Child wants to quit piano
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bzmum22:
thanks for sharing!
My hubby wld have killed this dream long ago 'cos he wld hv calculated the ROI and deem it a non-investment. .
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Personally I think if taking an exam is negative experience for both the parent and child, then the planning must had been really poor. But sometimes this can’t be avoid. When I worked in music school last time, I had to enter students for exams because the parents or the school admin insisted. Some parents want to see results and of course the school want to increase the fees of the students. In the end it was a very draining experience for the students and me. Worse, the parents scolded me for bad planning. But I could not tell them that the school admin forced me to enter them. This is one of the main reasons why I decided to go full private.
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bzmum22:
Ah. I never had an exam model piano when I was learning piano. I probably didn't practise 25mins everyday either, but I can't say I'm a very good pianist either - just that when it comes to exams, I wouldn't want to embarass myself or my teacher. I managed those distinctions for high grades too.
Well, we've been there and done that without a U1 piano and not practising at least 25 mins a day for grade 1
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I'm a mummy with a kid learning piano, not a teacher and definitely not musically trained. My expectation on my kid is that she learns to play and enjoys playing...passing grade 1 exams or not is not that important. We took the exam to just have a taste of what piano exams are like 'cos she is free of the stresses of our formal education now....and I would say it is not a v gd experience 'cos I'm more stressed up than my kid :rotflmao: . So no more exams, at least for next yr. My instructions to the teacher is she will teach her whatever is necessary for the next grade but we will not take the exam.
Double K,
What you need depends on what is your expectation for your kid. If you want your kid to really excel in this, then you will have to take Dreamaurora's suggestions.
But if your expectation is just for your kid to learn to play an instrument and enjoy playing it, then a more moderated approach will probably be the way to go.
Like you, I also struggle with the questions that you have, and also hv the budget constraints. If I've taken D's suggestions, then we wld not have come this far. My hubby wld have killed this dream long ago 'cos he wld hv calculated the ROI and deem it a non-investment. And if I insisted that my kid practise every day for 25 mins regardless whether she is in the mood or not, or if I'm busy/tired from work or not to sit with her for her practice, then I would probably hv high blood pressure today
.
But having said all this, there will come a point in time when I know that my kid will need to hv a proper piano and practise more intensely in order to continue.
Just sharing my experience as a mummy with a kid learning piano, so plse dun bombard me.
I think these days, kids have it better - can rent the exam studio to practise before exam. If you can afford it, can rent it a few times even. In my time (in the mid-70s to mid-80s), this option to rent and practise on the exam piano was not an option. We still managed while practising on our lousy pianos. I only changed my piano when I was working and had the money to buy my own. Oh well, same went for a lot of other things, eg. driving lessons, unlike my friends who had their things/lessons mother-father sponsored.
I must say though that - a proper piano is still better to have and practise on than a digital piano or an electronic keyboard, even if it has weighted or touch-sensitive keys. It's just NOT the same. Oh well, maybe if I practise frequently on a digital piano, I'd get used to the touch, but I personally feel that digital pianos have an unpredictable touch. So it's best to still just have a proper piano. If you can afford it, get an exam model, but if not, a lower-end piano that plays nicely works too! -
phankao:
You know, to be honest, I think exams are very commercialised nowadays. I researched into the exam boards' past syllabuses before and well there is quite a big difference. For grade 5 had to play an easy Beethoven sonata movement (Op 49) and for grade 8 had to play a COMPLETE sonata. Last time Trinity grade 6-8 need to prepare an extra study piece, now only have to prepare 3 short exercises. Ever since the exam boards lower the requirements, it seem like more people are taking exams. Exams are really big business here in Asia.
Ah. I never had an exam model piano when I was learning piano. I probably didn't practise 25mins everyday either, but I can't say I'm a very good pianist either - just that when it comes to exams, I wouldn't want to embarass myself or my teacher. I managed those distinctions for high grades too.bzmum22:
Well, we've been there and done that without a U1 piano and not practising at least 25 mins a day for grade 1 .
I'm a mummy with a kid learning piano, not a teacher and definitely not musically trained. My expectation on my kid is that she learns to play and enjoys playing...passing grade 1 exams or not is not that important. We took the exam to just have a taste of what piano exams are like 'cos she is free of the stresses of our formal education now....and I would say it is not a v gd experience 'cos I'm more stressed up than my kid :rotflmao: . So no more exams, at least for next yr. My instructions to the teacher is she will teach her whatever is necessary for the next grade but we will not take the exam.
Double K,
What you need depends on what is your expectation for your kid. If you want your kid to really excel in this, then you will have to take Dreamaurora's suggestions.
But if your expectation is just for your kid to learn to play an instrument and enjoy playing it, then a more moderated approach will probably be the way to go.
Like you, I also struggle with the questions that you have, and also hv the budget constraints. If I've taken D's suggestions, then we wld not have come this far. My hubby wld have killed this dream long ago 'cos he wld hv calculated the ROI and deem it a non-investment. And if I insisted that my kid practise every day for 25 mins regardless whether she is in the mood or not, or if I'm busy/tired from work or not to sit with her for her practice, then I would probably hv high blood pressure today .
