All About Full-Time Maids

[tamarind]

puzzle:

Do we have other alternatives beside getting a maid ?


Sigh.. we work so hard to prepare for our kids future. Leaving our kids in the hand of maid and full day childcare. Are we doing the right things ?!

Knowing the cons of getting a maid but yet we're in for it !

Many full time working mommies have survived without a maid.

Here is a good thread about how to survive without a maid :
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5331&start=0

It is going to be very tough. You must make sure that your husband helps out a lot. I know some husbands do all the house work, while mommies take care of kids. If your husband is the totally hands off type, then forget it.

Kids should never be left alone with the maid. Raising a kid is not only about feeding and cleaning him. The child is greatly influenced by the character of the caregiver. Can you trust your maid to have a good character ? Can you trust your maid to be able to teach your child the correct moral values ?

I am fortunate that my mother lives with me. She helps to take care of the kids, while the maid does all the other housework. This is the best arrangement.

For mommies who do not have any elderly to help out, then please put your child in an infant/childcare, this is much better than leaving the child alone with the maid whole day.

As mommies, we must be prepared to make sacrifices, one way or another. If we do't want to spend money, then be prepared to work very hard. If we cannot take the hard work, then spend the money to get a maid or get all the necessary tools to help us !

Of course there is always the option of quitting your job and staying at home to look after the kids. Believe me, it is definitely possible to give the kids the best education with very little money. You must be prepared to live without luxuries, unless the husband earns a lot of money. I know many mommies who gave up their job to stay home and look after the kids.

I remember reading an article in a magazine. A Daddy who earned very high pay, quit his job to look after his baby girl. He said : \"If we cannot trust our maid to drive our car, how can we trust our maid to take care of our baby ?\"

[Funguy71]

Charmaine_chong:

Hi Funguy,


To my surprise my maid knows letter sounds very well. She learnt it with my son through Leapfrog letter factory. She taught my son letter sounds.

Yup. I have stopped her teaching my son READING but she will guide my son on counting and recognition of numbers, do maze & spot differences, letter writing, doodle.

I couldn't stop my son picking up bad habit. He will have bad influence when entering nursery next year. In fact he pick up quite a lot from my dad. I tried my best to explain and tell him stop doing that.

For my maid, i just tried to cool myself. After she completing her contract a year later, i will go for maid-free.

This is my fourth maid and the most terrible one. I don't allow my maid to have off day and handphone. I had bad experience with my ex-maids.

Good that your maid learns along while teaching your son. Good job. :celebrate: Shd praise her.

You are right. We can't stop our child from picking up bad habits fr others while we are working. In fact, we may have bad habits too!

But if those bad habits don't really have bad impact on building their healthy characters, I think we can close one eye (while trying our best to correct them).

But, to me, borrowing money and telling lies are serious bad habits which we shd seriously look into the bad influence on our child! The best thing is do not talk/ discuss about your maid's bad habits when your son is around. Or use it to teach important value to your son.

Cheers.

[puzzle]

Hi Charmaine,


Part-time maid only do cleaning rite?

I need a part time maid who can fetch my twins (with my in-law who drive), bath and feed them (at my in-law hse).

Did call up few part time maid agency but they dun provide such services !

[MMM]

My Indo maid just came back from home leave. She just spoke to me asking if she can carry a handphone only at nite as during her recent visit back home, her cousins working in neighbouring countries wanted to keep in touch with her as well.


I told her that I understand that she wants to keep in touch with them and i think that is reasonable however, I cannot agree to her request :
1) If she only uses the phone at nite. Then potentially, she might end up sleeping later and potentially waking up late. So using hp at nite at her own free time is fine but when it becomes excessive, it will indirectly affect her work.

2) I don't want a situation whereby her hp usage is excessive at nite. I don't want us to reach a stage whereby I've to tell her to stop it. I told her I treat her as an adult and not like my kids. I don't want to tell her off and I am sure she will not be happy if I tell her off because of that. I don't want our relationship to end up like that (which potentially will with HP), so by being proactively, I cannot agree to the hp at nite only

3) She said if at most if I think she is skivving, we can deduct her salary. Again, I told her that this is very subjective. I dont' want to spend time tracking/ mtring if she is skivving. Similarly, she won't be happy if I deduct her pay or say her. Either way, we will not be happy. I am not happy that I've to think oh I must \"scold' her for this and that. I rather spend such time coaching my kids.

