Please read n help me if u can, urgent advise needed...
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Hi MMM,
Actually its has been long time that I didnt update my situation with my Mum too…
I have better relationship with her now. A good news at least for all who is concern about me. I have try to put myself in her shoes too. I feel she has also given me unconditionate love during this few years, though there is naggings. its just that i am venting my frustration on her and she is so innocent to tolerate my nonsense.
She had at least taken care of my child for free during this 3years, buy things out of her own pocket knowing that I do not have much cash. I really feel so miserable what a child am I to dis-grade my own mother in this forum. Complaining so much about how she dislike me and do not wish me to shift back to her place. I feel shame of myself. very very shameful. a disgrace daughter.
I have shower her with more love now. understand her too. and relations are getting better. she told me, she is not, not willing to let me shift back. only worried two families staying together will have quarrel. I do not know how its gonna be. But even i really got to rent house or whatever. I promise to myself I will not blame any single thing on my mum anymore.
She is the most loving person that i ever love. she is the one who gave birth to me, carry me thru out the 10 mths no matter how hard it is. bear the pain and give birth to me. feed me and dote me with her life. just like how am i treating my child. I am a mother myself too, but i just dun understand, why i am a failure as a mother. even as a child of my mother. my tears are dripping non-stop when i type about this. coz i feel shame of myself…
i am very very sad and hurt… who am i to blame a mother… i do not have any reasons to do that! i really feel ashamed! -
urgenthelp:
it is good to know that your relationship with your mother is better now and both you realise you do care for each other, minus all the \"noises\" (in terms of naggings.....etc). You will miss those naggings when she is no more around ...Hi MMM,
Actually its has been long time that I didnt update my situation with my Mum too..
I have better relationship with her now. A good news at least for all who is concern about me. I have try to put myself in her shoes too. I feel she has also given me unconditionate love during this few years, though there is naggings. its just that i am venting my frustration on her and she is so innocent to tolerate my nonsense.
She had at least taken care of my child for free during this 3years, buy things out of her own pocket knowing that I do not have much cash. I really feel so miserable what a child am I to dis-grade my own mother in this forum. Complaining so much about how she dislike me and do not wish me to shift back to her place. I feel shame of myself. very very shameful. a disgrace daughter.
I have shower her with more love now. understand her too. and relations are getting better. she told me, she is not, not willing to let me shift back. only worried two families staying together will have quarrel. I do not know how its gonna be. But even i really got to rent house or whatever. I promise to myself I will not blame any single thing on my mum anymore.
She is the most loving person that i ever love. she is the one who gave birth to me, carry me thru out the 10 mths no matter how hard it is. bear the pain and give birth to me. feed me and dote me with her life. just like how am i treating my child. I am a mother myself too, but i just dun understand, why i am a failure as a mother. even as a child of my mother. my tears are dripping non-stop when i type about this. coz i feel shame of myself...
i am very very sad and hurt... who am i to blame a mother.... i do not have any reasons to do that! i really feel ashamed!
and you don't need to go on blaming yourself for those thoughts you had about your mother last time. Let bygone be bygone and you can see that your mother does not hold grudges. her worries about potential quarrels is real. both side just need to learn to cope and adjust.
you should let go of the past, don't hold on to them in your thoughts. once you let go, you will be happier. Imagine, if you don't let go of the rotten apple in your hand, it will continue to stink and you have no hand to receive new things - new hope. Live for the present. Let the past be past. Tomorrow will be better - is yours to make it. Every new day is a day of new hope. You are getting there ! -
No worries… There is nothing to be ashamed about.
Even if it’s the case, given our asian conservative society and family values, it reflects more badly on your DH. More so if he is not bearing more of the burden of the debt. Or that he had to move to your family house rather than being able to support his family and his family side…
DH always encourage me this: The best gift to our parents is to treasure your parent’s ultimate gift to you, your life. Our parents do not really expect anything in return, other than able to see you to fully live your own life well and happy…
Repeat: there is nothing to be ashamed of. So do keep your spirits up, get your finance in order, the light at the end of the tunnel is closer than you think. -
I ever read an recent article: It mentioned about a hunter who is relating his life experience to an audience.
He was trying to hunt down a man-eating tiger, which terrorize a village. He went about laying a trap for the tiger then climb up a tree to wait with his rifle. Hours later it get darker, and the hunter was fidgetting with worry.
He decided to climb down and check his trap. After checking and to his horror, he turn around to face the tiger. Stunned with realisation that he had left his rifle up the tree, he look around desperately for a tree to climb and there was none. Even if there are, the tree seems so small, short, and could not support his weight. As the tiger sprinted toward him, he spun around, run and climb a tree in the nick of time.
At this moment, an audience called his bluff as the hunter had said that there was no tree to climb. To which he replied: "There is definitely a tree. In my desperation, every tree I saw wasn’t practical to save my life. But the seconds I decide to just take action to climb, behold there is a big tree right in front!!"
Believe this article is saying that in a person darkest hour, everything seems impossible. But by being positive and proactive to improve your lot and life, the help is always around in abundent…
Quite true when I forced myself to admit I need help with my depression, and suddenly things seems to just get better and better, and I did not even initiate anything on my part… -
It has been a while since your first post. From then till now, have you been able to reduce your debts? Or has it snowballed? If the debts are decreasing, you must be doing the right things and you should keep it up and be patience. So what if you have to take 3 years to clear all your debts? Just make sure history does not repeat itself once you clear your debts. If you debts are increasing, it does not augur well and you better take some concrete actions fast.
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