But having said all this, there will come a point in time when I know that my kid will need to hv a proper piano and practise more intensely in order to continue.
Just sharing my experience as a mummy with a kid learning piano, so plse dun bombard me.
I think these days, kids have it better - can rent the exam studio to practise before exam. If you can afford it, can rent it a few times even. In my time (in the mid-70s to mid-80s), this option to rent and practise on the exam piano was not an option. We still managed while practising on our lousy pianos. I only changed my piano when I was working and had the money to buy my own. Oh well, same went for a lot of other things, eg. driving lessons, unlike my friends who had their things/lessons mother-father sponsored.
I must say though that - a proper piano is still better to have and practise on than a digital piano or an electronic keyboard, even if it has weighted or touch-sensitive keys. It's just NOT the same. Oh well, maybe if I practise frequently on a digital piano, I'd get used to the touch, but I personally feel that digital pianos have an unpredictable touch. So it's best to still just have a proper piano. If you can afford it, get an exam model, but if not, a lower-end piano that plays nicely works too! -
Dreamauroa, no doubt you are a dedicated and passionate piano teacher, and you have achieved very impressive results that many teachers can only dream of. But I think you have to understand that not everyone can share the same level of commitment that you have. You may be fortunate to have students who share your belief and expectations, but I think most will be glad to take their own time and be happy making music on some cheap pianos.
I think like what bzmum22 said, teachers like Dreamaurora can do wonders if parents and children are willing to commit and make the extra effort. But if this is not the case, a more relaxed and lesser caliber teacher will perhaps be more suitable. -
DD has been learning piano since 7 years old. She is 15 this year and is doing Grade 6 (consider as slow as some already doing G8 in secondary school). She has been telling me that she has no interest in piano and wants to quit. My husband and I are against it cos we find that its a waste to quit halfway. She could also use it to earn a livelihood in the future or if she has a family next time, she can be a part time piano teacher so that she is able to spend time with her children while teaching at home (something that I am unable to do as I did not have the chance to learn piano when I was young). We feel that at this stage, she still does not know what is good for her. However, we can sense that she dreads going for piano classes, she says that its so boring. Its also very difficult to get her to practice, she would give excuses or will just skim through just to satisfy us. We have tried talking to her numerous times telling her the benefits of learning piano, somtimes she would just shrug it off with an unwilling attitude, other time, she would get into a "debate" with us on why learning piano is of no use to her. Sometimes, we are tempted to let her quit, it could save us a few hundred dollars too. However, most of the time, we find that one should not give up half way. At the same time, we are also afraid that if we allow her to quit halfway, it would also influence her brother into quitting piano too. We are quite lost and wonder if any other parents have similar experience and how did you handle it?
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also-mummy:
DD has been learning piano since 7 years old. She is 15 this year and is doing Grade 6 (consider as slow as some already doing G8 in secondary school). She has been telling me that she has no interest in piano and wants to quit. My husband and I are against it cos we find that its a waste to quit halfway. She could also use it to earn a livelihood in the future or if she has a family next time, she can be a part time piano teacher so that she is able to spend time with her children while teaching at home (something that I am unable to do as I did not have the chance to learn piano when I was young). We feel that at this stage, she still does not know what is good for her. However, we can sense that she dreads going for piano classes, she says that its so boring. Its also very difficult to get her to practice, she would give excuses or will just skim through just to satisfy us. We have tried talking to her numerous times telling her the benefits of learning piano, somtimes she would just shrug it off with an unwilling attitude, other time, she would get into a \"debate\" with us on why learning piano is of no use to her. Sometimes, we are tempted to let her quit, it could save us a few hundred dollars too. However, most of the time, we find that one should not give up half way. At the same time, we are also afraid that if we allow her to quit halfway, it would also influence her brother into quitting piano too. We are quite lost and wonder if any other parents have similar experience and how did you handle it?
