I didnt update my situation with my Mum too…

I have better relationship with her now. A good news at least for all who is concern about me. I have try to put myself in her shoes too. I feel she has also given me unconditionate love during this few years, though there is naggings. its just that i am venting my frustration on her and she is so innocent to tolerate my nonsense.

She had at least taken care of my child for free during this 3years, buy things out of her own pocket knowing that I do not have much cash. I really feel so miserable what a child am I to dis-grade my own mother in this forum. Complaining so much about how she dislike me and do not wish me to shift back to her place. I feel shame of myself. very very shameful. a disgrace daughter.

I have shower her with more love now. understand her too. and relations are getting better. she told me, she is not, not willing to let me shift back. only worried two families staying together will have quarrel. I do not know how its gonna be. But even i really got to rent house or whatever. I promise to myself I will not blame any single thing on my mum anymore.

She is the most loving person that i ever love. she is the one who gave birth to me, carry me thru out the 10 mths no matter how hard it is. bear the pain and give birth to me. feed me and dote me with her life. just like how am i treating my child. I am a mother myself too, but i just dun understand, why i am a failure as a mother. even as a child of my mother. my tears are dripping non-stop when i type about this. coz i feel shame of myself…

i am very very sad and hurt… who am i to blame a mother… i do not have any reasons to do that! i really feel ashamed!

[verykiasu2010]

urgenthelp:

Hi MMM,



Actually its has been long time that I didnt update my situation with my Mum too..

I have better relationship with her now. A good news at least for all who is concern about me. I have try to put myself in her shoes too. I feel she has also given me unconditionate love during this few years, though there is naggings. its just that i am venting my frustration on her and she is so innocent to tolerate my nonsense.

She had at least taken care of my child for free during this 3years, buy things out of her own pocket knowing that I do not have much cash. I really feel so miserable what a child am I to dis-grade my own mother in this forum. Complaining so much about how she dislike me and do not wish me to shift back to her place. I feel shame of myself. very very shameful. a disgrace daughter.

I have shower her with more love now. understand her too. and relations are getting better. she told me, she is not, not willing to let me shift back. only worried two families staying together will have quarrel. I do not know how its gonna be. But even i really got to rent house or whatever. I promise to myself I will not blame any single thing on my mum anymore.

She is the most loving person that i ever love. she is the one who gave birth to me, carry me thru out the 10 mths no matter how hard it is. bear the pain and give birth to me. feed me and dote me with her life. just like how am i treating my child. I am a mother myself too, but i just dun understand, why i am a failure as a mother. even as a child of my mother. my tears are dripping non-stop when i type about this. coz i feel shame of myself...

i am very very sad and hurt... who am i to blame a mother.... i do not have any reasons to do that! i really feel ashamed!

it is good to know that your relationship with your mother is better now and both you realise you do care for each other, minus all the \"noises\" (in terms of naggings.....etc). You will miss those naggings when she is no more around ...

and you don't need to go on blaming yourself for those thoughts you had about your mother last time. Let bygone be bygone and you can see that your mother does not hold grudges. her worries about potential quarrels is real. both side just need to learn to cope and adjust.

you should let go of the past, don't hold on to them in your thoughts. once you let go, you will be happier. Imagine, if you don't let go of the rotten apple in your hand, it will continue to stink and you have no hand to receive new things - new hope. Live for the present. Let the past be past. Tomorrow will be better - is yours to make it. Every new day is a day of new hope. You are getting there !

[dicky]

No worries… There is nothing to be ashamed about.


Even if it’s the case, given our asian conservative society and family values, it reflects more badly on your DH. More so if he is not bearing more of the burden of the debt. Or that he had to move to your family house rather than being able to support his family and his family side…

DH always encourage me this: The best gift to our parents is to treasure your parent’s ultimate gift to you, your life. Our parents do not really expect anything in return, other than able to see you to fully live your own life well and happy…

Repeat: there is nothing to be ashamed of. So do keep your spirits up, get your finance in order, the light at the end of the tunnel is closer than you think.