Club SAHM

[nerov]

Hi mummies,


Been following this thread closely. I have 2 kids, 4 and 2 years old. Increasingly tempted to be a SAHM too, especially reading all the wonderful posts here. But two issues are bugging me :

1) Not sure if we can manage on a single income
2) My mum might flip (I mean, she will most certainly flip)

Really confused about the way forward hope you ladies will give me some inspiration!

[janet88]

nerov:

Hi mummies,


Been following this thread closely. I have 2 kids, 4 and 2 years old. Increasingly tempted to be a SAHM too, especially reading all the wonderful posts here. But two issues are bugging me :

1) Not sure if we can manage on a single income
2) My mum might flip (I mean, she will most certainly flip)

Really confused about the way forward hope you ladies will give me some inspiration!

It's not an easy decision to quit and be a full time mother. First criteria is strong family support from hubby and in some cases parents. If you have been contributing to your parents and decide to quit, they may not be able to handle the lack of pocket money. What about your personal expenses like insurance ? Is hubby willing to take over ? These are the issues you would have to discuss with him.

[kids_r_innocent]

cwc:

Actually sometimes I think SAHM has the stigma of being a notch lower in status :gloomy:

Dunno am I being over sensitive, but despite all the 'flowery' words from relatives/friends etc, the underlying message seems to always boil down to
- SAHM have much easier life at home (to some extend yes, but it's a sacrifice/trade off we have consciously made). WorkingPeople (WP) gotta work so hard and cannot have good-life at home like us
- SAHMs' contributions is valued at a lot lesser than WP

A lot of times, gotta try to be Ah-Q & ignore the remarks by others....else I'll probably start feeling inferior and negative.

Guess SAHM here, we need to give more moral support to each other. :please:

I think at the end of the day, we as mummies, especially SAHMs juz have to account to our kids n husband on the things we do. Nt to anyone else coz they are and will never be in the loop of our child raising process; at least tats for me!

Learn to love ourself (stand by the decision we make to be a SAHM) n then we will be able to love our own family more. :grphug:

[janet88]

As a SAHM, financially it can be quite tight…but we don’t always need to drink an expensive cup of coffee right ? We can still look presentable even if not wearing branded stuff. There is not much ‘ME’ time as compared to working women but somehow we have to find the opportunity to get out and breathe some fresh air. Learning to love ourselves is the greatest gift of all…this is a line from Whitney Houston’s song.

[kids_r_innocent]

All branded things are materialistic, it will be good if we can have both $$ n be there for our children. However whether how rich or poor we maybe, at the end of the day on the day we close our eyes… It will be the love we have for our family and the person that we have cultivated our kids to be… Alll these will be the fondness memories n achievement for those that we have left behind.

[Funx3]

jedamum:

cwc,
on the few occasions when i mentioned to total strangers that i am a sahm, i get positive remarks. they still feel that on the whole, kids are better left to the care of their own mothers.
only on 1 instance when my bro insensitively complained that my degree is a waste. i told him off by saying that my husband can afford to keep me at home, but can he (the bro) do the same for his wife? :torchme:
after a while, his wife became a sahm.

Wah jedamum ....
U Have Successfully Converted your Bro's Negative Stand to Supportive for sahm!

Or he's subtly Hinting to U tt ....
He Too Can Afford it? :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[jedamum]

Funx3:

jedamum:

cwc,
on the few occasions when i mentioned to total strangers that i am a sahm, i get positive remarks. they still feel that on the whole, kids are better left to the care of their own mothers.
only on 1 instance when my bro insensitively complained that my degree is a waste. i told him off by saying that my husband can afford to keep me at home, but can he (the bro) do the same for his wife? :torchme:
after a while, his wife became a sahm.

Wah jedamum ....
U Have Successfully Converted your Bro's Negative Stand to Supportive for sahm!

Or he's subtly Hinting to U tt ....
He Too Can Afford it? :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

hahaha
i dunno la! but can see his wife not SAHM material :shock: :siam: .
not all mums take well to SAHrole. some make better mums when they go to work.

[LOLMum]

duplicate.

[LOLMum]

cwc:

sleepy:

I know what you mean. Personal encounter with such working mums.

One working mum commented her son still cannot read. So I helpfully share my experience about Kumon. Guess what, she said why so kiasu, stay home to send kids to this class that class. Then she proudly declared that her children never attend any classes. But her dd told me she goes tuition le :rotflmao:

But sometimes, I find it quite amusing.....I have also chatted with a parent of my kid's classmate. Proudly proclaim why so kiasu need tuition, the child dun have tuition also doing well. But later discovered that for the last 2 years, a relative (ex-teacher) has been going to the house to coach the child. Win liao loh.

:love:

all these unnecessary lies remind me of dh's friend who loudly and firmly told me in front of others that it was unnecessary to send kids to popular branded school upon hearing that my dd was in 1. cos he was from a neighbourhood school and doing well now. he was not going to move house or do pv or whatsoever, a neighbourhood school was good enough for his kids.

i looked at his wife and told dh his friend was talking rubbish. few days later, dh told him his friend's kid was actually attending an expensive and branded preschool in the city and they were up north. most recent news was the friend was looking for lobang to get his kid into top schools (thru connection). say one thing and do another and try to make me look bad :roll:

[BeContented]

jedamum:

Funx3:

Wah jedamum ....
U Have Successfully Converted your Bro's Negative Stand to Supportive for sahm!

Or he's subtly Hinting to U tt ....
He Too Can Afford it? :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

hahaha
i dunno la! but can see his wife not SAHM material :shock: :siam: .
not all mums take well to SAHrole. some make better mums when they go to work.

Agree....some can take to SAHrole singlehandedly while some ok ONLY if got maid & parents, so SAHM is a skill too

I know of someone who's quite materialistic and always praising smart, ambitious, high-flyers women....so he see SAHM no up. When I first became SAHM and his wife wanted to take a short break, he warned her not to quit job, sprout comments like SAHM are useless, no ambition, no contribution...stay at home do nothing etc. Nasty right?? :spank:
Fast forward 3 years, now my kids are doing fine while his are getting a little out of hand and not doing well in their academics, so he started getting kancheong. Well, his wife is now taking a short break, for how long dun know, but apparently he didn't push her to find a new job quickly this time round.