First of all, why do you call it 'half-way'? Is grade 8 or diploma 'all the way'? She already has a decent music foundation on which to build if she ever wants to continue one day. At 15yo, she is old enough to know her own mind, or at least old enough to realise that she has to bear the consequences of her decision if she regrets later. As for using it to earn money later on, how good is she? If she isn't really talented or interested, then getting a grade 8 cert won't help her teach music. I have a grade 8 in theory and piano, but play so badly and don't have enough interest that I would never teach. I have other skills which I can use to earn a living, and I'm sure your daughter will have other skills too. Could it be that you are trying to live your missed chance to learn music through your daughter? I have had my fill of my father doing that to me, and from the child's point of view, it's a burden to do things just because your parents didn't have the chance to do them. As for experience, I did soldier on to grade 8, but my brother only made it grade 2 - he was so disinterested that both he and the teacher were so relieved when my parents finally gave in and let him stop. I was a little more interested and more obedient. I would vote for letting your daughter decide for herself. -
also-mummy:
DD has been learning piano since 7 years old. She is 15 this year and is doing Grade 6 (consider as slow as some already doing G8 in secondary school). She has been telling me that she has no interest in piano and wants to quit. My husband and I are against it cos we find that its a waste to quit halfway. She could also use it to earn a livelihood in the future or if she has a family next time, she can be a part time piano teacher so that she is able to spend time with her children while teaching at home (something that I am unable to do as I did not have the chance to learn piano when I was young). We feel that at this stage, she still does not know what is good for her. However, we can sense that she dreads going for piano classes, she says that its so boring. Its also very difficult to get her to practice, she would give excuses or will just skim through just to satisfy us. We have tried talking to her numerous times telling her the benefits of learning piano, somtimes she would just shrug it off with an unwilling attitude, other time, she would get into a \"debate\" with us on why learning piano is of no use to her. Sometimes, we are tempted to let her quit, it could save us a few hundred dollars too. However, most of the time, we find that one should not give up half way. At the same time, we are also afraid that if we allow her to quit halfway, it would also influence her brother into quitting piano too. We are quite lost and wonder if any other parents have similar experience and how did you handle it?
As a parent, I can perfectly understand where you are coming from. But if we see the effort that we put into our children's education as an investment into their future, we are setting ourselves up for major disappointments should the future not pan out as we had planned or hope for. Listen to your child. She is at a point whereby it is ok to stop and she can pick it up again it the future when she finally find a reason herself to complete the grade.
It is much more efficient to teach the willing, than to bore the unwilling. She will probably do much better should she decide to continue in future on her own accord. -
also-mummy:
DD has been learning piano since 7 years old. She is 15 this year and is doing Grade 6 (consider as slow as some already doing G8 in secondary school). She has been telling me that she has no interest in piano and wants to quit. My husband and I are against it cos we find that its a waste to quit halfway. She could also use it to earn a livelihood in the future or if she has a family next time, she can be a part time piano teacher so that she is able to spend time with her children while teaching at home (something that I am unable to do as I did not have the chance to learn piano when I was young). We feel that at this stage, she still does not know what is good for her. However, we can sense that she dreads going for piano classes, she says that its so boring. Its also very difficult to get her to practice, she would give excuses or will just skim through just to satisfy us. We have tried talking to her numerous times telling her the benefits of learning piano, somtimes she would just shrug it off with an unwilling attitude, other time, she would get into a \"debate\" with us on why learning piano is of no use to her. Sometimes, we are tempted to let her quit, it could save us a few hundred dollars too. However, most of the time, we find that one should not give up half way. At the same time, we are also afraid that if we allow her to quit halfway, it would also influence her brother into quitting piano too. We are quite lost and wonder if any other parents have similar experience and how did you handle it?
I am not a parent
, but I have been through this before. My parents have signed me up for piano since I was 5-6 years old (!!!) and only now (I am in Primary 5) am I in Grade 3! :yikes:
My mother also signed my younger brothers up, and just a few days ago my brother wanted to quit, but my mother used her Amazing Powers Of Persuasion to persuade him to not quit, though he is still very...upset over the need to play the piano. (Actually, my parents felt the temptation too, as they were spending a lot of money on this, only to have us waste it, but they felt that it would be a waste to quit halfway)
I am also like that, though I actually like playing the piano, but to my OWN WISHES, and not like, 'okay you tell me to practice, I immediately will' kind of type. I am the 'procrastinate, then quickly hurry revise and do' type. :offtopic: <--a bit, you have to admit...
I think the best solution, is to try to sympathise with her, then play 'guilty cards', as that was what my mother did with my brother. And he finally relented...
Hope this helps! (And please don't mind my horrible spelling...I am absolutely horrible at spelling) -
I was one of those parents who wished her kid would learn playing piano because I never got a chance to do so when young.
Even though I knew my elder kid exhibit more interest in art than music or dance, I signed her up for ballet and piano and kept her away from drawing and painting.
I didn’t need her to be very accomplished. I just wanted her to grow up knowing how to play piano and appreciate music and dance in ways I would never know.
But she has never got excited at the idea of playing the piano or going for its lessons. I was short of dragging her to the piano for practices. It was stressful and unhappy for both of us.
She was often chastised during ballet lessons as she never did her footwork at home, to the point of being sneered at by her ballet classmates.
She asked me to allow her to drop both, one at a time.
I had some of the considerations you have. Plus it was an expensive affair to have spent $8.6k on a piano just for grade one.
My main consideration was: would my allowing her to drop the piano lessons be viewed as the permission to drop tasks that are challenging.
But as a child, I wouldn’t be happy if I am forced to do things I don’t delight in.
So I let her.
Your daughter has completed grade 6. It’s at a stage where she can pick up from where she has left off if she so desires in future. And she’s a teenager. Kids at this age already know what they want or don’t want. I feel that it’s quite safe to listen to her.
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