In-law problems?

[LOLMum]

haha, you only have 1 mil, so natural path of thought would be dialect group, so for me, wasnt a big deal. :imcool:

[Angelight]

Actually every dialect group will have difficult MILs. Mine is Cantonese. She is not wayang type, but the ‘still waters run deep’ type. When she is angry, she will not show it openly but quietly backstabs from behind. That is even more scary than the wayang type.

[coolit]

Yes mine is also cantonese, she does not wayang at all. She just uses words to hurt and it is so subtle that most of the time, you feel that she is jabbing you but if you complain, it seems you are unreasonable.

[Funz]

Chenonceau:

sall:

I don't think it's fair to say that Teochew mils are wayang and overbearing. It depends on the personality of the mil, NOT the DIALECT GROUP.

No lah... Funz was poking fun at herself only. :rotflmao:

Right Funz?

Yup, yup. Just hvg some fun at my own expense. No offense to anyone.

Think all of us are not that prejudiced. Just that there is always that age old stigma attached to each dialect grp and inevitably, that will be discussed as we try to find make up some excuse for why certain mil act a certain way.

[ectanz]

Angelight:

Actually every dialect group will have difficult MILs. Mine is Cantonese. She is not wayang type, but the 'still waters run deep' type. When she is angry, she will not show it openly but quietly backstabs from behind. That is even more scary than the wayang type.

Same here. My MIL is also Cantonese. She likes to talk something bad about me behind my back or used Cantonese to say something about me. She tot tat I dont understand but too bad, I was a fan of tvbs drama (hk) previously and learned Cantonese from tat time.

I wont retort my MIL whatever she said anything nasty(indirectly) to me unless it is too unbearable. I will endure it until I reached home. Poor hb is my 出气筒 . Fortunately we have reduced the no of time going to her house for dinner since she is no longer care for dd1. The conflict between us will become lesser I hope.

[Rockdiva]

I always thought that I was just being unlucky to have a rude,meddlesome, and unfriendly mil. It was only when I chanced upon this thread, seems like all mil share the same character ! Why can’t women be nice to women of another generation?

[Dino mummy]

agree with Rockdiva. Why cant they treat DIL as their daughters. I tried to treat my MIL like she is my mum, remembering what she likes to eat and buying stuff she likes etc…Now, I gave up. I will still get her stuffs she need but I won’t go all the way to buy.

Btw, I have 2 MILs. Luckily, I dun stay with 2s cos my MIL is the "younger" wife of the FIL who had passed on yrs ago. I heard my 1st MIL oso not an easy person to handle. Phew, if i need to stay w 2, i tink i will go crazy

[janet88]

Flowermonaster:

Why some MIL so mean? Could it be they got nothing better to do? Like no hobby, so making things difficult for DIL and want to be involved in everything becomes her hobby? if ILs got own programs, will they still find time to be so concern about their DIL? Just wondering..... :?

Basically some have a mean character...also boils down to 吃饱很空 and then find trouble. Not related to little education either bcos her twin sister who is not well-educated but has a much much nicer personality.
I ever asked my hubby how come his aunt has a nicer character than his mother.

[ectanz]

janet_lee88:

Flowermonaster:

Why some MIL so mean? Could it be they got nothing better to do? Like no hobby, so making things difficult for DIL and want to be involved in everything becomes her hobby? if ILs got own programs, will they still find time to be so concern about their DIL? Just wondering..... :?

Basically some have a mean character...also boils down to 吃饱很空 and then find trouble. Not related to little education either bcos her twin sister who is not well-educated but has a much much nicer personality.
I ever asked my hubby how come his aunt has a nicer character than his mother.

I believe some MILs feel being intimidated by their DILs. They afraid that their precious sons will eventually be snatched by their DILs. My MIL could be one of them. The moment my MIL knew that we have applied house that was far from her, she immediately :mad: and accused that this was my idea to isolate her from her son. My hb was upset by her mum's false accusation and had a heated argument with her mum.

[janet88]

Rockdiva:

I always thought that I was just being unlucky to have a rude,meddlesome, and unfriendly mil. It was only when I chanced upon this thread, seems like all mil share the same character ! Why can't women be nice to women of another generation?

Firstly, the women are from 2 generations...so they are generations apart. :rotflmao: Secondly, they are no longer in charge. That's why they are meddlesome. As for the rude and unfriendly part, maybe these women are basically built that way. I've long given up the idea of being nice to her...I will not allow her to spoil my day, my mood and relationship with hubby.