LOLmum,


I did check with my lawyer, she will be summon to court too… But she is a china worker… I dunno what court will do to her… I did tell my lawyer I want to repatriate her back, but lawyer say she did not commit adultery, is my DH commit. she will just be send to court coz she is the co-defendent. But PI says can, they will help me raise a report to MOM and she will be investigate, most likely out of SG forever coz she is not suppose to commit this under her WP regulations… Kind of confuse too…

But am just worried, dunno in future my maintainence will be also having a hard time… coz he will nv save and always anyhow spend… reading thru the forum just now, seems like alot of ex-wifes find it hard to claim alimony and maintainence…

anyone going thru this and can share experience what if ex dun pay?

thanks.

Dear All,


Just wish to find support here… Reading thru all the EMA that we as wife have to accept, forgive and forget is really a torturing thing. I can understand all who have gone thru this, as I am going thru it myself now… Its really hurtful… for guys who are reading my post, sincerely wish and hope that as a man take care of ur lawful wife well, they are only the one who will love u, treat you good, and hold ur hands till ur last breath. but if u choose to betray them, u may not have a good ending too.

I had a very hard time standing up from my DH EMA. This is not the first time he fling, but normally what I caught is always sms and phone calls. Recently for half a year, he has always been out late, nv ending entertainment with colleagues. Whenever I call or sms it will forever be missed call and no returns. Ever check his mobile and saw him and the girl hugging together tightly and tell me its normal… My heart really aches. Telling me it was my fault on not able to communicate with him, so he find someone who he is comfortable with to talk with. but talking does it have to be so close? Recently, I really cannot take the blow anymore. Went to engage PI and true enough I caught them having an affair… Engaging a lawyer now to proceed with divorce.

I just dun understand, I have started to change away what ever he dun like becoz of the marriage, but he dun seems appreciating and still went to stray outside. Giving all the same excuse as some of others who encounter it here…

Now I have tell myself, its time to let go… one day he will regret from it… coz once we woman have concrete prove on hand. they will be doom…

Girls, be strong… I know its not easy for us, and especially we still have a kid to take care of… but always remember to protect ourselfs if they no longer protect us. Get PI to have ur concrete prove and they will have to pay for the price of being unfaithful. If prove of adultery, ur PI fees and lawyer fee is fully claimable from the heartless man… So nv save for them, they are the one who fail us…

Still struggling very hard to accept and to move on… Hope to find people here who are the having the same problem here and able to support each other to go thru this hard time…

I tell myself, I will survive… He will regret…

Hi MMM,



Actually its has been long time that I didnt update my situation with my Mum too…

I have better relationship with her now. A good news at least for all who is concern about me. I have try to put myself in her shoes too. I feel she has also given me unconditionate love during this few years, though there is naggings. its just that i am venting my frustration on her and she is so innocent to tolerate my nonsense.

She had at least taken care of my child for free during this 3years, buy things out of her own pocket knowing that I do not have much cash. I really feel so miserable what a child am I to dis-grade my own mother in this forum. Complaining so much about how she dislike me and do not wish me to shift back to her place. I feel shame of myself. very very shameful. a disgrace daughter.

I have shower her with more love now. understand her too. and relations are getting better. she told me, she is not, not willing to let me shift back. only worried two families staying together will have quarrel. I do not know how its gonna be. But even i really got to rent house or whatever. I promise to myself I will not blame any single thing on my mum anymore.

She is the most loving person that i ever love. she is the one who gave birth to me, carry me thru out the 10 mths no matter how hard it is. bear the pain and give birth to me. feed me and dote me with her life. just like how am i treating my child. I am a mother myself too, but i just dun understand, why i am a failure as a mother. even as a child of my mother. my tears are dripping non-stop when i type about this. coz i feel shame of myself…

i am very very sad and hurt… who am i to blame a mother… i do not have any reasons to do that! i really feel ashamed!

Hi dicky,


Thanks for your post reagarding depression.

I called counselling helplines and also done the survey and they confirm that I am having depression as I do not know how to control myself at times. And most of the time I am wandering. I do not know how to put it in words. Maybe its minor depression or what.

I do not wish to know either. I just know, I am just tired, empty, sick and tired of everything. I have even not much energy to post reply, coz i am tired of using my brains.

anyway, i am not really clear of what i am posting regarding this depression. coz i truely tired. i do not wish to know furture either.

Hi teh_oh,


Thanks for your posting.

Do your parents know that you are in debt? - Yes, but they do not know the exact amt, even I tell them they would not have the sum of amt to help me, so I rather not say anything to let them worry.

Do you have any siblings or relatives to help you? - No, not much relatives and we are not close at all either, and siblings just finish sch and working, no savings.

How about your husband's side? - worst, they wont bother and will not extend help even they can. :sad:

Have you and your husband thought about changing to a higher paid job or job with more overtime potential? Or taking up a second job to supplement income? - We do not dare to change job, stick to the old one is better den new as we do not know the new company well and cannot afford anything to happen to job.


Its ok that you nv read my history, its a long story anyway. Mum is tired of taking care of my child already, coz she is getting old too.. So I got no choice but to put to CC.


Thanks so much for reading and posting.

Hi ChiefKiasu @ site admin,


Thanks for giving me suggestions where to seek for help, I do not and will not blame the site, as I understand every house will have its rules.

Anyway I know all here are parents with kids and family to feed, all money are hard earn, using blood, sweat and time to earn back. I do not dare to dream that money will drop from sky as I know this will nv come true in my life.


Thanks so much.

Hi UncleLim,


Thank you so much for helping me posting here to raise funds to help me. I do not know how to put my words, but i greatly appreciate you.

I have pm you too…


Thanks unclelim.

Hi dicky,


Thanks for supporting me. I will try my best to walk out of depression… I did called counselling helplines and cried out of my heart… But all they could do is to console me. But I feel thats good enough. At least they listens to my cries.

Dear All,


I am Sorry for not logging in and view all the msgs that you all post and PM me, you guys are supportive and yet I went missing… Truely sorry. I will reply all one by one…

Dear All,


Sorry to MIA again for almost a month…

Too much stress and lead me sink into depression (done a test and it confirm my depression)… I dunno where to seek for help… thot of calling counselling hotlines. but i dunno what to talk and how to talk… I am shrinking myself into a corner… i have no mood for everything… i do not wish to plan anymore things. i just feel tired… very tired… tired of everything. the only place i thot of is coming back here to talk…

i have no mood to work… no mood to even eat. i feel no life in myself…

i will still have happy moments now. but 80% i am not happy. i dunno what should i do. what could i do. i just feel useless and loss…

no mood. nothing. empty. tired.