[Fun Poll] How satisfied are u with ur child(ren) results?

[coolit]

I do cane when they are rude but I find it effective only till a certain age. Kids older than 10 years should be reasoned with. When I caned my ds when he was 11 for something really bad that he did, he would not talk to me for 2 days. I learnt the hard way that talking to him and getting him to open up is better at that age.

[vlim]

when my boy was about 3 yrs old, we brought him to a shop selling household items and we were looking at a bunch of canes....Then he said 'I want the blue colour one..'.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: ...so funny..

[peapot]

I also realized the boys in my gal’s school start to use the word "fuck" as early as P2. I wonder if the parents know about it.

[Chenonceau]

I only use the cane for HIGHLY INGRAINED behavior that arises from just BELOW the consciousness. This is the case of attention to detail.


I don’t ever cane for rudeness… for disobedience… for attitude. These things can be explained and talked through consciously. I agree with CoolIt that getting them to open up and discuss is far better. So I have never felt the need to use the cane. The habit of carelessness is situated below the consciousness.

If rudeness is an expression of unhappiness, I try to find out what is bothering my child. If rudeness is an expression of ignorance, then I advise my child. If rudeness is an expression of a negative attitude, then it helps to find out the roots of the negative attitude, and address it there.

IMHO

[Chenonceau]

vlim:

when my boy was about 3 yrs old, we brought him to a shop selling household items and we were looking at a bunch of canes....Then he said 'I want the blue colour one..'.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: ...so funny..

Once... I had to buy 10 canes for use in a management workshop. You should have seen the way the butcher, the vegetable seller and the fishmonger LOOK at me.

[vlim]

Chenonceau:

vlim:

when my boy was about 3 yrs old, we brought him to a shop selling household items and we were looking at a bunch of canes....Then he said 'I want the blue colour one..'.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: ...so funny..

Once... I had to buy 10 canes for use in a management workshop. You should have seen the way the butcher, the vegetable seller and the fishmonger LOOK at me.

they must be thinking this mummy must be vvery fierce...

[Funz]

vlim:

when my boy was about 3 yrs old, we brought him to a shop selling household items and we were looking at a bunch of canes....Then he said 'I want the blue colour one..'.... :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: ...so funny..

:rotflmao: So cute. So innocent.

[Funz]

I am not fully against caning. I believe that if used properly, it can be a very effective tool to correct some behavioural issues.


There is no cane at home. My kids have never tasted the cane as a form of punishment/penance. I guess I am lucky that there basically has been no need. For me, the cane is reserved for the most serious of transgression and after all other methods to change the behaviour have failed.

My kids were curious when they heard that their cousin was caned and they saw the marks on his leg. So I went to my garden, cut a stalk of ginger bamboo from my planter and demonstrated to them how it feels to be caned and what they are feeling is nowhere near 50% of the strength an adult can apply behind the stroke of the cane.

That convinced them that they never want to see the cane in our house.

[PiggyLalala]

Chenonceau:

I only use the cane for HIGHLY INGRAINED behavior that arises from just BELOW the consciousness. This is the case of attention to detail.


I don't ever cane for rudeness... for disobedience... for attitude. These things can be explained and talked through consciously. I agree with CoolIt that getting them to open up and discuss is far better. So I have never felt the need to use the cane. The habit of carelessness is situated below the consciousness.

If rudeness is an expression of unhappiness, I try to find out what is bothering my child. If rudeness is an expression of ignorance, then I advise my child. If rudeness is an expression of a negative attitude, then it helps to find out the roots of the negative attitude, and address it there.

IMHO

This is something new. I always have the impression that we should not cane the child for careless mistakes or poor results but should cane the child if the child is rude/disrespectful or has very poor attitudes. Hmm.. something for me to think...

[Chenonceau]

PiggyLalala:

This is something new. I always have the impression that we should not cane the child for careless mistakes or poor results but should cane the child if the child is rude/disrespectful or has very poor attitudes. Hmm.. something for me to think...

It's JUST a perspective. Take it only as that. Our family is rather odd anyway. Different families are different. Our children are different. What works for me mayn't work for you.