4) She said that her cousins called our house the other day and my fil wasn't happy. I told her that it's fine to stay in touch. But of course, it cannot be wow x no. of calls a day or spend 30 mins chatting,etc... Once a month and 10 mins or how are you etc... is still acceptable. I suppose we being the receiver only pay local charge? :?

5) Importantly, this was a rule from day 1 that \"no hp\". She know very well that I had so much problem with my previous maid of 5 yrs after she started to have a hp. She would spend 30 mins in toilet each time and very regular trips,etc... I told her we don't want to go through that that's why this was the rule from day 1. I also quoted my sil's maid, whose hp is kept at agent's place. I told her I trust her by letting her keep her own hp. She asked me if I want to keep. So it's like now she is betraying my trust.

Just wanted to share this.... Well, after our conversation, she passed her hp to me for safekeeping. I didn't ask for that.

I told her I wanted to be transparent and frank with her. I dont' want us to reach the stage of both of us being unhappy with each other. There is no point to continue then.

[hquek]

tamarind:

Kids should never be left alone with the maid. Raising a kid is not only about feeding and cleaning him. The child is greatly influenced by the character of the caregiver. Can you trust your maid to have a good character ? Can you trust your maid to be able to teach your child the correct moral values ?


.........

A Daddy who earned very high pay, quit his job to look after his baby girl. He said : \"If we cannot trust our maid to drive our car, how can we trust our maid to take care of our baby ?\"

Hi Tamarind, totally concur with what you said. I'm similarly blessed in that my parents take care of my kids while the maid takes care of the house. It's good if parents engage a good maid who truly likes kids and is careful around them, but this is always subject to luck (unless someone can provide a magic formula to get the right help).

If stuck with only either childcare/maid without possibility of grandparents, I would also opt for the childcare route. At least these are professionals and there are more eyes to look at the safety of my kids (rather than mercy of one person).

[hquek]

Hi mmm,


I view that most maids come here for the money. If that’s so important to them, I don’t see why/how they should be spending so much money getting phone cards just so they can yak on the phone.

My ex-maid went home after 5years with a SG 5 figure sum although her starting salary then was only $250. I can imagine how depleted that would have been were she the type who insisted to have day offs, handphones with non-stop yakking.

(I still cannot understand those maids i see who pickup/drop off kids at school. They come to school talking into the earpiece attached to their ears and leave still talking…must have a lot of urgent things to share)

[baby2momma]

Hi Tamarind,


I have read your blog n understood u do hv great knowledge abt
maids & all....

Just wondering if u wld be able to advise me - my maid's going home
on home leave & will be back a month later....is it right for me to hold her last month's paycheck? Also, I understand tat as employers, we do need
to pay for her air tix home....but what about her air tix back to Sin?
Should the return leg of the costs back to Sin also to be borne by the
employer?

If u cld, pls enlighten me.....thks!!!!

[MMM]

hquek:

Hi mmm,


(I still cannot understand those maids i see who pickup/drop off kids at school. They come to school talking into the earpiece attached to their ears and leave still talking....must have a lot of urgent things to share)

That's why I am very against HP. It's easy to say I only use it at nite. But gradually when we lax, she will probably use it the entire day. I asked her what if she start receiving alot of calls at nite? and she talks till 11 plus, 12 plus? Will she be happy if I ask her to shorten her call time? I told her she won't.

When I was young and used to give tuition, the maid (during the employer's absence) would sit on the sofa and yak all the time when I am there. She behave very different when the employer is at home.... I told my maid, it's just so human nature.

[hquek]

hi mmm,


At least she’s open to reason. that’s positive. But I do concur…my godma’s ex-maid would spend long hours on the phone at night. end up she cannot wake up or is sleepy.

[MMM]

Anyway… I will just keep her phone. Especially given that our entire family will be away on holidays in december. There will be a couple of days that she will be alone at home.