Do you bring yr parents/inlaws for tours/travelling?

[Strparent]

yqyq:

My parent has been travelling with me at least once or twice a year. Usually total expenses will be share among the siblings or at lease me and my sis.

And irregardless who bring, all os us will try to chip in..after all both of them in 60's jor...if now dont travel, in future maybe difficult to walk or enjoy if too old.

yqyq I agree wholeheartedly.

when my father was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, he said he had not visited 3 places - Shanghai, Perth ( he has been to all other major cities in AUS except Perth ) and Las Vegas.
but due to his chemo treatments, it was difficult to plan. My brother managed to bring him and mum to Shanghai after the 1st complete cycle of chemo. After the 2nd cycle, I brought him and mum to Perth. But Las Vegas......super long trip and his condition.... We failed to fulfill that last wish.
Even now, once a while, I think of him and I hated the fact that we had all the time in the world BEFORE, but we did not asked him where he wanted to go. He was always chinchai when we discussed, and usually end up go places where we or the kids liked.
So now, when my mum said she feels like going a place, we will try to plan to go soonest.


Dont leave it too late to regret. I still miss my old man.

MMM:

My 6 years old recently told us that she will bring us for holidays when she is a grown up. She would help us to carry our luggage and pay for the trip as we are old then. I told her that mummy loves to go countries like Europe and US

Sure our our offsprings grow up to be filial kids.

MMM, that is sweet...but you should hope she will also said that when she is 16

and I am a firm believer that kids will take after their parents, so don't worry about the filial part :imanangel:

[yqyq]

Strparent:

yqyq:

My parent has been travelling with me at least once or twice a year. Usually total expenses will be share among the siblings or at least me and my sis.

And irregardless who bring, all of us will try to chip in..after all both of them in 60's jor...if now dont travel, in future maybe difficult to walk or enjoy if too old.

yqyq I agree wholeheartedly.

when my father was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, he said he had not visited 3 places - Shanghai, Perth ( he has been to all other major cities in AUS except Perth ) and Las Vegas.
but due to his chemo treatments, it was difficult to plan. My brother managed to bring him and mum to Shanghai after the 1st complete cycle of chemo. After the 2nd cycle, I brought him and mum to Perth. But Las Vegas......super long trip and his condition.... We failed to fulfill that last wish.
Even now, once a while, I think of him and I hated the fact that we had all the time in the world BEFORE, but we did not asked him where he wanted to go. He was always chinchai when we discussed, and usually end up go places where we or the kids liked.
So now, when my mum said she feels like going a place, we will try to plan to go soonest.


Dont leave it too late to regret. I still miss my old man.


Sad to hear that...take care strparent

[ningning]

Some of us are lucky to have siblings that chip in expenese, no matter what are the size of their chip in. Its the thoughts that counts. But there are some siblings, who just refused to do so, despite they have very very good income. They have taken their parents love and care for granted. And worse, they are not unhappy that the other siblings has taken the initiative to bear all the expenses for the trip , coz they thought other siblings purposely bring parent to holiday to reflect that they are "filial".


sometimes, bring parents to holidays, can also lead to unhappiness among siblings…too

[MMM]

Strparent:

MMM:

My 6 years old recently told us that she will bring us for holidays when she is a grown up. She would help us to carry our luggage and pay for the trip as we are old then. I told her that mummy loves to go countries like Europe and US


Sure our our offsprings grow up to be filial kids.

MMM, that is sweet...but you should hope she will also said that when she is 16

and I am a firm believer that kids will take after their parents, so don't worry about the filial part :imanangel:

strparent : are you the one trying to get a house so that everyone can stay together????

Yes I agree. That's why I said to her.... are you sure you will do that???? She even insist that we should stay with her and not our 2 older kids....

I feel that as parents we need to lead by examples. Then they will start to think that what we are doing is the norm and will not have 2nd thoughts about it.

[MMM]

ningning:

sometimes, bring parents to holidays, can also lead to unhappiness among siblings...............too

I understand where you are coming from but serious it's a fine line.

I have 4 sils. Out of the 4 bils that I've, only 1 will always bring my pils out for dinner and also bring them for overseas hols. The rest don't. I feel that it's not because they are not filial but rather, they have different personalities. This bil who likes to bring my pils out is the traditional thinking type and can communicate with my pils. Another 2 are like me, no disrecpect but talk only when there is something to say. The eldest is sociable and we are quite transparent. He told me that it's good that my this bil brings my pils out but sometimes he think of his behaviour differently.

Eg. during birthday, we will all share presents but this bil in particular will bring an extra hamper for my pils. So that makes him the most loved son in law. Luckily I am the only dil so no need to \"compete\" Such actions sort of put on added stress on the rest especially the eldest so it brings about some \"hidden conflicts\". My eldest bil felt that my this \"favored\" bil is trying to get into my pils' good books and hence those acts. For me, I simply bochap as I feel that no matter what happens, my fil will still favor my hubby (his only son) most. There is no doubt about it.

We wanted to organise a major family hols this year. But only the favored son in law family is joining us. The eldest decided against joining as he dun think he can tahan the acts over 8 days of travel. It's unfortunate as I think it would be fun if they join us too as my pils are already in their 70's. My eldest bil is more fun loving, sociable and joker and he is more straightforward which I appreciate him for that. While the favored bil is serious towkay type....abit boring for my liking and this can be translate into more \"scheming\"???. But both are doing well financially and drive luxury cars so no diff in that sense. But he told me explicitly if they are going, he will think twice about joining.... So much for family politics.

[shopaholic]

Yes, for my inlaws. My mum does not like travelling. When we travel with inlaws, we pay for all expenses, including money to spend.

[sane]

I do try to bring my parents out to tour at least once a year, full expenses by me. My hb or bro wont join…but then it’s alright. I just want to be filial to them.


My philosophy is to treasure the time with our parents, nothing lasts forever…there’s no need to be calculative especially towards our family.

[yqyq]

sane:

I do try to bring my parents out to tour at least once a year, full expenses by me. My hb or bro wont join..but then it's alright. I just want to be filial to them.


My philosophy is to treasure the time with our parents, nothing lasts forever..there's no need to be calculative especially towards our family.

:goodpost: Agreed with you :hi5:

[Gems]

I agree too. If can afford, bring them for holidays. If not, even short trips to Malaysia is good. We must treasure the time we have with our parents.

[Funz]

Spend time with your parents while you still can. Need not be holidays to faraway places, can even be a weekend at a chalet will be memories that you will treasure. Me and my siblings have been going for family trips with our parents for years and with each trip we cannot help but be reminded that there may not be many such trips left with them.


We were supposed to for to Korea last week with my sisters and my parents. However, at the very last minute, my family is not able to make it so my sisters with their family and my parents went ahead. The reason for this sudden change? My FIL passed away suddenly, on the day that we were supposed to fly off.

It has been a hectic week and we are just getting back to our normal routine. DH is feeling really down. He has many regrets and is feeling very guilty. He regretted not spending more time with FIL. He regretted not including them in our yearly holidays. He feels even worse when he was clearing out FIL’s stuff and saw that most of the photos of PIL’s holidays were with his Sis and there were none with us. All these are eating away at him now.

I feel bad for DH and can only hope that with time, he will be able to let go of his guilt and going forward, make the effort to spend more time with his mother.