Club Only Child Club
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Its really hard to avoid everyone. Take church for eg, I seem to be the only one that has one child. I think nearly everyone has 3 kids or more.
And then there are the neighbours downstairs…
And then there are colleagues all around me getting pregnant. Not that I am sour grapes but when ppl start congragulating them, I get very down. Its diffcult not to get affected.
The difficult part will be when the pregnant ones go on about buying baby things or their prenatal classes. -
kaitlynangelica:
Hi kaitlynangelica, don't be too sad. I :snuggles: you.Its really hard to avoid everyone. Take church for eg, I seem to be the only one that has one child. I think nearly everyone has 3 kids or more.
And then there are the neighbours downstairs..............
And then there are colleagues all around me getting pregnant. Not that I am sour grapes but when ppl start congragulating them, I get very down. Its diffcult not to get affected.
The difficult part will be when the pregnant ones go on about buying baby things or their prenatal classes.
Actually, on a brighter side, having one child can be envious by a lot of people. My eldest sister alway tell me that I am lucky to have only one kid. At least there is no fighting & quarreling between the siblings unlike hers. She said if given a choice now, she will want only one child. I kind of pity her when she was so stressed up by her kids. Her kids also unhappy that the furthest they go for vacation is Malaysia as they can't afford to go else where. With only one child, I can afford to give him the best that we can afford. My DS is happy & has never ask me for any sibling.
I used to want 2 kids but now I am contented to have only my DS. I am already 42, can't afford to try another Liao. -
I try to 'siam' on other family occasions, but Christmas and CNY how to 'siam'? Plus my MIL is so bias against me (see my other threads under 'In-law problems'), she will not let me off if I don't turn up for christmas and CNY events. Just the thought of this makes me depressed...
kaitlynangelica:
Is it possible to tell your husband that you don't want to meet your BIL and ther family?
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Flowermonaster:
Thanks dear.............actually its true.Just paying for my gal's tuition is killing me! I spend about $500 a month. Of late, she hasn't been doing well in school either and I have spent a lot of time trying to coach her. Frankly, am not too sure if I could stretch myself further if another came along.
Hi kaitlynangelica, don't be too sad. I :snuggles: you.kaitlynangelica:
Its really hard to avoid everyone. Take church for eg, I seem to be the only one that has one child. I think nearly everyone has 3 kids or more.
And then there are the neighbours downstairs..............
And then there are colleagues all around me getting pregnant. Not that I am sour grapes but when ppl start congragulating them, I get very down. Its diffcult not to get affected.
The difficult part will be when the pregnant ones go on about buying baby things or their prenatal classes.
Actually, on a brighter side, having one child can be envious by a lot of people. My eldest sister alway tell me that I am lucky to have only one kid. At least there is no fighting & quarreling between the siblings unlike hers. She said if given a choice now, she will want only one child. I kind of pity her when she was so stressed up by her kids. Her kids also unhappy that the furthest they go for vacation is Malaysia as they can't afford to go else where. With only one child, I can afford to give him the best that we can afford. My DS is happy & has never ask me for any sibling.
I used to want 2 kids but now I am contented to have only my DS. I am already 42, can't afford to try another Liao.
I pity your sister. Didn't all these considerations come along in her mind when she conceived her second child? -
kaitlynangelica:
At that time, my sis was still working & her DH's small family biz was still ok. So when she gave birth to her DS she decided to be SAHM as she also has problem with her DD.(another long story btw her & her DD). So instead of paying nannies/CC to take care of her 2 kids, she decided to save money & take care herself thinking that she can bond with her DD & DS. Unfortunately at later stage, her DH's biz was not so good & they have to cut down on a lot of expenses. Her kids are now in Poly & Sec 2 and she has also returned to work force 1.5years ago.
Thanks dear.............actually its true.Just paying for my gal's tuition is killing me! I spend about $500 a month. Of late, she hasn't been doing well in school either and I have spent a lot of time trying to coach her. Frankly, am not too sure if I could stretch myself further if another came along.
I pity your sister. Didn't all these considerations come along in her mind when she conceived her second child?
Yes, fully agreed. Nowadays, the cost of raising a child from birth to Uni is really high. With increasing standard of living & inflation rate higher than our saving interest rate in the bank, not to mention poor increment rate - even with one child is a strain to some.
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Flowermonaster:
Even amongst the Malays, a lot are stopping at 2.
