In-law problems?

[annamom]

Hi Funz, thanks for the advise. I have tried to analyse MIL's behaviour and knew that it stems from her insecurity and loneliness. If making me small makes her feel good about herself, I let her do it. I do not even talk back. I don't fight because like you say, I only see her once a week.


My sister told me she has never seen such MIL and DIL rivalry ever. The jealousy, the lies, the unhappiness nearly drove me :siao: when I had my DS3. That was in the past but the bad aftertaste lingers on till now.

I will try to forget but it will take awhile ........probably when I get dementia. :oops:

[Chenonceau]

Hi Annamom, you’ve been badly hurt. It’ll be hard to forget. For me, it came a point when I was just out to win… It helps you look past the hurt to look at objective wins. There were a few things I wanted

(1) Control of my kids
(2) Control of my house
(3) Control of my money
(4) Respect of my husband

Once you have amassed all this bit by bit, she’ll have a harder time trying to get at you. Be strong and be encouraged.

[Dino mummy]

I stayed w my MIL…when i first stayed w her aft, I was v disturbed over her. I can’t stand the ways she live her life and her comments…Like "why need to switch on the Heater, the water is alri hot engf"…"this is ur SIL house, she can come back as and when she likes"…Halo, the house is mine and I pay for it, can’t understand she claims the house is my SIL. So, my SIL and family came to my place all weekends, switched on the air con, sleep and eat etc…And also coming in during weekdays doing the same. I overcome the unhappiness since I know I cant do much as she is my hubby’s mother. It wld put him in a difficult position.

These days, I don talk to her and she doesnt too unless neccessary. At times, i noe she said something bad abt me indirectly, tinking i dun understand cos she speaks teochew and I cant understd teochew. I juz ignore and keep quiet.
I have to "thank" her for training me to be patient. Now, I am a very patient lady, can tahan pple unkind comments.

[racoon12]

My MIL claimed to my children that her house is my SIL’s so in a way she dun have house. It is a way to brainwash the kids that she is so pity now, if she dun live with us, she have nowhere to go… I told my kids ‘look ur granny got 4 kids. if she dun live with us. she can choose to go to others house. Dont worry, your granny will definitely have roof over her top.’

[racoon12]

Janet,

Hi - 5... my MIL can definitely overthrown Ch 8's Queen for her tears able to dust off the wrongdoing that she done

[auntieM]

Hi racoon12,

Quite a few MILs mentioned in this thread are Oscar winning actresses… …
Just have to stay sane handling them… …

[silverhorse]

janet_lee88:

racoon12:

Funz,

My MIL is someone who is being bullied by her own MIL (this is what she claimed) but i dun understand why she need to become so evil to her two DIL. Disharmonised in the family is what she is causing and she is throwing the blame to DIL. What i realised is she is only good at wayang, for she is TEOCHEW (sorry, nt blaming ppl at the said race)...

So your MIL is now taking revenge, now that she is a MIL herself.
Oh yes, mine here is very good at sowing disharmony too. Wonder what she gets if her sons divorce. And YES, when she wayangs, really can die...all her crocodile tears. Sure can get BEST supporting actress award.

Janet,

Your MIL sounds like mine -- wayangs alot, and when i discipline my kids, she'll meddle and pretends to be breathless, or fainting... and then my kids will feel guilty... my MIL can try getting a best actress role too.

[Angelight]

My MIL is also another ‘great’ actress. She will pretend to be nice and concerned to me in front of relatives or our mutual church friends, but when it’s just me and her, she just ignores me and treats me as transparent.


She even gets jealous when my FIL ferries me and my DD around for grocery etc. Once she kicked up a big fuss when FIL brought DD to IKEA (I went along too) becos he had promised her. I really could not understand why she has to be so jealous over such a small thing. My FIL asked her along but she didn’t want to, then got angry and sent nasty SMSes to me and my DH. Oh by the way, she is also a ‘SMS Queen’, likes to send nasty smses to me and DH, makes me feel like changing my phone no.

Sigh, dont know when I can remove this ‘mountain’ from my life…

[janet88]

Angelight:

My MIL is also another 'great' actress. She will pretend to be nice and concerned to me in front of relatives or our mutual church friends, but when it's just me and her, she just ignores me and treats me as transparent.

When it's just she and I in the kitchen, her horns will appear and irritating stuff will come out from her mouth. However, when hubby walks into the kitchen, she becomes an 'angel'...behaves like so innocent and harmless. :slapshead:

[Chenonceau]

janet_lee88:

Angelight:

My MIL is also another 'great' actress. She will pretend to be nice and concerned to me in front of relatives or our mutual church friends, but when it's just me and her, she just ignores me and treats me as transparent.

When it's just she and I in the kitchen, her horns will appear and irritating stuff will come out from her mouth. However, when hubby walks into the kitchen, she becomes an 'angel'...behaves like so innocent and harmless. :slapshead:

Have you tried digital recorders? Kekekekekekekeke!

If you are collecting evidence, you might as well do it properly. Collect over 12 months and then surprise her... Kekekekekekeke! :evil: