In-law problems?

[ectanz]

Angelight:

Actually every dialect group will have difficult MILs. Mine is Cantonese. She is not wayang type, but the 'still waters run deep' type. When she is angry, she will not show it openly but quietly backstabs from behind. That is even more scary than the wayang type.

Same here. My MIL is also Cantonese. She likes to talk something bad about me behind my back or used Cantonese to say something about me. She tot tat I dont understand but too bad, I was a fan of tvbs drama (hk) previously and learned Cantonese from tat time.

I wont retort my MIL whatever she said anything nasty(indirectly) to me unless it is too unbearable. I will endure it until I reached home. Poor hb is my 出气筒 . Fortunately we have reduced the no of time going to her house for dinner since she is no longer care for dd1. The conflict between us will become lesser I hope.

[Rockdiva]

I always thought that I was just being unlucky to have a rude,meddlesome, and unfriendly mil. It was only when I chanced upon this thread, seems like all mil share the same character ! Why can’t women be nice to women of another generation?

[Dino mummy]

agree with Rockdiva. Why cant they treat DIL as their daughters. I tried to treat my MIL like she is my mum, remembering what she likes to eat and buying stuff she likes etc…Now, I gave up. I will still get her stuffs she need but I won’t go all the way to buy.

Btw, I have 2 MILs. Luckily, I dun stay with 2s cos my MIL is the "younger" wife of the FIL who had passed on yrs ago. I heard my 1st MIL oso not an easy person to handle. Phew, if i need to stay w 2, i tink i will go crazy

[janet88]

Flowermonaster:

Why some MIL so mean? Could it be they got nothing better to do? Like no hobby, so making things difficult for DIL and want to be involved in everything becomes her hobby? if ILs got own programs, will they still find time to be so concern about their DIL? Just wondering..... :?

Basically some have a mean character...also boils down to 吃饱很空 and then find trouble. Not related to little education either bcos her twin sister who is not well-educated but has a much much nicer personality.
I ever asked my hubby how come his aunt has a nicer character than his mother.

[ectanz]

janet_lee88:

Flowermonaster:

Why some MIL so mean? Could it be they got nothing better to do? Like no hobby, so making things difficult for DIL and want to be involved in everything becomes her hobby? if ILs got own programs, will they still find time to be so concern about their DIL? Just wondering..... :?

Basically some have a mean character...also boils down to 吃饱很空 and then find trouble. Not related to little education either bcos her twin sister who is not well-educated but has a much much nicer personality.
I ever asked my hubby how come his aunt has a nicer character than his mother.

I believe some MILs feel being intimidated by their DILs. They afraid that their precious sons will eventually be snatched by their DILs. My MIL could be one of them. The moment my MIL knew that we have applied house that was far from her, she immediately :mad: and accused that this was my idea to isolate her from her son. My hb was upset by her mum's false accusation and had a heated argument with her mum.

[janet88]

Rockdiva:

I always thought that I was just being unlucky to have a rude,meddlesome, and unfriendly mil. It was only when I chanced upon this thread, seems like all mil share the same character ! Why can't women be nice to women of another generation?

Firstly, the women are from 2 generations...so they are generations apart. :rotflmao: Secondly, they are no longer in charge. That's why they are meddlesome. As for the rude and unfriendly part, maybe these women are basically built that way. I've long given up the idea of being nice to her...I will not allow her to spoil my day, my mood and relationship with hubby.

[Chenonceau]

I actually know an old lady who really believes that in order to maintain her dignity and self-respect as a mother-in-law, she had to be aloof, critical and in control. She told me so herself.


:? :? :?

Not my own MIL... but I do pity her DIL On the other hand, I know another old lady whose DIL actually slapped her black and blue. She dared not report to the police because her son is someone important. In the end, her son had to rent a small HDB flat for his mother to stay in.

[Strparent]

Chenonceau:

On the other hand, I know another old lady whose DIL actually slapped her black and blue. She dared not report to the police because her son is someone important. In the end, her son had to rent a small HDB flat for his mother to stay in.

Hi Chenonceau,

pardon my intrusion into this highly-sensitive thread, but I am disturbed by the above situation and would like to speak my mind.

No matter how the MIL was like, being beaten by DIL is way over crossing the line. Any normal son would not condone this act, on either party. Wouldn't you ladies out there want your son to defend you in similar situation ?

This guy :razz: , the so-called important person, is a bloody useless ingrate of a son. :mad:
He forgets the years of motherly love the elder lady has devoted onto him since birth ( and the 9 months before ).

http://i55.tinypic.com/1zoas07.gif\"> :torchme:

[Rockdiva]

The time that I will always remember the terrible side of my mil is that the day when she sat next to my dd and told me right into my face : " wo Yao gen ni dou!" As for the next occasion , which I remembered vividly was that she was already very unhappy w me, hence tried to avoid her by playing w my dd most of the time, suddenly she banged the cupboard door in the kitchen and stormed into the room to kneel and kowtow in front of me! Told me to forgive her! I hv done nothing except din talk much to her cos I knew she was fuming b4 I went to her house… What hv i done to deserve the kneeling part?

So dramatically crazy!

[laughingcat]

Rockdiva:

The time that I will always remember the terrible side of my mil is that the day when she sat next to my dd and told me right into my face : \" wo Yao gen ni dou!\" As for the next occasion , which I remembered vividly was that she was already very unhappy w me, hence tried to avoid her by playing w my dd most of the time, suddenly she banged the cupboard door in the kitchen and stormed into the room to kneel and kowtow in front of me! Told me to forgive her! I hv done nothing except din talk much to her cos I knew she was fuming b4 I went to her house... What hv i done to deserve the kneeling part?

So dramatically crazy!

OMG! Did you tell your DH about this? To me....i think you should and expressed that you were shocked and didn't do anything to trigger such drama. Otherwise your MIL will tell you DH a different story and in the end might make you look like a \"bully\".