At that time, my sis was still working & her DH's small family biz was still ok. So when she gave birth to her DS she decided to be SAHM as she also has problem with her DD.(another long story btw her & her DD). So instead of paying nannies/CC to take care of her 2 kids, she decided to save money & take care herself thinking that she can bond with her DD & DS. Unfortunately at later stage, her DH's biz was not so good & they have to cut down on a lot of expenses. Her kids are now in Poly & Sec 2 and she has also returned to work force 1.5years ago.kaitlynangelica:
Thanks dear.............actually its true.Just paying for my gal's tuition is killing me! I spend about $500 a month. Of late, she hasn't been doing well in school either and I have spent a lot of time trying to coach her. Frankly, am not too sure if I could stretch myself further if another came along.
I pity your sister. Didn't all these considerations come along in her mind when she conceived her second child?
Yes, fully agreed. Nowadays, the cost of raising a child from birth to Uni is really high. With increasing standard of living & inflation rate higher than our saving interest rate in the bank, not to mention poor increment rate - even with one child is a strain to some.
And after sending the kids off to uni, whats left for us? -
kaitlynangelica:
Even amongst the Malays, a lot are stopping at 2.
At that time, my sis was still working & her DH's small family biz was still ok. So when she gave birth to her DS she decided to be SAHM as she also has problem with her DD.(another long story btw her & her DD). So instead of paying nannies/CC to take care of her 2 kids, she decided to save money & take care herself thinking that she can bond with her DD & DS. Unfortunately at later stage, her DH's biz was not so good & they have to cut down on a lot of expenses. Her kids are now in Poly & Sec 2 and she has also returned to work force 1.5years ago.Flowermonaster:
[quote=\"kaitlynangelica\"]
Thanks dear.............actually its true.Just paying for my gal's tuition is killing me! I spend about $500 a month. Of late, she hasn't been doing well in school either and I have spent a lot of time trying to coach her. Frankly, am not too sure if I could stretch myself further if another came along.
I pity your sister. Didn't all these considerations come along in her mind when she conceived her second child?
Yes, fully agreed. Nowadays, the cost of raising a child from birth to Uni is really high. With increasing standard of living & inflation rate higher than our saving interest rate in the bank, not to mention poor increment rate - even with one child is a strain to some.
And after sending the kids off to uni, whats left for us?[/quote]yeah, it's kind of scary when you think of that. To save cost, I am currently brain washing my DS to study hard so that I don't need to give him tuition. He is currently having English tuition, piano & violin lessons. Starting him on swimming end of this month. No choice, he needs to learn how to swim for Army. All these come up to $800 per month excluding his pocket money & transportation.
If I have more than one kids, I don't think I can nurture my DS the way I am doing now. My resources will need to split among the siblings. -
Angelight,
My SIL also have 3 kids. Now and then asking my MIL to go over to their house on weekdays night to help her out with the kids - P1, K1 and another 3 years old. Luckily for me I hardly see them, only 1 family so far will appear at my in-law’s place. Coz’ when she is around with her 3 kids, I guess my MIL attention will be with her kids. They scared that my son will be jealous and no close to them (MIL) since she didn’t even carry or takecare of him. Last time hubby wants my MIL to takecare of my son, but then my SIL objected for her selfish reasons. I am ok if my MIL does not wants to help us, for if the grandson not close to her, not my problem right? hehe…U know 3 years have past and until now I have never seen my SIL’s youngest child since born! I dun think the kid even know he still got an uncle, auntie and cousin.
kaitlynangelica,
When kid grows up, we have more time to go tak tor with our darling lor. Take a break before they get married and settle down. I think with housing cost so high, our kid and their family most likely to stuck with us. Hence if having a few more kids and resulted in a few families staying under 1 roof bound to have more troubles.
Flowermonaster,
How old is ur kid? My son only attend piano lesson that’s all. Already i am tired to send him for piano lesson on Saturday. -
Just888, my DS is 11 years old. His music teacher comes to our house to teach.
We used to send him to music school but decided to get private teacher late last year as we were tired of the traveling time & we wasted time doing window shopping while my DS attend his lesson. -
Flowermonaster, ya I agree. To get out of the house on weekend just for a 30-45mins piano practice time is kinda of wasteful. The time spend on the journey is more than that. I am also thinking of changing to private next year after his exam to shift to weekdays or what so that weekends got more family time together.
Can I know what’s the private teacher charges u are paying?
But this sch holiday I am thinking of what to do with my son at home afterall he unlike others who got siblings to play with.
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